Where was I? Oh yeah, guts and lust. Sure, a great combination, no doubt about it.
I'd returned from my first real trip in the black. Can't say I'm a better man for it, or a better pilot. I got my ship home. Heh, that's rubbish. My ship got me home. She's a better human than I am, for sure, but I think I treat her right and I ain't complaining about her holdin' air on a daily. I spent some deep pockets on makin' her jump like each throttle-up is her last. Damn near 80LY in one hit. Scoop the ol' Neutron and, well, you do the math.
I swear I'll get to the point. Or maybe I won't. Turns out I like just shootin' the shiz with you. Appreciate you readin' no matter.
I got home. I didn't exactly retire the big Annie, but she's a pig in Super and nigh on impossible to dance with on high-G rocks. She cuts a hole in the air, that ain't no lie, but I didn't build her with finesse in mind. You could also say I missed the point of exploration. Damn, I wasn't exploring, I was travelling. Big difference. Get there, get back. See the thing, cash the reward. But I got the itch. You hear about that? If you'll allow me.
You either get the itch or you get the scary's. The itch is the easy one. You go out, see your soul in the stars, come home and then, through the canopy, outside that mail slot, you hear her callin' you back. She wants you out there; the void. And hell, you need her too. So you go, you answer, you try to find her. But, you might come back with riches and a scar or two, maybe even another ship or 3, but you don't come back with her. Just the itch. The scary's. Well, that ones harder to define. Most don't come back. Thems are still out there, or dead, or worse. I think, some say even. I dunno. I seen them "Thargoids" up close. I run. I ain't stupid. Those big beautiful flowers; heh, well maybe it was them all along? Maybe they the scary's... but no, I think some folk call it "Space Madness". Can't say I can explain what that is exactly. Maybe the itch becomes scary? Maybe you DO find her.. and she hugs you so close you can't let go. Don't wanna let go...
I'm sat in her now. Wanderlust. The Phantom came on the market last year, 3304. A Krait variant of sorts. Same view, bigger jump capability but with kit on board at the same. She's a 60LY kinda girl; perhaps a bit more suited to exploring over travelling. I picked one up and gave her a bit of love here 'n there. No fancy paint yet, but them modules are only just hitting the market. Soon though, maybe if I come home.
I'd spent a couple months helpin' out here and there. My bank balance, heh, for one with some mining - another story I'll maybe tell you one day - and even fending off them 'Goid scouts here and there. But, well, I got the itch you see. A nervous itch. Jump 30', jump 11'... get home, look out that mail slot. Itch.
So I'm scratchin'