LANA:"--get those for me, okay? We don't have any for some reason, and I don't like having to frantically shut off modules every time you bake the ship with an SCB."
ME: "Alright, fine, I'll get some. Just don't go crazy with the extranet shopping this time, I don't need to have 35 boxes of stuff waiting for me whenever I dock."
LANA: "Alright, deal."
ME: "Let me just access the outfitters..."
*Starport screen boot-up theme, followed by scrolling noises and tapping from a keyboard*
ME: "I wonder if they have a sale on--"
*Anonymous Access warning*
STATION COMPUTER: "Warning: access limited. Anonymous access protocol initiated."
ME: "...oh for fuck's sake." *frantic typing noises* "LANA!"
*soft electronic whirring*
ME: "What did you do this time?"
LANA: "Do what?"
ME: *I point at red screen with an annoyed face* "Why do we have a warrant against us? I swear to God, if you tried to order more of your stuff off of the black market--"
LANA: *defensively raises hands* "Hey! It wasn't me this time, honest! Why do you always think whenever something goes wrong, it's my fault?"
ME: *deadpan stare* "Because it normally is. Three days ago you flew us right into the gravity well of a damn neutron star. Do I need to bring up the pile of receipts for repairs from all of the ships you've rammed as well? Or maybe you want to see a compiled list of all of the times you browse the net looking for various types of 'personal upgrades'?"
LANA: *shuffles in place* "Alright, I'm sorry..."
*dramatically collapses to her knees in a display of quasi-supplication, creating the best 'puppy eyes' look she can*
"W-will you ever be able to forgive me..?"
ME: *looks on with an unchanging expression* "What did you do?"
LANA: *rubs the back of her head, shyly*"I maybe...kinda...sorta...accidentallyshotsomeonewithaturret."
ME: *annoyed sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose* "...how? How did you shoot someone with a turret? I need to lock onto a target to get it to shoot! Moreover, the ship needs to declare it a hostile!"
LANA: *pouty face* "You did, and I was shooting as I should be! We're bounty hunters, remember!"
ME: "So, if you did what you were supposed to be doing, that is shooting at a wanted target, how did we incur a warrant for assault?"
LANA: "Would you believe me if I said someone got in the way?"
ME: "...your personal record makes it hard to believe anything you say, you know that, right."
LANA: "Just because I like to have a little fun at your expense doesn't mean I'm a liar, you ass!" *sticks out her tongue*
ME: "You still haven't answered my question."
LANA: "Someone got in front of me while I was shooting our target and apparently filed against us automatically."
ME: "Are you sure it was their fault?"
LANA: "Well, yeah. Not everyone has the lack of common sense to fly in front of a fully combat kitted Federal Corvette while its guns are blazing."
ME: "You know what, fuck it. I'll just pay off the bounty at Interstellar Factors."
LANA: "So you believe me this time?"
ME: "Well, yeah. You are the only witness to the event. I wasn't looking at that part of the HUD because I was in the middle of PIP management."
LANA: "Wow. You actually side with me for once! I guess there is a fist time for everything!"
ME: "Well, those heat sinks you wanted aren't gonna be around for a bit. Also, shut up."