Cmdr Kasumi Goto
Role
Registered ship name
Void Gazer
Credit balance
-
Rank
Elite V
Registered ship ID
Krait Phantom IY-09K
Overall assets
-
Squadron
YKE Technologies
Allegiance
Independent
Power
Independent

Logbook entry

Exposure - 13 (2/2) - Downtime

04 Dec 2023Kasumi Goto


Previous - Part 13 (1/2)


Back in the main room, Meowers had seemingly found what to do with my inert duplicate during my absence. And rather quickly, at that, as I’d noticed the noise even while I was still in the side chamber.

"Boop... Boop-boop! BOOP!!!" Her voice sounded more and more amused and loud. And when I entered the room, she didn’t even notice me, surrendering to an outburst of quite a loud laughter. "Boop! Aaaaaahahahaha!.. BOOP! Boop boop boop!"

The thought that circled through my mind was, ‘Well that explains the noise and laughter’, as I observed Meowers having a weird kind of fun by poking an inanimate avatar into the breasts with a finger inappropriately, over and over. Had to fight my muscles to not break out into a big grin as I observed, only slightly weirded out at the fact that it looked like me with those same oversized features.

"Ah, there you are... Ow", finally noticing my adjustments, which were copied from the model, she looked a bit confused, but in a positive way of doing so. "That's a bit... Much. But, in a good kind of 'much', you know? Not something you'd see every random day, but something you'd like to remember. Phah."

Then she realised that all that time, while she spoke, her index finger was firmly in the 'boop' position: she chuckled and quickly hid her hand behind the back as if nothing had happened, and only her grin was giving away the truth.

"That looks certainly different in action. In movement. Not like... That," she gestured towards the mannequin-duplicate, "Speaking of which... Don't say you're going to leave it here, pfffff."

I shrugged in response.

“Not like my other choice of figure before this adjustment was any… more ordinary. And I like it even more this way. I don’t think I could make it any bigger, though, or it might look too out of… uh. Size. And don’t think I missed where that finger was poking.”

I threw a hinting look at the hand that was currently trying to hide behind Meowers’ back. Then at ‘second me’.

“Not gonna leave that here, no, unless you ask for it. Nothing quite like a sex doll to have right in the middle of your apartment, isn’t there?”

Quite an obvious tease as well as joke, and I didn’t bother hiding it. Nor did I hide it in my walk that I was almost perfectly at ease, now that I had settled on my ‘ideal form’, or as close as I could get to it. If I kept thinking, I’d find a million tiny adjustments to make, and never find the right spot.

"Well, using your friend's inanimate... clone-copy-duplicate-whatever as a sex doll is too weird for me," Meowers added ironically, "It's closer to being 'creepy' rather than 'weird'... And I'm not that kind of a person... However..."

She looked into my eyes, trying to put on the most serious grimace that was possible for her to do, and leaned closer to the duplicate.

"Boop!"

I now noticed the slowly disappearing imprint I’d left behind on the sofa, which prompted me to get into the usual hand-on-hip-pose when I found something that got into my head. While Meowers had a good view of my even bigger and better backside.

“Well, better hope no one pays any attention to where I sit …”

Turning back to Meowers, while dropping my hands, I had the glow of an idea in my eyes.

“Something else I wanted to check before we get even weirder? Watch me.”

I moved to the bed in order to lie down on it, positioning myself sideways. Put my right arm down, elbow on the pillow with forearm below, just in front the chest, making my upper body rest at an angle, while both legs were laid on top of one another and angled backwards slightly, with my left arm casually resting on the same leg.

The idea had entered my head… at some point during our messing around, and I really wanted to test how it would look to someone else, quite liking the look of it in my head, thanks to my oversized hips. And now that I was actually doing it, I even loved it.

Meowers’ eyes, meanwhile, uncontrollably ran lower while I posed.

"Did you ever think of photos? Like, pics taken here could be downloaded and sent to a... well... real world computer or datapad." Looking at me, she spoke out her idea.

I put my right hand to my chin, contemplating that.

"Haven't actually thought about it, no.", I replied. "But I don't want anyone stumbling across images of me with these kinds of sizes. It's going to... pose a lot of unwanted questions."

I stopped holding the balance and just dropped onto my back with my arms spread. Which, of course, resulted in a certain kind of movement on my chest.

"Hm. By saying you could I didn't mean you should," she shrugged, "But, anyway, up to you to decide."

"I'll just get rid of that thing once we're done here.”, I said while pointing at duplicate me. “And how'd you like the pose? I can go back into it if you want a picture."

Truthfully, I'd wanted to take it just to see what it was like to be in - quite nice, if I had to say - and, perhaps, mock the pictures of the 'perfect thin woman' posing on a bed or car in basically no clothing with a 'seductive look'. So why not one with way too fat hips and some pretty big breasts on a thin body, while fully clothed?

Then, laid like this, I realized exactly how much the mass on my lower half lifted my waist up as well, when trying to be flat on the bed.

"Hell. Sleeping like this would be a nightmare.", I semi-jokingly remarked. "Might have to build a tower of pillows under my chest so I can lie normally."

"Speaking of pillows... This," Meowers pointed her finger at the duplicate model, "Could make a nice pillow! Phah." Then, she looked at me, noticing that I enjoyed the process, and muttered quietly. "Hm... Maybe I should try more of that posing stuff myself."

“A nice pillow for you, you mean.”, I dryly stated, still laying there with my arms spread.

And my legs, kind of, were too, though not by intention… so I moved them a little closer together. As close as they could be, without the thighs interfering with one another too much.

“I wouldn’t try to lie on my chest, at least. I don’t think it’d be very pleasant, even like this.”

My right arm moved to point at those funbags, in rather lazy fashion, then I rolled to the side again, resuming my pose, in… not quite graceful manner. There wasn’t that much grace to be found in me to start, and those thighs didn’t make it any better.

“Go ahead, take what pictures you want. And try not to get too distracted. Or let them slip out of your private folders if you keep them.”

"Hm," Meowers pulled out the interface and found a 'snapshot' button, but then scowled skeptically.

"Could you... Errrmm... Create, spawn, whatever, a camera please? Phah. Those snapshots look flat, cheap, half-arsed, zero-effort crap. And... Yep, I guess it would be better to remove this..." she pointed at the duplicate me. "thing".

“Hm. Okay… let me see.”

I began to fumble through menus with my left hand, letting the elbow rest on my hips as I did so, feeling… absolutely not like moving at the moment.

When I did find the camera, it spawned right in… at a normal size, and landed on the bed behind me. I fumbled for it with the same arm that summoned it, trying to figure out where it’d landed. Which, of course, was right behind my prominent backside, thanks to a light bounce off of the bed.

“That explains why I felt something down there.”, I murmured, and picked it up. With a mildly apologetic look to Meowers, as I moved it to a less compromising position to pick up from, on the bed. Then I placed my left arm back where it had been before, following the slight forward angle of the thigh, with the shins facing back a little.

“You’ll have to figure out how to work with the object slider for this if you want it bigger. And how do I look in this pose to you, anyway?”

Carefully, Meowers took the duplicate model by the waist and moved it to the corner of the room to have it out of the way. Then she reached the bed and grabbed the camera.

"Oh, can't remember the last time I played with those. Quite liked it in my younger years, you know?", she said, turning the thing left and right and looking at the controls. "Now, turn that on..."

She pressed the power button and the camera awakened, extending the optics and emitting a beeping sound. Thankfully, this device was meant for more or less professional usage, with old-school physical buttons and dials that could be operated blindly, with your eye looking through the visor. Yet... That also meant problems for her. Obvious problems. When gripping the thing by the sides, her fingers interfered with the optics. Holding it with her left hand under the bottom was awkward and her wrist was pressed against her chin. And it almost slipped and fell on the floor once she tried to reach the controls with the right hand.

"Dammit. Nah. Scale sliders are for wussies. I have to learn that ‘interacting with your normal human world objects’ thing. And I'm going to do that shit on a hardcore mode!"

Finally, the optimal option was found: holding the camera tightly with the fingertips, and it was totally possible thanks to Meowers being almost three times stronger.

"Now that's what I call taking pictures...", she muttered, fiddling with exposure and aperture settings. "The pose? It's awesome. And you do look awesome. And hot. Otherwise, I wouldn't have thought of having a little more fuss. Now... Try to look natural."

She took a few shots and looked at the previews on the little screen.

"Yeah. You might want to keep it in your private collection."

”Hell, I was gonna say.”

I exited the pose and rolled onto my back again, holding my hands under my head. While trying to cross my feet, which was easier said than done, looking at how big my thighs were. And resting on the pillow like this, I could see Meowers’s face… a little better.

“I feel so damn good in this. Hell, sexy, even. Only time you might get to hear me say that. But those definitely aren’t pictures I’d want other people to see. They might think… a lot of weird things, seeing another woman with this kind of body in your photos. Mind showing them to me?”

"Sure," she handed the camera back to me. "You can copy these to your private and delete from the cam. I'm not... that kind of a person, to keep other peoples' sexy photos, phah."

Slowly, Meowers sat on the floor and leaned back against the wall, with her hands behind the head.

"Yeah. You got it right. That previously unknown feeling of having a body you like. Be it a sudden discovery, or something you wanted for a long time, doesn't matter here. I guess we'll never be the same people again. ...And I don't even think that's somehow bad," she concluded, staring at the wall.

”Eh, I don’t mind if you want to keep them. I’d say they’d be good as memories of our fun.”

I began looking through the pictures after that reply, finding… them to look almost exactly like I had imagined. Hot. Damn hot. The light smile that was on my face already grew a little wider, not that I could know if Meowers saw over the camera. They really highlighted the curvature and size of my lower half from the knees up to the waist. And a little bit of my chest was visible too. But I really liked that lower half so much more.

“Hell, this looks fucking awesome.”, I remarked. “Almost, even better than I imagined. But, pfft” I barely suppressed some uncontrolled giggling. “Part of me thinks it looks so god damn ridiculous to have me with parts that are as wide as my entire body.”

I couldn’t quite hold it in further and just let the amusement that I felt out without much restraint.

“Oh, it’s so stupid. My hips look so fat. And my breasts… I can’t.”

The giggling transitioned into full-blown, eye watering laughter. And I didn’t even care. Meowers waited for a pause in the laughter and commented.

"You know, I do like seeing you that happy. Definitely... A contrast with what I'm used to seeing." Clearly enjoying the view of my careless laughing, she waited for another interruption. "Now we both had a mad cathartic laughter on that bed. I should keep it, I guess."

I spent another minute or two before I had enough control over myself to stop laughing so much, and wiped the tears of joy out of my eyes.

“Okay… pft… okay. Pfff.” I breathed out, to let the remaining laughing energy out with the air. “Think I’m over it now.”

I took another, this time deep, breath, picked the camera back up and saved those pictures to a private folder, then left it on the bed next to me as I sat upright, folding my legs on top of one another. I’d leave it to Meowers to decide whether to keep those pictures or not. Maybe we’d make some… more appropriate ones later.

“If you think you’ll fit on the bed, feel free to keep it.”, I said. “Anyway, you want to hear about my last weird idea? And I thought about, maybe we can make some… let’s say, less weird pictures later on.”

"Pfffhah," she chuckled, hearing about the pictures. "I knew you'd like it. Like... Maybe I should learn what to do in front of the camera too, if I'm already okay behind it, as I think. Aaand... What do you mean, 'last weird idea'? I pretty much guess... Doing anything while being in those 'new bodies' of ours is a weird idea. Especially... This," she nodded to the duplicate-mannequin still standing in the corner.

“I guess I could remove it. Or you do it. Your place, technically, so you can remove stuff from it if you want, too.”

I didn’t really think about the dummy me too much, seeing it as just that. A dummy that happened to look like me and had some… well-defined features.

“So, anyway, about that idea - I thought about looking for some… mods, I guess you’d call them. Of course, related to body stuff, but like, letting you edit on the fly with a… kind of, simulation, of what it’d feel like. Or set a certain increase to happen over… whatever time you decide to set it to.”

I threw a hinting glance down at my body. Because those were things I totally wanted to try on myself.

“Maybe also one that adds higher limits. And something that lets you screw with other players and those AI roaming around. They have to opt in on a server that uses them anyway, and they can see what’s installed or active.”

"Now that's something new," Meowers raised her eyebrow. "Like, I know some people enlarge or reduce their... Body parts. But, actively changing? Ow. Nah, that's really something new. It's a bit difficult for me to imagine that. Like, the stuff you did with that... Duplicate. But, on the move, on yourself? Hm," she shrugged and spread her arms. "Like, I tried playing with that height slider, but it was a completely different kind of stuff, since your viewing perspective changes accordingly when you do so."

"Hells now I want to see that. Curiosity, you know?", and Meowers landed her hands onto her thighs to let the slapping sound serve as the ending of her speech.

"I haven't got a clue how it'd feel either.”, I answered, shrugging. “To be honest, not sure anyone does, but I guess that's why I want to try. Although... I'm not sure whether to do it from this form or my... normal one. Because it's big enough already."

I looked down, then back up.

"But that's for later. Need to look for those anyway, so would be a good point for a break. And hey, you could totally watch me screw with someone by making their hips and breasts twice as big in a second!"

I grinned at the idea, just a little bit, and not only because I was thinking it'd be funny.

"Come to think of it, you could do it too. Just not on me."

"Hm," Meowers raised an eyebrow once again. "I guess whoever's going to connect could see those... Mods activated. But, who knows, maybe those NPCs will react to those... Rather unexpected changes too, phah. Why do I... Imagine you sitting in some kind of control tower, and making fun of those puny humans walking below? Pfffff. Just don't... 'enlarge' me, that could be a bit too much. I have to use two chairs already, phah.”

”And where’d the fun be in sitting in the tower watching from afar? If I’m gonna turn women into some hot-looking… uh, still women, I might as well be right there to watch it.”

A slightly naughty grin appeared on my face for a second, then I replied to Meowers’ other statement.

“And as long as you don’t screw with me, I have no reason to do it with you. Besides, I kinda feel like you’re a little too tall to be interesting. No offense. Though I get a feeling you wouldn’t mind a little extra either. And speaking of feelings …”

I gazed at the inert double in the spot where Meowers had placed it, adding a teasing tone to the question I was about to voice.

“How was the contact?”

"Phah! Seems like 'a little too tall' is the kind of comment I should be prepared for, like... Every time. Pffff," she giggled lightheartedly, covering her mouth with a hand. Then, narrowing her eyes like suspecting something, she added, "Hells... I'm sure there are freaky folks who'd like to be used as a toy by a woman that tall... And even ready to pay for it... Nah. I'm not into that stuff, you know."

“I don’t think I asked to know about that… thing about men... or people, existing.”, I replied to that… somewhat undesired information.. “Or wanted to. Seems kinda… gross.”

Meowers had turned her head to the duplicate in the corner, following my question about it, with her eyes slowly tracing the curves from up to down.

"That was... Soft. Pleasantly soft, I'd say. I'm not into inanimate human-like objects too, yet... Yeah. Pleasantly, in a certain way, soft. The most accurate description I can provide you with."

I’d observed her studying the curves of my double, answering when she was done talking.

“Figured you’d say something like that, considering all of the… let’s say, mass, at the back. Might’ve gone a bit far compared to my chest, but hell, I kind of like that part down there a bit more anyway. And… really, what does it matter if I lose a little bit of mobility for it? Not like I spend my days as a professional athlete. Or want to have to think about fighting in close quarters for enough of my life not to… well, have something I’d like.”

I took a deep breath.

“That aside, do you think it might be a good idea to take a bit of a break soon? We spent a good while doing these… things, in here. And I need to go look for those mods anyway. Oh, also, before I forget… allow me to remove the dummy.”

I threw a slight questioning look at Meowers to be absolutely sure she wanted it removed, before I committed.

"Ah, yeah," she nodded. "You're free to remove it. Like... I could set some NPC brain to control it, but knowing it's a copy of someone I know... Uh. No, thanks, phah."

"Yeah, the break... Damn, it should be morning already 'out there' and I have to go and do my serious stuff. Argh," Meowers sounded annoyed like a little kid whose toy was taken away by parents and now she has to play with her homework instead. "Yeah. I guess we should shut down. I repaired the door but they may use a cannon next time."

“Alright. Goodbye, second me.”

I childishly, innocently waved at it as I hit the prompt to unload the dummy model, and it kind of vanished in hologram-like manner. Still missed it being gone a little, as I liked looking at its curves. Really told me how nice, big and round I was, and appeared to other people.

“Anyway, let’s go do our stuff in the boring real world. Preferably before anyone’s door is brought down with a medieval battering ram.”

I paused for a second.

“Hell, going back to my normal body is going to be so lame. I’m really gonna have to end up doing this for real. Maybe. Or I’ll be bored and thinking about what I could have all the time.”

"Yeah, you're right...", Meowers let out a long exhale, that sounded quite sad. "I totally like being... Like that. And I have no 'real' options to change the body that way."

She made a pause, staring at nowhere.

"That's... Sad, you know? Like, that... Simulation. It opened my eyes to something and I know I can't reach it fully. More stones to that 'unhappy life' pile that's already big in my case."

"Maybe I shouldn't have tried that at all. Kept living as I lived before. But, hells... I haven't mentioned it to you, but before we met... here, after I created that... Character. I dropped flat on the floor and stared at the ceiling, smiling like an idiot, for, like... Ages. Then, that shower time. Never felt so happy just... Being."

“Well, at least you’ve got somewhere to… live that out, I guess?” I thought about what to say next, trying to keep things from being too focused on negative emotions.

“Let’s be honest, even if I made myself ‘big’ in reality, it’s going to be… not quite the same as here. Still damn nice, sure, but it’s still gonna be that same shitty world with things to worry about. And those damn biological needs that always happen at the worst possible moment.”

I stretched my arms out… and dropped flat on the bed again.

“Almost as soft as all that extra mass I’m carrying.”, I jokingly remarked after my head hit the pillow. “Point is, we still have a free space to play around in here, where we can just fuck around how we like. No restraints, no consequences. Do you really think I’d have done half the things we did with this body with… actual people being able to watch?”

I sighed, though not in the disappointed way.

“Might still get it anyway. I guess we should probably call it on this server soon, too. I don’t even know what time it is over here. Probably going to be dark for another… I don’t know, sixteen hours. Maybe more.”

"Ah... You know, I don't want to get hooked," Meowers shook her head. "But that's not your... chemically induced happiness. These things we wear...", she traced a circle in the air over her head with a finger. "They have nothing to do with what's already in your mind. And your mental response to what you see or feel. They just... Replace signals, making you see and feel."

She stood up and came closer to the window. Leaning forward, with her elbows on the window sill, she stared outside.

"The world may be as shitty as it gets... And we aren't responsible for that. We didn't ask for our birth. We adapted, we survived, yet I doubt both of us know exactly what for and what could happen next. And I don't believe in resurrection, life after death, all that rubbish. We have one life, and even if the world is shitty... Why should our lives be shitty too?"

Meowers turned around and sat on the window sill, stretching her legs forward.

"Real world works almost the same as... This one," a slight nod to the side and back pointed at the virtual city outside. "We're responsible for ourselves, we interact with things and the world reacts, but far away, beyond our reach, it lives automatically, by the rules and directions set many years ago. Centuries, maybe."

I’d gone back to a seated position during Meowers’ monologue, right leg raised to have the foot flat on the bed, knee at chest level, with the left folded into the gap underneath. Observing the motions and movement throughout, replying when she finished.

“I’m… not sure I’m following. Or where that came from. I just said this’d be a good space to come back to now and then, and mess around in without worries or consequences. Even if we change our… bodies, in that, real world.”

That was all I could really say, partly because my brain felt a little overwhelmed by the sudden deep thoughts when I wasn’t prepared for, or expecting them.

"Yeah... You're right. That might be a nice... Escape,” a tired smile appeared on Meowers’ face. ”Still too much to explain to people around me though... I don't want to have that 'game addiction' line in my files, I have enough mental shit there already."

She came closer to me and sat on the floor next to the bed, leaning against the wall.

"Ah, no more simple times for me. Being an officer and all that blah-blah-blah. But... I like it. And also I like being here, and...", she waved her hand slowly, pointing relaxed fingers at her face and leading them down to her body as long as she could, "Like this. But these are different kinds of 'liking', you know?"

Turning her head to the window, she continued her thoughts.

"First gives me that... Sense of meaning. That I, my existence, my path, means something. But that thing... I'm happy being myself for the first time. And I'm almost damn 35. That's so sick."

Chuckling sarcastically, she shook her head and looked at her feet, playfully moving those funny toes back and forth.

"Ah. Sorry. Didn't mean to spill that out on you. I get philosophical when I'm tired, even if nobody asked for that. Anyway... I'm ready. Disconnect whenever you want."

“Yeah. Okay. Might as well stop with things for now. I’m also …” A loud yawn escaped my mouth. “… getting tired.”

I stretched my arms before continuing.

“Anyway, I’ll have those mods ready when you - we meet here again. Or whichever place you’d like. Going to pull the plug in a few.”

With Meowers warned, I left it a bit of time for those simple goodbyes before I disconnected, and then shut down the server.
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