Elite roleplay: Citi Gateway

CITI GATEWAY

The Orbis station is a center of activity. Within the station a myriad of places can be found.
  • The Warrens: Where the poor plebs of the station live. It's is a breeding ground for the most unscrupulous. Keep an eye on your wallet when traversing the corridors of these areas.
  • Habitation Complex: For those workers and pilots that can afford it, this area provides closer to 1G gravity for more earth like living.
  • Commerce Divison: and Administration Where the larger corporations make their home. Station administration can be found here.
  • Industrial Complex: Where industry manufactures their various goods.
  • Entertainment: District Bars, theaters and night clubs, tattoo parlors and other establishments can be found vying for a commanders credits in exchange for a bit of fun.
  • Station Security: A high tech brig used to house law breakers until they can be tried, and or deported off station.
  • Medical Ward: Where commanders can get patched up, enhanced, or fix existing cybernetics.

General Roleplay Etiquette:

1. Control only the actions of your own character(s). (AKA: God Mode)
This doesn't matter how small the action is, even if it is as simple as scratching their nose or a direct reaction to something else that just happened. This applies to everything from casual conversation to full blown fight scenes. If you'd like someone to do something specific, PM that person, however keep in mind they are completely within their rights to say no. Especially if said action is inappropriate to their character and/or circumstance.

2. Don't brute force your way into another persons RP.
Approaching with a conversation starter is fine, or indeed some other small action. However charging in, guns blazing and disrupting the flow of another person/pair/groups conversation/arc is about as rude as doing so in real life. If something is going on that you'd like to participate in, be subtle about it. Put out a gentle hook for someone to take, but again, be aware that said hook may not be taken. If you fear it was simply unnoticed, PM the person or people it concerns. Or even leave a message in the OOC forums.

3. Good grammar and spelling is preferred.
We're not asking you to be perfect, but please at least demonstrate willingness. no1 iz gna tak u srsly usng txt spk. There's a wide variety of people here, many who speak English as a second, or even third language. There are even some with varying degrees of dyslexia and/or likely other issues that affect spelling/grammar. We accept them all here. However, people who aren't accepted, are those unwilling to accept polite correction. Remember that even a small thing like the placement of a comma, or the wrong use of there/their/they're can completely change the definition of an entire sentence.

4. Accept constructive criticism gracefully and politely.
If someone spots an issue with your writings, they may wish to help you improve that writing. They may do this through PM or even publicly air their thoughts on the OOC forum. If they have taken the time to be polite and explain what is wrong with your writing, the best way to behave is to respond in kind, using the same manner they have approached you with. It means they have taken an active interest in what you have written and wish to see more. Basically, you have a fan!

5. Don't take the actions or opinions of things done IN RP, to be directly relevant to the writers thoughts or opinions.
Basically, if some ones character calls your character a jackass, it doesn't mean the writer thinks you are a jackass. It's a ROLE they are PLAYING. Watch a movie. The argument between the characters isn't an argument between the actors involved. The same applies here.

6. It's not a popularity contest.
Your RP might be bustling with participants. You have 3 people off station in a fire fight, while another 2 are infiltrating the darkest areas of the station, meanwhile a group of 4 others are tracking your movements in an effort to stop you. Good for you, I'm sure it will be a thrilling read! But you know what? Sometimes the absolute BEST work, comes from two RP characters having a simple heart to heart. Both are valid, both are great, but NEITHER is categorically better than the other. Period.


Inara RP Etiquette:

1. Respect the setting and rules of the universe.
Inara is an Elite: Dangerous 3rd Party Tool. The RP Forums are set in the Elite: Dangerous universe. Elite: Dangerous has rules, as any fictional universe does from Lord of the Rings to Star Wars, or Game of Thrones to Star Trek. If you intend to RP within the Elite: Dangerous universe you are bound by the history and rules of that universe. Simply put, this RP forum is bound by the same rules as the game, so if it can't be done in the game, it is not permitted here. This applies to things from a 50Ly Jump Range on a normal, unmodified Sidewinder, to the destruction of entire stations.

2. Respect the characters created by others.
We have a wide variety of characters already here. It's expected that some will be similar, just as it's expected that two characters will be vastly different. Opinions of each persons character will naturally be varied, but all are valid provided they follow the rules of the universe. You are allowed to interact with, or avoid interaction with, any character in the RP forums. But you have no right to belittle others for their creation. You are not an authority figure on writing, nor are you directly affected by another persons imagination. You might not like it, but you MUST respect it.

3. Be caught up on current events before joining in.
You need basic things like character descriptions in order to interact with them. You also need to know what's going on in the surrounding areas. This is simply because the people you are hoping to RP with, might be gearing up to something that you might not want to be part of. Or simply that the most recent post, out of context, could leave a different impression on the goings on than if you gather that context. We don't expect you to read every single post from the beginning of the forums, just enough to get that basic understanding.

4. Either subscribe to, or frequently check, the Roleplay: Q&A and OOC forum.
People may be discussing something relevant to you there, or even discussing you directly. Perhaps someone asked what the general consensus on the existence or non-existence of a certain object. Or we're just chatting about random gibberish. Either way, be aware of it and use it. If you're unsure about something, such as how guns would look and or behave, or even the music selection, use the OOC forum to ask. We don't have all of the answers, but the collective knowledge and logic usually allows us to overcome an issue and come to a decision on what should be allowed. Frontier Developments, and even David Braben himself, don't have the answers to every possible question that can be asked.

5. Large Scale events exploding out of nowhere are a complete no go.
We get it. Everyone wants their character to be noticed and for people to be tripping over themselves to interact with them. In some audiences, an introduction involving you blasting in for landing in a fiery wreckage of a ship, before cart wheeling out and sword fighting 35 Ninjas before whisking off with the local celebrity for a glorious night of passion, is in fact, cool. This is not one of those audiences. It is generally considered better to build your character up slowly over time. Eventually, you might even have a legitimate excuse to fight those Ninjas. Maybe even with other RP participants by your side.

6. Perfect characters are boring.
The point of a character arc, is that it is in fact, an arc shape. One who is morally unquestionable, fully kitted out and an infinite fountain of knowledge, cannot go through an arc. Give your character flaws. Be it a tendency towards befriending the wrong people, or a bad knee that frequently gives out at inopportune moments. It gives readers something to latch onto and empathise with. You can give your character exceptional capabilities at something, but it requires balance. She's a damn good pilot with no equal, but can't drive an SRV for peanuts. It can lead to some very interesting moments between characters, be it heartfelt or comedic.


Other Notes:
It should be noted that there can be exceptions to these points. For example, good grammar when a character is speaking is actually rare. Few people in real life actually speak with perfect eloquence after all. Or previously arranged actions during a fight scene, such as someone stumbling back after a punch. What's key to remember is context.

All in all, remember this is purely for fun. We have some seriously talented writers here, and others whose writing history starts and ends at high school. But many are willing to help out in whatever way they can. All it takes is that you ask nicely.

Also keep in mind that many people who RP here, also have logbook stories related to the character, or characters, they portray. If it looks like there's an "in joke" going on that you're unsure of, it's probably in those.

In fact, some users have even gone to the trouble of creating "alts" to RP with. If you read back far enough, it's usually pretty clear who has and hasn't, and which ones are the "alts". It's therefore not unheard of to see the apparent seizing of control of other characters. If you do spot one, point it out in the OOC section. If intervention is needed, it will be sorted quickly and (hopefully) politely.

Most, if not all RP participants here have Logbook stories pertaining to their character(s). These are for the reading pleasure of anyone who wishes to do so. While it can be useful to read them in order to gain a bit of backstory on a character you wish to interact with, it should not be assumed that your character shares that knowledge. Within the E:D Universe, these Logbooks either don't exist, or are private diaries kept by the characters. Either way, without explicit statements to say otherwise from the writer, your interactions should reflect that your character is in the dark about any information you, the writer/reader, have gained from reading the stories.
07 Aug 2023, 6:09pm
"Better... I don't... know. Not for sure."

I lay down flat on the bed as well, not bothered to stay seated when it wasn't necessary.

"Lights are going to stay as they are. We're not exactly sleeping... yet."

A sigh escaped my lips.

"I prefer separate rooms to sleep in. Especially after ..."

I'd lost track. What had we been talking about before now? I remained silent for a few seconds, trying to remember. My body shook at remembering my reaction to the noise, and what had created the grounds for that response.

"You know that part about the station destroying the Thargoids was a lie."
07 Aug 2023, 6:30pm
"Well... It's certainly better now, I guess. Not yet completely okay, but... Ah. This stuff will fade away eventually."

I tried to stretch, but my hands pressed against the wall as I did so, and my feet were already on the opposite edge of the bed, can't go any lower if I don't want to have them hanging in the air. Uh, those standard beds. So I ended up placing one my forearm onto the head and another one above it.

"And don't worry, rooms next to ours are empty, so I can go and sleep there if that's more comfortable for you."

I made a pause before returning to the more obvious topics.

"Hmmm... What part exactly? Yeah, stations still can't stand their massive assault, you have to evac... But if we're talking about one or two of them... Hell, they know I'm on the station. In case of a handful of them appearing, they might just notify me, and I scramble ASAP."

Decided not to continue the 'station defence protocols' line, I wasn't sure it was something she wanted to hear, despite the fact it was exactly about giving the civilians more time to escape or drawing the fire from the station, depending on the odds and numbers.

"But you can't deny that a big starport is definitely more... Stout. Than a single ship."
07 Aug 2023, 6:58pm
I shook my head.

"You know what I mean. I've seen what they do. Fought them. Seen Hydras tear through local defense forces like they didn't exist. If they came here ..."

I shuddered, and stopped pursuing the thought. Assuming I didn't freeze and become completely unresponsive, I could likely make it to my ship before things became ugly, and escape with only a scare and some scrapes on the hull, if the port was attacked, anyway. Not that I wanted it to be - now, if the station were to come under attack again, its remaining - or current - inhabitants would face a fate far worse than death.

"They knew it was... me." I stopped, using my wrist computer to check for cameras. Negative result. "I can understand them. Maybe it was just... coincidence ..." I stopped. It certainly hadn't felt like it was. "It's just wrong. Every other report of those... things... stealing people, never mentions anything happening to the pilot. But they shut my ship down... came looking... it was on purpose. I know it was."
07 Aug 2023, 7:21pm
"Yeah...", I sighed. "In case of a Hydra attacking the station we should run for it first. I can deal with one, though, but they're rarely seen attacking something big alone."

I remembered what level of devastation just one of them can cause. Really don't want it to happen right now. Even if I can dance with several of them, going totally defensive, buying time... There's nothing I can do if they're determined to attack the station and cause casualties.

"The pilot... Hm. Maybe they know pilots are usually armed," I rubbed my forehead silently, "Doesn't explain your case though. We're yet to research these things. Back there, in the hangars, I hooked up Marshmallow's transmitter to the station equipment, to upload my data, and even with that help, it may be still in process."

Opening the remote access application on the communicator, I looked at the progress.

"Yeah... Still just a bit above 50%. So... It might take days for researchers to figure out their behaviour and common action patterns. Though... I still think it's a coincidence of sorts. Like, they're going for passengers. But, sensing something unusual... They decided to take a look. Sadly, I think there's a little difference between taking a look and what they usually do to humans."
07 Aug 2023, 7:51pm
“I… didn’t say I would fight them. I used to, could take on Basilisks, sometimes Medusas… didn’t immediately lose my ship to Hydras if I kept them busy… but… it became too much. I don’t know if it was me, or that… thing… in my head, but I hated having to kill them.”

I sighed, not willing to go into that subject, or the idea of the cortical implant potentially influencing some of my thoughts and decisions.

“But… at the same time, seeing those… people stealers, or whatever, I don’t just want to sit there, and …” I fell silent, unable to figure out how I wanted to express my feelings on this internal conflict, which I had been unable to resolve for months. “… I can’t pull the trigger on them without conscience, even in defense of others, or myself. Even now, when they are pushing the line just like we did with them.”

I closed my eyes.

“I don’t know if I want to keep evacuating people either. Not like this, when they… I don’t want them to take, them. I don’t want to be accused of doing it on purpose to support the Thargoids because of …”

The sentence was never finished, but it didn’t need to be. There was enough context and information available to figure out what I was trying to say.
07 Aug 2023, 8:12pm
"I understand..." I nodded automatically, then realised she can't see me anyway. "That's the xenophobic nature of humans, again, I think. Powered to the overdrive levels by the war. And you know that every war is more than two armies fighting each other and nothing else."

Thought... Maybe I should dive a bit into my personal history to let her know why and how I understand it. Not just understanding the words, but their meaning, what's hidden beneath them.

"That sucks, you know. The less people know about you the better, especially if it's something you can probably be shunned, judged or even hurt for, looked down at, and so on, and it wasn't your fault or even your conscious choice. I grew up in the system on the Fed outskirts, you probably know they're quite... Backward. And bigoted. So, hiding was a skill I had to learn in my teens. But... That isn't related to what we're talking about now. A bit of my past to let you know that I understand... Some meaning of your words, beyond the plain text."

It was always interesting, even if saddening at the same time, for me to see how going through heavy, adverse things may make people understand each other better, even if their cases are different.

"You don't have to do it either. And... If you don't know what to do, what kind of future do you want, what to do with all that 'life' thing at all, if you think that... You're just being carried by the current, to some unknown place... Maybe those questions, those internal conflicts obstruct your vision. Maybe you should get to know who you are, what kind of person you are, first, in order to find some place to apply your efforts later."
07 Aug 2023, 8:52pm
I scoffed at the idea.

“If I had any idea where I’m going, would we be here having this chat?”

The question was rhetorical in nature, so I didn’t expect an answer to it, instead folding up my arms under my head, resting it on both hands, looking straight up at the ceiling.

“I’m not sure I’ve had a purpose or goal since I was tossed out into… all this.” I wanted to gesture outward, designating the world, but it wouldn’t have been visible to anyone besides me anyway. “Thought I was fulfilling some kind of dream to explore space. Always wanted to. Quickly realized this wasn’t all as great as it was made out to be, but it’s all so made to keep as it is that it feels impossible to change anything.”

I sighed.

“And now look at me. Used by others for their own ridiculous ambitions, nearly killed for it, and turned into some weird half-human, half-Thargoid… thing. Continuing to be turned into it, I guess …”

A short pause followed as I took a deep breath.

“I thought about it. Just… going there. To them. But I realized… I don’t want to go back. I don’t want them to finish whatever they started on me. It’s just a feeling, but… it’s like whatever they were doing wasn’t finished. Not that I know how I would’ve gotten away from them. Or they did it on purpose to use me as a spy, or… I don’t know.”
07 Aug 2023, 9:27pm
"Phah, of course..." I chuckled slightly. "It might take years to fully get to know who you actually are... I'd say, some people may live their lives and become old, whilst still not having an answer to that question. Though... You know, all those... 'Normal' people, they don't even need that deep connection with their minds most of the time, as I think. They conform and embrace general goals and ideals many times easier."

"And... Not having a slightest idea about your purpose is a common thing. Like, mostly, people have childhood and youth years to develop their personalities, get to know what the world actually is and what they might want to do in it... However, if..." I let out a long sigh. "If you've been tossed out somewhere, with your memories erased, in your early 20s... Or surviving and defending, with a threat of slow and disgraceful death looming over you 'til your 29... Things are getting more entertaining. And by 'entertaining'," I said that word with an excessive amount of sarcastic spiciness, "I mean 'your head is full of shit you want to get rid of'."

"Thinking of yourself as of someone... Tainted, worthless, broken beyond repair is fairly common, you're not alone in this. Though common doesn't mean lookalike. Elements are personal and ways to sort things out are personal as well, there are no 'standard programme' or something..." and I changed my voice from plain and factual to something more soft and quiet, "Imagine a tree. Covered by vines crawling all over it. They twist, tangle, intertwine, wrap around the tree, you pull one, but others help it to stay in place, you can't remove them one by one. And, if they attack the tree when it's still young, it may grow up bent, misshapen, fighting the vines instead of growing straight up."

"You probably already guessed what I'm talking about and what that metaphor means. Removing the vines is difficult, and you have to fix the tree after it. Trees are neither social nor conscious, but if they were, being a bent tree in a forest of intact ones wouldn't be quite a pleasant experience. Thankfully, our minds aren't made of wood..." and I giggled softly again, "no matter how tenactiously some people try to make me think they actually are... So, those neural and cognitive things are fixable. Though, it takes time. You can't fix things that were been continuously damaged for years in a week."

I let out a long exhale.

"I don't think that implant thing affects your thoughts and intentions... Though, over time of living like that, you may start to believe in it. Or in that unfinished business hypothesis. There's even a scientific explanation of how does it work... Thing is, we see those twisted vines there. Your self-view, your exhaustion, your overall discomfort allow that thought to appear and stay in your mind longer than it possibly should. And... That's... Dangerous. If you ask me."
08 Aug 2023, 3:15am
I sighed. I didn’t know what to do with the flood of information I’d just been given. I knew it to be true, but struggled to comprehend and get my head around it all properly. A long period of silence followed as I just lay there, thinking. Eventually, I spoke up again.

“I just… I never asked for any of this. Not to be a part of this war, of this shitty world, to be used by powers I could not influence and have my life subverted, even be turned into something that isn’t quite human anymore, on a biological level. I never got a chance to build what I wanted from it, and this… I was never a ‘normal’ person to begin with… but this goes too far.”

I let out a frustrated sound after another few seconds of silence, from pent-up anger and frustration, that yet never seemed to go anywhere when vented.

“Might as well just be my whole life at that point. Even is, in a way. People thinking I should, or expecting me to be something else than I am. Living a ‘normal’ life doing mundane things got boring, even doing what I wanted, but I didn’t expect to land in the middle of a shitstorm with humans pissing off aliens many times older than they are. Then I tried to work with that, only to not really be needed anywhere that matters.”

I sighed again. The subject of my family was like a giant elephant in the room, but I didn’t even remotely want to touch that mess, in both ways. Hardly any memories remained of that time, but those that did formed a clear enough picture in my head that I hated them, for many good reasons.

“Is it too much to ask for my life to not be complete chaos from start to finish for even just one moment?”
08 Aug 2023, 10:36am
"Yeah... I know what that is. I thought the same through the most of my life. Like, I never asked of any of this chaos. Looks like, adapted over time though, on my own, but... Nobody's giving me that time back. Not getting any younger, you know."

I sighed. Those matters of years lost and life mercilessly going forward were still heavy to me, still no 'position of peace' for me on that field. And, comparing to other questions, this one was relatively new, still not processed properly.

"Those people who ask you to do what you cannot... May I ask you, are they important to you?" I made a pause here, to let the question settle in her mind better. "Like... You said you stopped talking about your problems with random people. But seems like some of those who know about, and whom you didn't dismiss from your life, still can't understand you properly."

Total darkness was making things... Different. It's easier to talk and listen in the absence of light and pictures in front of your eyes, but sometimes I used gestures to emphasise something. Right now, I wanted to spread my arms, but that would be useless.

"All this... Chaos. War. All these turbulent times... They're still something new for our comprehension. They brought mayhem and disorder in billions of lives. Though, I understand your disappointment. Still trying to find a way to... Live. Somehow. At least start to. And then, another force-majeure stuff you couldn't actually predict."
08 Aug 2023, 10:57am
“I don’t care about anyone that doesn’t care to try to understand what I am, or need. Not anymore.”

The reply was firm, determined. It had to be stated, if just to make it clear where I stood.

“And anyone that does is… I don’t know. Gone, or moved on. More of the former than the latter. I never reconnected with whatever life I might have had before… now. Or this. Not that it was much better. I barely knew or cared for anyone. It was mostly just myself, and whatever ship I happened to be in.”

I decided not to go into the initially unsuccessful relation I held with Aisling however long ago it was now, or that nothing much happened with that after I returned, either. It was either not the right thing for me, or I just needed another few years before I could accept letting anyone that close - as close as my sister was - ever again. If I ever would be able.

“I guess… me and Seo got along. Kind of. I’m not sure how to describe a relation that exists almost entirely because we’re going through almost exactly the same thing.”

No mention to any other feelings that existed between us, or at least from my end. I had no way of telling if they were actually reciprocated or not.

“So… speaking of that, or her, I guess, those idiot fanatics worshipping the Thargoids gave me one of their ridiculous names too. The ‘Acolyte’, they called me.”

I scoffed at the idea.

“Had to look what that meant up to be sure. Something about being an ‘assistant’ or ‘follower’ to someone, usually in a religious sense. Guess it kind of makes sense, but it’s still dumb. Not interested in being worshipped. Imagine if I’d been on the Dedicant instead of here.”

Part of my mind was hung up on something that I’d been meaning to say, but couldn’t quite remember what. Perhaps it had come out of my mouth in some form without me realizing. I also began to feel a little more at comfort, now, and felt an odd sensation of wanting to snuggle up to somebody, feel the warmth of their body, but there were only two people in the galaxy whom I knew I would allow this with, so I kept the feeling to myself, simply imagining what it was like.
08 Aug 2023, 11:19am
"And that's a good, right position to hold on to. As far as I know," I agreed with Kasumi's statement.

"And... I know what that means," a thought I already had earlier, but couldn't remember if I vocalised it or not. "This is saddening indeed, but I'm quite surprised how going through adversity helps people to understand each other better. Especially if it's something similar. As I said, you can recognise more than a plain text, those feelings and thoughts beneath the words... You know them. You know what this person is talking about."

I tried to stretch on the bed again, unsuccessful of course, but still being horizontal was the best thing I could think of.

"Reconnecting with your past... Sometimes you have to think, like, do you need it or not. Can you actually say the journey will be worth the effort, or not. It might be difficult as is, due to... Memory failures I described yesterday. And, if that past wasn't exactly positive, and you have more memory issues, connected to the things bothering you right now... It's your call, but I think now isn't the best time to do so."

Spent some time thinking on her words about cultists.

"The cultists... They're... Deluded. As much as any other cultists of different types. It just happened that way, they worship Thargoids, and Thargoids are all the news these days. I won't be surprised if there are some people, far above their top ranks we know of already, who enjoy a luxury life in a relative safety, grabbing the profits. And pulling the strings. Gah. Humans being humans."

Then, to finish that part of the dialogue with something positive, I added, "Still, it's always wonderful to find a person who understands you. Feels like a treasure, a treasure it is actually. In the depths of human stupidity."


Last edit: 08 Aug 2023, 11:26am
08 Aug 2023, 12:28pm
“I already tried to… ‘reconnect’ with it. My past, I mean.” I changed my pose to have my arms resting crossed on my chest. “Some old logs that seem to have survived until now. They didn’t tell me too much, but I found a location. Don’t really remember what happened, but it’s just a crater now, surrounded by ruins. Nothing I have any attachment left to, or good memories of. But that goes back to even before I started to fly my first ship. And I wouldn’t want to be reminded of it anywsy.”

I decided to leave out the part where those same logs stated I was responsible for that crater, and that there was a grave not too far from that same location.

“You know, Seo and I, we… well, turns out we have more in common than just a thing in our heads that connects us to the Thargoids. We both haven’t really reconnected with our past too much, if for different reasons. I hardly remember any of it, but for her… well… it’s because of Azimuth. Afraid that they’d use those people against her. I honestly don’t know if the risk I pose to people is worth having around. What if they… tried to take someone to use against me?”

I sighed.

“Here’s what really pisses me off. That bastard Salvation, thinking he has any right to decide the fate of an entire species, for one. Or that he thinks he needs to be alive even more past his due, with that dumb Nemesis thing. But Azimuth, too… they’re just so… I don’t know. Something makes me want to see them burn. The way they claim they had nothing to do with that stupid superweapon, the Alexandria, Project Seraph… then go on to claim they are so great and fancy to make profit off of the war, while showing that they have not changed at all for those who care to look closely.”

My voice had gone from a regular tone to a spiteful, almost angry one over the course of that statement, but now returned to normal, if sounding disappointed.

“This whole war is just a giant piece of… greed-driven nonsense, I guess. Politicians being the idiots that they usually are, and human stupidity. What reason did we have to start claiming someone else’s territory as ours, think their advanced resources and technology that we barely even understand should be available to and belong to us, and then declare war on them when they defended themselves?”

I sighed again.

“Whatever. I know the answer already anyway. You know what bothers me more?” Another pause. “You say the implant doesn’t affect my thoughts, but looking at what I went through, wouldn’t it make sense if I hated the Thargoids? But I don’t… I don’t know. Maybe I’m just one of the humans that has two braincells to piece together and doesn’t just hate someone that is not a human only because they’re not.”
08 Aug 2023, 1:30pm
"Hmmm... I was trying to say more about your past before all that Thargoid and Azimuth stuff happened, since those events weren't actually something you'be been able to control, and recollecting them... I doubt it might give something useful to think about now. However, I might not know something important and I make mistakes due to it."

"Anyway, I doubt that's something you want to talk about now," I added, realising that it may be both uncomfortable and pointless, at least for now, to dig up memories of the long gone past and dwell on them.

"Regarding to you, Seo, and what happened to you both... Why do you think... Ah, I may say I know why do you think that way, those self-view things I told about previously... So. Azimuth can go fuck themselves, literally. With any piece of Thargoid or Guardian technology they see fit. But... Nothing of that is your fault actually. Azimuth are deranged, inhumane maniacs, they must be stopped, and Alexandria accident had cemented their position on the war criminals list so solidly they cannot be exonerated now, not in any way. And you... You don't have to take responsibility for their further actions. To put it simple: don't blame yourself for something you cannot control."

Ah, that was a rabbit hole. Negative self-view and all subsequent, relative ideas and conclusions, up to straightforward suicidal behaviour, can take months of analysis even before it will be possible to address them properly. Not to mention shutting them down.

"Fucking Azimuth is the flagship of making this war a greed-driven nonsense. Hell, they started it. And xenophobia is socially normalised now. Goddammit. I serve in AXDF, but I joined a year before the war started, and we're in precarious situation now, we defend people, civilians, but we don't attack first, except for counterattacks in already ongoing battles. That was a good approach to minimise the fighting. Our pilots weren't involved in that super pooper weapon accident, our command knew we shouldn't. But now... I can't predict where all this is going. Especially if new recruits hate them simply because everyone else around hates them."

I made a long-drawn sigh. These days, future was even more unclear than it usually is.

"To hate or not to hate... People usually have shit tonnes of reasons, explanations, justifications for their hatred. Sometimes it's even, kind of, looks right and you cannot blame them. Though, it's natural not to hate. Especially, for something that was neither a fault nor a choice. Such as being born a Thargoid."
08 Aug 2023, 3:42pm
“I don’t know. Sometimes, I find it difficult to figure out if I’m really still thinking of my own accord. Or how much of my brain is still mine, and how much of it is the hive.”

I breathed out audibly, not sure where else to take the conversation. Family, their unfair treatment of me, and all the things surrounding my sister was not part of my ‘willing to let slip out’ list.

“Anyway, how does some sleep then back to the bar sound? Assuming anyone else is there. Also have some footage of that new Thargoid if you want some. Including involuntary combat experience - minus weapons, that is.”

I still felt a shudder run down my spine, thinking back at the encounter.

“Actually… do you… have any of those pills? I’d rather… not have any nightmares. Or try not to.”

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