Exposure - 9 (1/2) - Playground
17 Nov 2023Kasumi Goto
Part 8 here
Now that I was back in the menus of the VR space after that ‘initial impressions meeting’ - albeit, in my custom avatar - I wanted to begin looking for some maps to play around on. Of course, part of me immediately got distracted in toying with my big chest, for a while, now that I had a moment in private. I stopped it before it got out of control - which took a lot of mental effort - and focused on what I was actually meant to do.
"Hm... let's see... no, that's basically just a city sandbox. Boring. Something more open... a park? That doesn't have much more than grass and surrounding woods ..."
I spent a while looking until I found a playground that looked right to me - someone's personal creation, apparently. Standard house, with a bunch of 'physical games' outside of it, scattered across a grassy plain, a mountainside in the background. If I didn't know better, I could have sworn I'd made this. I saved it, then looked at the city sandbox again. Potentially interesting anyway, I thought, so I went ahead and marked it as well. Something to ask Meowers for, so I sent her a message.
Hey, I found some stuff. I'll send you the links with this message - one is like, some kinda city sandbox where you can just go and screw around with whatever stuff you like. Thought it was boring at first glance, but might be worth checking out later, discover what's in it. The other just looks like someone made themselves a house and put a bunch of 'physical' games outside. The usual stuff. Basketball, tennis courts, you name it. Although you might be as tall as the hoop... not sure if there's hurdles.
Anyway, I'll load the thing with the house up. If you join, make sure you appear outside, okay?
I sent the message off, the relevant links attached to it, and set up the private lobby, with a tag clearly indicating it would only be open to friends. Then, loaded into the map. It was simplistic enough to be entertaining for a short while, and get a basic grip on our new forms. Appearing inside the house, I sent the invite to Meowers, with the specification of allowing her to choose her 'spawn point', and began to explore a little while waiting.
I found the house to be… completely ordinary. Everything a person would expect from one to live inside was present, with a living room, kitchen and whatnot on the ground floor, private spaces and a bathroom on the first. All definitely not sized for a 2.5 meter giant.
As I was waiting for Meowers… I got distracted again. Not so much testing my body’s sensitivity further - though part of it was just that - but its ‘size’. Namely, trying to get over the fact that my hands barely managed to cover my breasts. Or, rather, were slightly outclassed by them.
A knock on the door pulled me out of my fantasy, and I finally noticed that notification of Meowers joining the party.
“Oh, damn it! I wasn’t ready yet!”
I dropped my further investigation of ‘important bodily features’ and quickly found somewhere with a mirror, plus a wardrobe to change. Technically, I could have used the game interface to do it, but that didn’t quite feel right.
So I slipped into a rather unusual attire for me - a tank top that kept my chest adequately covered and hugged it, but left some skin exposed on the waist. Plus some shorts that, while not tight, neatly highlighted my thigh curves, and to a lesser degree hips, going down the thighs only partway. Both dark blue, though I had them in black variety too. The finalized look was accompanied by some simple sport shoes, and of course, full hand gloves.
It would certainly raise some questions, given the departure from my usual attire, but this was a space for us to test new things, and I was getting quite comfortable in my ‘expanded’ form. So I moved to the door, still getting used to the increased swaying of my shoulder-wide hips, and the movement that I felt on my chest in each step. The former of those would probably quickly be caught on by her, too.
“Hey, how do you like my new - “ I stopped talking, noticing Meowers not quite dressed the same - this time, she wasn’t wearing her usual ‘ half of the outfit is a military uniform’, but instead, a violet t-shirt, knee length stretchy shorts and a pair of quite basic sneakers, along with fingerless gloves. And she was waiting rather close by. “Oh. Uh. Hey. You look nice in that.”
That was all I could say to her particular attire. It also made me feel a little less uncomfortable in using more exposing, if activity-appropriate wear. Perhaps having wider curves also incentivized my brain to show off a little.
"Hey!" She greeted me, smiling. "Yeah, and you look nice in that too! Certainly something to make a note about, for the future times."
"That... Does feel good, isn't it?" She stood there, with one hand on her waist, shifting her weight slightly from the left leg to the right and back to the left, as if preparing to run or jump.
"Well, I do like... this." I raised my arms and looked down at myself, as if to mean 'my body'.
"Still going to take a bit of getting used to. I mean, I've got hips that are as wide as my shoulders, and my hands can just barely cover up those funbags on my chest now. Not that I mind."
I stepped outside properly, and positioned myself some distance from Meowers, paying more attention to how my thighs were kind of rubbing against one another, some of their great size visible as skin in my current clothing.
"So, where'd you like to start? Or maybe you want to chat a bit before I make myself look like an idiot and fall flat on my chest. And if you're curious about what I'm wearing, it's... an exception. Trying if I like something this short."
I had slightly misjudged the shorts, so they seemed to cover more like, just a little bit more than my underwear did the thighs, rather than getting close to the knees. It didn't seem to bother me much, though, not presenting a significant difference to how much was visible, and they sat quite snugly. As did the top, which I also liked, as it kept my breast in a more solid position, and made it look firmer.
"Say, how's it look to you how I walk? I mean, because of, you know, those things being wider and all."
"Hm," Meowers rubbed her chin slowly, thinking. "Actually, never had a chance to see you walking more than a few steps. So, if you don't mind me staring... Phah."
Motioning at the general direction of various work-out and activity installations, she added:
"In return, you can always laugh at me breaking stuff unintentionally. And resorting to unconventional methods of using common items. Totally goddamn worth it, I'd say! Mwahahahaha. And, talking... Well, why not?"
"Like, what's the reason for all this?" She made a wide encompassing gesture, including the house, the yard, a bit of sky, and both of us. "To make us feel like these are our real bodies placed in a piece of the real world. And, hells, it works great. So.... Hmmm..."
She took a brief pause and then raised the index finger, pointing it upwards.
"How long has it been since someone offered you a chance to drop flat onto a lawn... Like the one over there, and combine talking and gazing at the clouds?"
“How long?” I needed to pause to reflect on that question. “… too long.”
That was all I could say without going into really uncomfortable details.
“Anyway, I don’t mind you looking as long as you don’t get any ideas about, you know, getting physical. If you want to go poking, you’ll have to ask.”
As if to emphasize that point, I began to walk around at a regular pace, trying to look natural. But the size of my thighs was such that I had to put at least a little bit of care into it. I stopped after a little bit.
“So anyway, you wonder why I decided to do this?”
Another pause, pondering whether I wanted to come out about it. I decided to anyway, seeing as I’d already outed myself as being weird like this.
“I kinda just like bodies with, uh, big parts.” Both hands went to my breasts and ‘weighed’ them, as if to provide the example on myself. “And, I guess, I like watching them get bigger, weird as that sounds. For other women, that is. Or maybe myself. And it is really fucking nice.”
Following that, I began to walk around again, both to give Meowers more ‘material’ to provide me with her impressions from various angles - frontal, back and side - and pass the time to let her respond, as well as decide what I wanted to do.
"Phah," she chuckled, observing my promenade. "I knew there was more going on behind that rather than simple curiosity. You know what? Everything's fine by me as long as it doesn't harm anyone, physically or mentally."
"And, as for getting physical, even if it's... Kind of, virtual... Don't worry. I have my priorities. Which put even thinking about doing so off the list. Yet that doesn't mean you aren't," And, saying so, she pointed a finger at me, "Hella hot looking right now. Phah."
Meowers paused for a little while and looked down, observing her own body.
"And you already know, as far as I can remember, what made me make myself like... That. Embracing the weirdness and maxing out the only thing I liked in my body. Now, I like everything in it."
Her stare couldn't stay unfocused for a long time, of course, and ended up pointed at my features again.
"It suits you, you like it and that's becoming obvious, you know? The way you walk and even look at things around you. It feels... Positive. Even if it's damn impossible to keep looking at your face only. But something tells me you'd like to know that I stare at you. Phah."
I shrugged as I answered.
"I wasn't exactly expecting you to not look when I decided to make myself more interesting to look at. But I think you know that I, someone who's really shy and antisocial, wouldn't just have made those sexual features of my body, bigger, just because I wanted them to be. It's going to... or, well, would, draw more attention. From more than one person."
I stopped walking and faced the oversized body of Meowers, kind of just... looking, still not over that sense of awkwardness. Tilting back and forth on my feet a bit, then placed my right hand on the hips, leaned to the right slightly, an action that was simple, yet felt very fulfilling, feeling how wide my lower body half was. With nothing to cover my waist, the upper hip curve was plainly visible for all to see.
"It does just feel... right. Not proportional maybe, but who gives a shit? It's my body, I like it that way, and I don't care if it doesn't meet someone's arbitrary societal standards for the 'perfect female body' to display on a catwalk or some stupid thing. It should make me happy first and foremost."
Listening to me, Meowers sat on the ground slowly, crossing her legs and leaning on her hands. Seemingly trying to mitigate the obvious height difference. For some reason, she moved way slower than usual, apparently enjoying the process, judging by the look of her face.
"And what's that perfect body thing anyway? Rhetorical,” she replied. “I don't believe in that bullshit. You should be fine with it, it should be healthy and fit for what you're doing. I'd certainly be happy to stay like that for-damn-ever. I guess you thought of that too, for yourself."
She looked relaxed, content, definitely enjoying the moment, turning her face to the sun.
"Everything starts to look different once you're happy with yourself. It's like... Your eyes are opening to something you haven't noticed before. That's one of the reasons why I laughed like nuts back there in the room."
”Yeah, uh, I was kind of busy with other things, so I don’t think I noticed you losing it back there.”, I replied, then took a deep breath, closing my eyes while I did so. When I opened them again, my expression had shifted to one of concern, or worry.
"There is something I keep meaning to bring up, yet keep forgetting about. But I'm not sure if this is the right place."
We both knew what I meant with that, so I didn’t really need to specify.
“But, yeah, I sure wouldn’t mind being like this for… well, at least a long time, really. I don’t really mind my ‘normal’ body, but something about this …”
I put both hands to my hips, standing straight, and placed both legs apart slightly.
“… something about this body being so big just seems like it was always what I wanted from it. I guess it’s a bit weird when I don’t like showing off, but …”
Meowers smiled, hearing my words. In a happy way.
"Yeah. Totally. Something you always wanted even if you didn't know about it before. Something just clicked into place and now you feel... right. Like, it always should've been that way."
I shook my head, sighed, and sat down, crossing my legs near me. I needed to let this out, even when I felt concerned that any transmissions I was sending out were being monitored.
“Don’t want to ruin the mood, but I can’t just… not say this. It feels wrong, somehow, that I’m making friends like this, putting them at risk just for my own sake, because of the people out there that are after me. I think you know what I mean.”
I threw an indicative look at where the remains of a subject designation would have been on my wrist, near the right hand. Thankfully, that element was missing entirely from this virtual recreation of my body.
"...And don't worry about ruining anything,” Meowers switched to a more serious and thoughtful tone. “If it bothers you, I'm here to listen. I'd say..."
She made a pause and let her stare wander unfocused left to right for a little while, and then continued.
"Let them come get some. Thugs, cultists, Azimuth freaks... Hells, even the Thargoids. Risk has always been an element of freedom. Yet, you think about people you call friends. No matter what kind of weird tech has been placed into your body, that makes you more human than most."
“I know, I’m still human… what makes me that is my brain. But …”
I sighed, and felt my hands begin to crawl up my body, subconsciously. I stopped them about halfway up my big thighs, their meaty mass and size somehow providing me with a certain comfort, without the touch being inappropriate, or making me as distracted as the chest would have.
“I just don’t… know. Don’t feel like I should be getting close to other people like this. I just don’t want to see them getting used against me because this shitty world has more assholes in it than… I don’t know, you come up with some reference point.”
I shook my head, then looked at my hands gently probing into those thighs. Even doing that felt almost… ecstatic. This was something I’d need to thoroughly work through privately after this, or I’d just constantly get distracted by it.
“I guess I have this, at least. I did always want to know… how it felt like, being this big, instead of looking at it in pictures. Now that I know… it’s not that bad. Do kind of wonder how the others would react if they saw me like this, back on that station. In reality.”
I meant Inara in my mind, of course, but there was no telling if Meowers would catch on to the hint.
"Hmmm...", she blinked slowly and then let her sight go unfocused again, thinking. "You know, there's a thing I learned while dealing with all that mental health stuff. Isn't exactly your case, but you might see the point. Those who are okay with you, they will accept you even if it might be dangerous for them. And those who aren't... They aren't going to stick around for long."
She openly stared at what I’d been doing, again, once she finished the sentence: it seemed like that new shape of mine was attracting her look without her conscious awareness of it. She looked like she had to try controlling her eyes, and... Not always successfully.
"Aaaand... No matter what you do and how you look, you're always going to annoy or upset someone. Like, as you said, this shitty world has more arseholes in it than... Well, I haven't measured the density of arsehole population, or share of arseholes in different types of societies, or how being an arsehole correlates with age, background, any personal beliefs, or any other demographic experiment regarding arseholes, yet I agree. It's a hell of a lot of arseholes."
"At least it's possible in your case, phah...", she chuckled with a little desperation in her voice.
"Well, as long as I don't have to beat up those idiots to rescue you, I guess it'll be fine.”, I remarked. “And being the princess that needs saving would suit neither you nor me, anyway. But really - I don't want you to get into trouble because of me. And if I'm not in control of myself... I'd rather not end up hurting someone I care about."
I sighed yet again, and rolled my shoulders slightly, finding them a bit stiff.
"Either I need to move my arms more, or all that weight on my chest isn't doing me any favors. And how do you think people would react to seeing me like this?"
I gestured at my bigger features, in a way, which also resulted in a bit of movement on my chest, as if Meowers wasn't getting distracted enough. I could certainly notice her gaze wandering, not that I was any better at it, or would be, if I had this kind of shapely body opposite of me.
She let out a long sigh and scowled a little.
"Yep. I understand... That's how it works, commonly. You don't want to put anyone you care at least a little about into jeopardy or harm them somehow. But you can't since it's... Such a large part of you that you never asked about. And... You know what?"
She traced a wide vague circle in the air with her finger and added, smiling a little and sounding more lively.
"As weird as it sounds, as unreal as it is, this moment wouldn't be possible without you. And without our previous talks. So, maybe this is your way of dealing with it? Finding, or creating, positive moments and sharing them with people who aren't afraid of risks that your position might bring? So that... You might get to mean something to those people. And they, to you. And you aren't that lost in this world full of strangers anymore."
Blinking quickly, and a bit shyly, several times, she looked at my face, smiling, with her hands put together in front of her chest.
"Phah. I'd totally like to hug you now, but I know it is not... exactly... 'your' thing."
I blinked a few times, slowly and thoughtfully, registering what I had just been told.
“I… guess you’re right, but I’d give a lot to just… not have all of that shit. I already lost way too much long before I even became a pilot, and then Azimuth comes and thinks I haven’t had enough yet… hell, I probably shouldn’t be talking about it, because those fuckjobs are… most likely listening to every bit of data that I send over a comms network.”
I sighed, and straightened myself out a little.
“I can’t stop thinking about it all, even when I don’t want to. But then… if I wasn’t so fucked up, I’m not sure I’d have met anyone I did, after… you know. The only good thing is that I don’t remember some of the shitty stuff from my ‘old’ life. Which isn’t even that old, but you get the idea. Your memories don’t take kindly to your brain getting roasted by electricity almost entirely.”
I shifted my position to let my legs be stretched out in front of me.
“Anyway, yeah, I’ll pass on those hugs. Especially since I’ve got twice as much mass on my chest now, and you… well… you know. I do want to know what you think others would say if ‘real me’ looked like this. Because, I mean, there might be ways. And if I’m happy like that …”
I didn’t pursue the thought train from there, seeing as it was relatively obvious where it was headed. And tried my hardest to look ‘uber-Meowers’ in the face, when I usually had my eyes locked somewhere that was not direct eye contact, but also not inappropriate to look at.
"Like, yeah, I understand," Meowers laughed and waved her hand lightheartedly. "No worries. This might be... a little too experimental for now, phah."
She closed her eyes slowly and rolled her shoulders a little. Inhaling and exhaling steadily, she stretched her arms out to the sides, then slowly raised them vertically and arched her back, remaining in that position for a second. Making a deep breath, she relaxed and silently placed both hands on the thighs of her legs crossed in front of me. Smiling softly, contentedly, she opened her eyes again.
"I guess, this might be a life-changer. In a good way. And, what about the others..."
She noticed me looking at her, in the eyes, something neither of us did too often.
"Honestly? I've no idea", she shrugged. "I'm not an expert when it comes to that human social interaction stuff. Like I said, some people will always end up being pissed off, no matter what you do, and even not doing anything at all will piss off some. People who know you personally? You can explain that to them. Other random folks... Many of them will see you for the first, and the last time in life."
Continuing the thoughts, Meowers rubbed the back of her head, apparently noticing that one item that she's been wearing for ages, that had been also flawlessly copied. A hair scrunchie. That time, she thought it would be a good idea to remove it for a little while, placing it on the wrist. Meowers shook her head slowly, clearly enjoying the feel of her hair travelling through the air.
I, meanwhile, observed that act in its entirety, only beginning to speak when it was done..
“You know, I used to have mine a bit differently. Little longer at the back, down to the top of the neck maybe. All swept backward, so my forehead was clear. Still not sure if I like this or my old hairstyle more.”
I shifted my hips around a little, along with the rest of my body, then pulled my legs in closer to my body, keeping the knees at chest level.
"Ow. Phah. Soo...”, Meowers continued talking. “You know, dwelling too much on what other people might think, you're not getting anywhere. Like, some might find that... New you quite cute. Some might think you've done it for a... certain way of using it, to say. You're definitely going to get more attention, some of it unwanted. Yet, those people and their opinions... I doubt they carry any meaning for you and for your life. Your own body, on the other hand, is something that you always have, even if you're alone."
"Ah, I'd totally like to stay like that forever," she added, after a little pause, sounding a bit ironic, and stretched out her arms once more.
“So, yeah… I wasn’t really asking because I care too much what other people think.”, I said to that. “At least, not those people that mean nothing to me.” A bit of a teasing smirk appeared on my face as I tilted my head to the right. ”I might care about, oh, I don’t know, your opinions… a little more.”
“Part of me wants to just try it to see how everyone reacts. The people whose reactions I care about, anyway. But it would not do good things to my social confidence, I can tell you that for sure.”
I chuckled at that idea a little, imagining me feeling horribly awkward at everyone looking at me for having a very curvy figure all of a sudden, rather than ‘just’ curvy.
"Sooo...", Meowers sounded a little playful, "This is my opinion that interests you more, isn't it? Phah."
"You know what? I totally like it. Even if it looks a little too much, I mean, compared to the 'average', but... Look at me now, phah. So. It also makes you look... Happier, you know. And I'd like to see you happier. Adds nicely to the effect."
"And you are right here," she pointed my finger at me, making an emphasis. "We want to see how people may react. We want to project those 'shapes' of ours onto the world, to expose them to the same environment we're dealing with daily. Subconsciously maybe. To see how 'better versions of us' would fare. Hoping that, being happy with our appearances at least, we might reach a... better life, of sorts. At least something that, we think, suits us better. Even trying to predict possible reactions is a part of the same game. We want to think of them, we want to prepare for them, since they're going to remind us of those... adjustments we've made, of us getting to be 'better versions'. Also, like, who knows, maybe being happy with yourself could put a dent into your social awkwardness. Or you may stay awkward, but now for the reasons you like."
She made a contented smirk after pulling off such a long pseudo-philosophic contemplation and copied my posture, pulling her legs closer to the body and wrapping her arms around them, curling up and turning into somewhat like a ball. Quite a big one.
“Well, I guess the people that are already going to care about or find me ok now are… probably still going to take me even with bigger, uh, features.” I answered, looking at her, “Besides, it just matters that I’d do it to make myself happy, not show off or, uh, ‘play with myself’. And… I don’t know, stupid idea maybe, but I might be able to get that weird thing in my head to ‘do’ something. I hope it won’t decide to do anything because I’m, uh, probably sending a lot of positive signals about these things to it right now.”
I looked down at my thighs, which were hardly less noticeable, even in this curled up position on the ground. Seeing as Meowers was feeling herself too, I pulled off my gloves and placed them in the grass, running a hand through it, before I felt the exposed skin of my thighs - thoroughly enjoying the feeling of that contact, as well. It prompted me to let out a deep, oddly satisfied breath.
"And if those... things in your body can regenerate your tissues, I guess they might add more of them too... Somehow. Who knows?” Meowers shrugged and then proceeded with speaking out her thoughts. “Certainly, far above my level of expertise on 'weird unknown alienish tech', I only know where to shoot, and I'm not always correct even with that, phah."
I decided not to go into that further, stopping the act of caressing my thigh as well. Wanted to change the topic anyway, so I did.
“I don’t go outside much, so… feeling grass like this is quite nice. Really could do with this body too. It won’t be a problem… until I get old, but who wants to think about getting old?”
I paused shortly, my eyes gazing up in the air. Or they would have, if my view wasn’t filled with two and a half meter Meowers.
“Well, at this rate, neither of us might get very old, so might as well just have fun, right?”
Only a small part of my mind was currently too concerned about the potential negative consequences of making real me bigger too, but I didn’t seriously think my implant could have such an effect on it, anyway. I just knew it would certainly be receiving these positive sentiments I was having toward my enhanced form.
"Totally on point about getting old.”, Meowers remarked. “I can't fully conceptualise that 'getting old' thing, I want to have a good life, not a long and boring one." She ended that statement by grinning jokingly.
Suddenly, she began tilting her body to the right slowly, to the point where she lost her balance. Feeling that she was starting to fall on the side, she stretched out and turned, dropping on the ground on her back, with her arms and legs spread out widely and her stare turned to the sky above.
"Weeeeeeee! Ah, hells, that's so friggin' awesome."