Akilan Me, Sam
14 Aug 2024Parker Reyes
Well, would you look at that. A trip to the backwater planet of Akila with the charmingly dysfunctional Coe family. Who knew treasure hunting could be so... entertaining. Apparently, Sam Coe has a daddy complex the size of a small moon. And his old man? Let's just say he's got a firm grip on the concept of 'family business'.Of course, I had to step in and handle the situation like the absolute paragon of diplomacy that I am. A little intimidation, a touch of menace, and voilà! The old man spills his guts. I'm starting to think I should open a 'conflict resolution' business on the side.
So, there you have it. Another day, another dollar. Or, in this case, another ancient artifact and a front-row seat to a family drama that would make a soap opera look subtle.
...
Well, the adventure continues to be a rollercoaster of questionable decisions and even more questionable company. After the delightful family drama on Akila, Sam and I decided to venture into the great unknown, or at least what passes for the great unknown on this dusty rock.
Naturally, I was more interested in the local flora than potential threats. I mean, have you seen some of these alien plants? Real potential for a new line of biofuel, I tell ya. Sam, ever the voice of reason (or so he thinks), tried to warn me about the dangers of this desolate wasteland. As if I needed him to tell me that.
Then, of course, we had to have a run-in with some of those Ashta creatures. Seriously, who designed these things? They're basically bullet sponges with anger management issues. And Sam? Well, he had the audacity to give me that 'I told you so' look. As if I needed his brilliant insight.
Our next stop was a charming little bandit camp, just as a sandstorm decided to roll in. Talk about hospitality. We cleared the place out faster than you can say 'yeehaw', only to find the artifact hidden in a conveniently placed cave. Of course, the local boss lady, Shaw, wasn’t too thrilled about us stealing her treasure. She tried the whole intimidation thing, which was about as effective as a kitten trying to scare a bear.
The ensuing chaos involved a healthy dose of gunfire, a few too many Ashta casualties (seriously, these things are like cockroaches), and a moment of pure badassery when I skewered one with my electric blade. It was a glorious moment, until I realized I'd inhaled a sandstorm's worth of dust.
Back on the Frontier, the ship's medic informed me I've got a new best friend: oxygen. Seems the sandstorm was less than kind to my lungs. So, here I am, grounded and bored. At least we got the artifact though.