Light and Haze, 13: Clarity
06 Oct 2021Meowers
Travellers of the past times had one interesting saying. Like, 'the road home is always shorter'. Can't help but admit that this thing is still actual, even if we don't have any 'roads' in space now. Yup. Return trip seems faster. So, we made it back to Komotae. Bluford Station. 'The place where I keep my stuff', hah. And... Ah, finally. It's awesome to know that you know what to do next.
So, ummm... All the way back I was preparing for a long talk. Explaining, encouraging, telling about possible consequences and all that... But it didn't happen, thankfully. Maybe it was because Jacqueline had medical education by herself. Maybe because she was aware of what's happening with her. Maybe both. But... Ah. I really hope that it wasn't because she automatically agrees with anything that I say her, because of..you know, past months. Anyway, it was really good to see her confident nod after I pulled my communicator out of the pocket and asked her, "Let's do this?". And, yup. It's now two weeks until her first appointment. Initial assessment, tests, starting the diagnostics, all that stuff.
See, sometimes it may be complicated. Some people tend to downplay the importance of their own problems that affect their lives. They see a strength in withstanding, trying to deal with everything on their own. But fighting and rebuilding what was lost makes you even stronger. Some people can't see what's clearly visible from the outside. And it's understandable, as we all see the world through our own eyes, our own 'prism', that makes our today's actions and decisions look ultimately correct. We get used to what we have been living with for years, we adapt, we develop our own workarounds. It's not bad, however, some of them may be not that efficient. There's still a weight to bear. Also some people tend to doubt, especially when they have a long stretch of 'good' days, even if they know that 'bad' days will drain their energy and spirit when they happen. Well, there's also a chance that someone had their share of bad experiences, they lost any faith and stopped trying. It's sad to see, but still, world is a big place with many options possible, so it's important to keep trying. But the most saddening thing I know is the criticism and discrimination that you may face in the society, and you may fear it. I really wish it would stop. So people won't lose their jobs, their families, their friends, their everything, won't be seen as 'second rate' because of something that is not their fault.
Uh... Yeah, yeah, maybe I'm smart. But we should think about the next two weeks. I had an idea, however...
"So, now you're a trainee at Pilots Federation, right?", I asked Jacqueline, trying to make the the most sly face that I can possibly do. She was browsing something on the terminal, so, um, I had to stand close to her to attract attention.
"Hmmm... What do you mean? What that face means? Errm... Officially, maybe. But..."
"What trainees do? They do trainings! So, trainee. Meet your flight instructor!", aaaand, I pointed at myself with a finger. And made the most goofy grin that's possible, of course.
"W..w..what? Oh. That's... Aw. Thank you... Again. Do you have a... Training ship? Or I'll be piloting... Ah. No, no, no, you're joking, right?"
"Nnnope. You'll fly the Marshmallow. Ummm... With me onboard, of course."
Ah, also I said that she may turn that down if she don't want, but, ummm... There's nothing to do here. Except some ordinary starport amenities and public places outside. Or that terminal inside with an access to endless source of human stupidity called GalNet, and local networks, with, um, local sorts of stupidity. Like, really, some people believe that planets are flat? And that..Thargoid worshipping? Live broadcasts of someone mining asteroids, that make you fall asleep? Ugh... And, yeah, sitting in the cabin is great for a day, two, three... Ah, who am I kidding, once I spent more than a week here without even looking outside, hah, but that's me. So, then. Mentioned that I want to give her a chance to obtain some actual experience. Before she gets to the official PF training programme. As its successful completion was... Yeah. The only way to keep the licence. And she still has time to prepare and even earn some money...
And. We still had to do that screening... To scan her for tracking implants and just to be sure that she's not at health risk. But... Everyday basic measures, like flight suit health monitor, or just asking 'how do you feel today', were telling that she's, physically, recovering, and not in a danger. So... I think I should give her a stable stretch of time, be it even a few days. That feeling of being in a safe place. And even involved in doing something useful, but without stressing. Those last days were kind of... Exhausting. Even for me.
And, yeah. She accepted. With a bit of being surprised, of course, but, hah. Uh... Okay, now I'm a flight instructor! Yay! Khm. Without a programme. Without any teaching experience. And my training ship is a combat vessel, marked as 'hostile' by the Big Three. So, I guess... Those training Sidewinders would be an easy ride for her after this, hah. Well... I planned the first takeoff for, um, 'tomorrow', and downloaded some useful theory stuff for beginners to the terminal. So that she can read it in her free time, or even copy it to her datapad. You know, that control basics, navigation, HUD indication, how to use the map, how not to run out of fuel, all those things that will be useful during the real training with, um, real instructor. Couldn't find even a trace of explanation why landing pad loitering is considered a crime, but... Yeah. We shall just accept this.
So now, when we were relatively unoccupied, I took the liberty of asking her about possible trip to her parents... And, khm. I expected that, actually. So, had to say sorry. Because she instantly frowned and answered with a sharp loud 'no'. Oh, well. Then I won't be asking why... She just added, after a pause, that she haven't got the slightest intention of visiting that, um, 'godforsaken hole' on the 'moss-ridden piece of space rock', and 'those deranged control freaks'. And 'to explain what happened and then listen to their crap'. And then also about 'them trying to correct their own mistakes, but in her life'. And about relationships, ruined by their control and aggressive reactions. And about trying to make choices for her. And more. And more... Oh. I think I was right... Ouch... You may guess, I was just sitting there and listening to her, to what she thinks about them, like, several minutes, and there were no fond words at all... So then she stopped, looked at me, and, uh, made her apologies. For that sudden meltdown. Yeah, okay, I got it, I got it, this topic is closed... For ever. But she called me strange again when I said my thanks for sharing this. Told her that sharing personal issues is a sign of trust... And I should be proud that I was the one whom she can say it to. Ah, 'strange' once more, but with that smile of relief...
Ah. But that joke about her old folks... Having a heart attack after seeing her piloting a 'hostile' Fer-de-Lance. A wicked part of me says it was funny!