Starlog - Entry 5 - 14 August, 3304
14 Aug 2018Thalikor
Ya know, sometimes when I stop by Mars High, I look over and see Mars... Wonder if she's down there lookin' up at me somehow. Think about my parents, my daughter... I don't even know why I still hang around here, wide open galaxy, got a small fleet of ships, I could go anywhere! Keep tellin' myself it's because this is the only place to get good New Kentucky Bourbon and smokes, but you have to know someone to even buy it here... Which I do.
Wonder if she'd be mad at me. Wonder if she's moved on. Try convincing myself I'm out here doing good, doing the right thing, hunting down criminals, making the galaxy a safer place for people like her, people like our daughters. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just out here trying to put myself in a situation I don't walk away from, she'll get a letter from the Feds saying I died in the line of duty. Died a hero in some other system they've never heard of to some Imperial who might have a family just like mine.
We fought all the time when I was around. Everyone's got their problems, and it's all subjective to the person with the problems how bad they are. Truth is... I left because I like fighting. I like working on my ship, there's no other feeling like tracing a skip across a whole system, watching the oxygen in their ship burn out in an instant, even when I'm hobbling my ship to a station with my cockpit blown out running on life support systems. I like the killing... I like getting paid for it. All it takes is someone to put a contract on someone else and I'm justified. And I tell ya one thing, the galaxy would be a lot worse off without people like me, even if my reasons for doing it are all bullshit...
Three-quarter impulse... request docking.
(end of log)