I haven't bothered with my onboard logs. I never really saw the need to. Recent events, however, have compelled me to keep better track of what I've been doing and where I've been. My memory has been starting to blur things from my past together, and I need to keep events and happenings straight if I ever hope to track down whatever happened to my mother.. or my brother's killer for that matter. So, where do I start? I joined the Paladin Consortium. I never really considered the idea of "teaming up" or joining a squadron before. To me, that seemed something fighter pilots did as a sort of "band of brothers" deal and it never really appealed to me. I've always relied more on family and close friends for any help I've needed.. not strangers. My preconceptions about this sqaudron and joining one were wrong however. I've found that, since I have no family remaining and it feels as if half the galaxy is after me, joining a squadron is about as close to family as I'm going to get. I'm overly thankful for Aisling's help with everything, but in the end, she's a princess and busy with stately matters while I, on the other hand, am not. I must remember that although my uncle is in the senate, although Aisling is my best friend of near sister status, although my father was a Majestic Class Interdictor captain, and although my mother was a renowned explorer and scientist.. I must remember that I am now on my own. My family's wealth, connections, power, status, influence, and honor all now rest on my shoulders and I haven't earned my place in the Empire as my family members have. That would be the anti-social side of me coming out. I've always been too worried about "me" and my future without being concerned about what would happen if my personal connections ever disappeared. For a while, I thought about going rogue and just playing both sides.. federation and empire. The "pirate's life for me" attitude seemed quite alluring and tempting to pursue. How could I ever just give up on my family heritage and name like that though? Being a Patreus means more than that, and I'd have worse problems if I were to tarnish our name. My uncle simply wouldn't stand for it. He won't let anything disrupt his standing or tarnish his reputation, not even his niece. That being said, I find myself at an out of the way (although quite opulent and spectacular) station in Ch'Eng. Fairey station is beautiful!! Walking around the parks, visiting the museums and art institutes, talking with the locals, and eating the local cuisine has made this temporary shelter into a home for me. I know that the Consortium would value my skills for their own use and gain, and I plan on doing my part, but I still have that "me first-look out for number one" attitude and I need to take care of myself before I can help others. In time perhaps I'll grow closer to them. I've already made quite a few friends. This is something for me though that is going to take some time. Keeping my finances straight notwithstanding, it's a matter of trust. I get that trust goes both ways, as does respect, but I've never jumped headlong into anything. I've always sat back, analyzed, planned, and executed my intent on most things in my life. The consortium is one of those things that's just going to take time. I'll get there, and perhaps along the way the friends that I make will become close and choose to help me out with my goals in the future, but for now, this new venture is one that requires patience. That all being said, I'm off to mine some void opals. I've found a very lucrative spot here in the bubble (almost unheard of anymore) that nets me a huge profit for every haul I do. I'll be taking A Snowball's Chance out for another spin here shortly as soon as I can get the damn gremlins out of her jump drive. Why is it every time I store her, the local maintenance crew always finds a way of managing to bump a power cable, leave a connector uncoupled, leave a vent open, forget a spanner wrench in the fuel intake scoop, or any of the other myriad of issues that plague proper upkeep of a finely tuned ship? I get they're indentured servants and that the least amount of effort that can be gotten away with without notice is the attitude of the day, but I treat them well and I'm polite to them, even if I do have a certain aura of superiority about me. I don't intend to come off that way, but aren't all CMDR's larger than life in some way? Anyways, A Snowball's Chance has a one hundred ton cargo capacity which nets a healthy sum and I can spend the afternoon lazily drifting around asteroids seeking opals. A couple of runs should be enough for me to consider purchasing a Type-10 and trading in Trundholm. She's a trusty old Type-9, but those new Defenders are just all around better. Trundholm served my father and brother well, but it's just not me. Her spacious and vast cargo bays echo too much for my liking, and I always feel like I'm going to bump into some drifting ghost or spirit every time I round the corner of a cargo container. Not only that, but her water purifier's have a weird way of making the onboard water taste funny, no matter how many times the filters are changed. And can I mention the creaks and groans every time we lift off of a pad?!? I'm surprised the landing gear doesn't collpase under the combined weight of her age in years alone!! The cockpit smells too... She's just a worn out freighter that needs put out to pasture. Perhaps some up and coming CMDR might be willing to purchase her for a fair price, and if not, I'll take her out behind the local gas giant and put a few cannon shots through her hull and put her out of her misery. My eyes are set on a Defender, and Trundholm had her day. Anyways, I can hear the maintenance crew starting to slack off already and there's still two crates of collector limpets that need loaded on Chance before I can depart. Duty, and relaxation/profit calls..