The Fate We Share, 6: A Way Out
01 Mar 2022Meowers
Warning: potentially triggering content.
I hurried to the building mentioned by Ryan in his last letter. Was stopped once by a patrol, but I was still in the clear as my landing record said that I've landed just a few hours ago. Lied to them about some kind of meeting and being late. Anyway, it was an unwanted delay. I had to hurry.
A simple building, two levels and a fire escape on the back wall. Reaching the roof, I saw a person, sitting behind a wide air duct. Short dark hair... Surely, it must've been him. Resisted the urge to call him loudly, had to be quiet... Now, even a sound my steps could be suspicious. Rounding the metal air duct, I finally saw Ryan.
It was too late. He was dead. Sitting in a pool of his own blood... With his arms cut. Blooded papercut knife. Empty box of painkiller pills. And blood... Crap! Too late. It's too late. He's dead. Blood was dry... He was dead for several hours already. I sat nearby and..those thoughts. They filled my head..instantly.
I've seen much dead people in my life, but they were..criminals, slavers, gangsters..and he was innocent. He was..a victim of injustice and bigotry of this society. And he took his own life, thinking that..it was his only way to escape. I know those tendencies, those thoughts well enough, but also I know what's my source of them, I'm able to resist. But he seems like..he reached the breaking point. Lost any last glimpses of hope..and decided that his future could be worse than death. He was prepared. He knew what to do. It wasn't a sudden impulse, he was planning to do that... And there's death. Quick, in a pair of minutes. The end of everything. The end of suffering that... His life was full of.
I reread the last letter, then folded them and put them carefully in the pocket of his jacket. His family, his classmates, everyone in this sick colony should know what happened. Why it happened. What he endured in his short and painful life. What his last days were like. What forced him, what feelings were driving his hand in the last moments of his life.
Then I returned to Jacqueline’s quarters. She and Daniel were there, and..I had to tell them about Ryan. About his last letters and about his fate. Jacqueline and Daniel were disconsolate with grief, and I just..become stuck. Again. Without any idea how to resolve this. Lost for words. Couldn't..process that properly. I knew they were in grief, but..how should I help them now? What should I say? What else can I say, after bringing them sad news like that? What can I do if it's too late already? What can I do without doing or saying something inappropriate? I just sat on the bed next to them, silent and..fighting my own guilt. I wasn't able to help him earlier, I didn't know what to say now, and... I had to be faster. Much faster...
But it's all over now.
I gave them some time, and then I told them we needed to get out of there. We dressed Daniel in some baggy clothes and a hoodie to try to hide his identity. Just before leaving the quarters, Jacqueline called the local police and told about Ryan's whereabouts, so they could retrieve the body, bring the news to his family, and arrange a proper funeral. She ended the call quickly, without revealing her name, and we carefully made our way down a series of back alleys, constantly on the lookout for the security patrols. Eventually we made it to the maintenance entrance to the hangars, and I was able to force the door and get us inside and over to Marshmallow.
We boarded the ship and I requested permission to take off. I said I was alone. No one knew Jacqueline and Daniel were hiding aboard, and so I was given permission and I took off and headed back with them to Komotae.
No one should have to endure what those poor boys did, but sadly people like us are subjected to this kind of discrimination and abuse all the time. And those young people like Ryan and Daniel are especially vulnerable. They can't just leave and live their own life, they can't just separate themselves from abuse and bigotry, they haven't enough experience to withstand all that. What kind of sick society might make people take their own lives? Make people think that life is worse than death? Young people who had so much years ahead? In communities like Bennett's Landing their lives were already taken away from them, from the very start. How many settlements like that one are scattered across the Galaxy?
We were able to save one today. But all my thoughts were about the hundreds of people who were left there.