Elite roleplay: The docks

THE DOCKS (Dockyards)

The Docks is where all pilots berth their ships. It is the first place that pilots find themselves upon landing their ship. Docking and launching is controlled by the Citi Gateway’s Traffic Controllers while each individual dock is controlled by a dockmaster and a team of orange clad dock crew workers.

The Docks is a sparse and desolate, 0.1G environment, littered with service vehicles, cranes and landing pads. While cool, the air is dry and lightly filled with the smell of burnt metal and ship grease. Public Service Announcements blare across the the docks reminding all pilots of station regulations. The docks contain 45 individual ship docks, several warehouses storing massive tank of hydrogen fuel, and standard shipping containers of cargo, the dock’s traffic control tower and the local pilot’s market which resides in one of the warehouses.

Ship docks
Each specific dock has a landing pad, a ship hangar and adjoining terminal. In each terminal there is a passenger waiting area, the dockmaster’s control tower and several dock crew vehicle bay.

Warehouses
If the docks were already unpopulated, warehouses would be completely vacant of anyone if not for a small handful of security staff. Warehouses are completely automated and highly guarded facilities as they contain massive amounts of valuable and flammable material.
"Loitering is a crime punishable by death" - Station Announcements

Pilot's Market
The pilot’s market is best described as a tourist trap for pilots. Every person who’s not a pilot is trying to guile a pilot to part with their credits.

"The station administrators would like to remind all pilots that transactions in the pilot’s market are not protected by Citi Gateway or The Bank of Zaonce" - station announcements

General Roleplay Etiquette:

1. Control only the actions of your own character(s). (AKA: God Mode)
This doesn't matter how small the action is, even if it is as simple as scratching their nose or a direct reaction to something else that just happened. This applies to everything from casual conversation to full blown fight scenes. If you'd like someone to do something specific, PM that person, however keep in mind they are completely within their rights to say no. Especially if said action is inappropriate to their character and/or circumstance.

2. Don't brute force your way into another persons RP.
Approaching with a conversation starter is fine, or indeed some other small action. However charging in, guns blazing and disrupting the flow of another person/pair/groups conversation/arc is about as rude as doing so in real life. If something is going on that you'd like to participate in, be subtle about it. Put out a gentle hook for someone to take, but again, be aware that said hook may not be taken. If you fear it was simply unnoticed, PM the person or people it concerns. Or even leave a message in the OOC forums.

3. Good grammar and spelling is preferred.
We're not asking you to be perfect, but please at least demonstrate willingness. no1 iz gna tak u srsly usng txt spk. There's a wide variety of people here, many who speak English as a second, or even third language. There are even some with varying degrees of dyslexia and/or likely other issues that affect spelling/grammar. We accept them all here. However, people who aren't accepted, are those unwilling to accept polite correction. Remember that even a small thing like the placement of a comma, or the wrong use of there/their/they're can completely change the definition of an entire sentence.

4. Accept constructive criticism gracefully and politely.
If someone spots an issue with your writings, they may wish to help you improve that writing. They may do this through PM or even publicly air their thoughts on the OOC forum. If they have taken the time to be polite and explain what is wrong with your writing, the best way to behave is to respond in kind, using the same manner they have approached you with. It means they have taken an active interest in what you have written and wish to see more. Basically, you have a fan!

5. Don't take the actions or opinions of things done IN RP, to be directly relevant to the writers thoughts or opinions.
Basically, if some ones character calls your character a jackass, it doesn't mean the writer thinks you are a jackass. It's a ROLE they are PLAYING. Watch a movie. The argument between the characters isn't an argument between the actors involved. The same applies here.

6. It's not a popularity contest.
Your RP might be bustling with participants. You have 3 people off station in a fire fight, while another 2 are infiltrating the darkest areas of the station, meanwhile a group of 4 others are tracking your movements in an effort to stop you. Good for you, I'm sure it will be a thrilling read! But you know what? Sometimes the absolute BEST work, comes from two RP characters having a simple heart to heart. Both are valid, both are great, but NEITHER is categorically better than the other. Period.


Inara RP Etiquette:

1. Respect the setting and rules of the universe.
Inara is an Elite: Dangerous 3rd Party Tool. The RP Forums are set in the Elite: Dangerous universe. Elite: Dangerous has rules, as any fictional universe does from Lord of the Rings to Star Wars, or Game of Thrones to Star Trek. If you intend to RP within the Elite: Dangerous universe you are bound by the history and rules of that universe. Simply put, this RP forum is bound by the same rules as the game, so if it can't be done in the game, it is not permitted here. This applies to things from a 50Ly Jump Range on a normal, unmodified Sidewinder, to the destruction of entire stations.

2. Respect the characters created by others.
We have a wide variety of characters already here. It's expected that some will be similar, just as it's expected that two characters will be vastly different. Opinions of each persons character will naturally be varied, but all are valid provided they follow the rules of the universe. You are allowed to interact with, or avoid interaction with, any character in the RP forums. But you have no right to belittle others for their creation. You are not an authority figure on writing, nor are you directly affected by another persons imagination. You might not like it, but you MUST respect it.

3. Be caught up on current events before joining in.
You need basic things like character descriptions in order to interact with them. You also need to know what's going on in the surrounding areas. This is simply because the people you are hoping to RP with, might be gearing up to something that you might not want to be part of. Or simply that the most recent post, out of context, could leave a different impression on the goings on than if you gather that context. We don't expect you to read every single post from the beginning of the forums, just enough to get that basic understanding.

4. Either subscribe to, or frequently check, the Roleplay: Q&A and OOC forum.
People may be discussing something relevant to you there, or even discussing you directly. Perhaps someone asked what the general consensus on the existence or non-existence of a certain object. Or we're just chatting about random gibberish. Either way, be aware of it and use it. If you're unsure about something, such as how guns would look and or behave, or even the music selection, use the OOC forum to ask. We don't have all of the answers, but the collective knowledge and logic usually allows us to overcome an issue and come to a decision on what should be allowed. Frontier Developments, and even David Braben himself, don't have the answers to every possible question that can be asked.

5. Large Scale events exploding out of nowhere are a complete no go.
We get it. Everyone wants their character to be noticed and for people to be tripping over themselves to interact with them. In some audiences, an introduction involving you blasting in for landing in a fiery wreckage of a ship, before cart wheeling out and sword fighting 35 Ninjas before whisking off with the local celebrity for a glorious night of passion, is in fact, cool. This is not one of those audiences. It is generally considered better to build your character up slowly over time. Eventually, you might even have a legitimate excuse to fight those Ninjas. Maybe even with other RP participants by your side.

6. Perfect characters are boring.
The point of a character arc, is that it is in fact, an arc shape. One who is morally unquestionable, fully kitted out and an infinite fountain of knowledge, cannot go through an arc. Give your character flaws. Be it a tendency towards befriending the wrong people, or a bad knee that frequently gives out at inopportune moments. It gives readers something to latch onto and empathise with. You can give your character exceptional capabilities at something, but it requires balance. She's a damn good pilot with no equal, but can't drive an SRV for peanuts. It can lead to some very interesting moments between characters, be it heartfelt or comedic.


Other Notes:
It should be noted that there can be exceptions to these points. For example, good grammar when a character is speaking is actually rare. Few people in real life actually speak with perfect eloquence after all. Or previously arranged actions during a fight scene, such as someone stumbling back after a punch. What's key to remember is context.

All in all, remember this is purely for fun. We have some seriously talented writers here, and others whose writing history starts and ends at high school. But many are willing to help out in whatever way they can. All it takes is that you ask nicely.

Also keep in mind that many people who RP here, also have logbook stories related to the character, or characters, they portray. If it looks like there's an "in joke" going on that you're unsure of, it's probably in those.

In fact, some users have even gone to the trouble of creating "alts" to RP with. If you read back far enough, it's usually pretty clear who has and hasn't, and which ones are the "alts". It's therefore not unheard of to see the apparent seizing of control of other characters. If you do spot one, point it out in the OOC section. If intervention is needed, it will be sorted quickly and (hopefully) politely.

Most, if not all RP participants here have Logbook stories pertaining to their character(s). These are for the reading pleasure of anyone who wishes to do so. While it can be useful to read them in order to gain a bit of backstory on a character you wish to interact with, it should not be assumed that your character shares that knowledge. Within the E:D Universe, these Logbooks either don't exist, or are private diaries kept by the characters. Either way, without explicit statements to say otherwise from the writer, your interactions should reflect that your character is in the dark about any information you, the writer/reader, have gained from reading the stories.
12 Jun 2023, 3:49pm
Silvia’s message reached me as I was on the edge of sleep’s embrace, but reading it told me she was either busy not getting massacred by a dozen Thargoids, or tried to keep details short to avoid suspicion.

So I didn’t answer it, and simply instructed the carrier’s crew to keep following standard operating procedures toward external pilots, and make the jump out look like routine. I doubted that whatever goons were after Creamy and the man with the coat would bother playing it sneaky and try to dock, but they’d find themselves denied if they tried, as I only allowed access for squad and approved pilots anyway.

Any forced access attempts would make them quickly meet the wrong end of its guns, as would firing at certain ships within the vincinity. Though I hoped it wouldn’t get that far, I suspected the chances were high. As were those of the Thargoids giving chase out of the Maelstrom system. I made sure to relay the message I received from Silvia to the bridge crew as well so they could prepare.

“EDI?”

The AI’s hologram popped up. “Yes, Kira?”

“If anyone decides to come knocking on the ship, don’t be afraid to up the volume on the alarm. If those pirates decide to come say hello, and not be friendly, they’ll meet a shotgun.”

I quickly peered at the suit and the weapons next to it - though I always kept the plasma pistol close at any time, today seemed like a good time for some additional safety. But if the pirates behaved, so would I.


Last edit: 12 Jun 2023, 6:06pm
13 Jun 2023, 2:48am
A slight hint of fried electronics still lingered in the cockpit of the Always Lost and mixed with the smell of fresh hotwork from plasma welders having repaired portions of the interior bulkheads. Vasil sat in the pilot seat, the smells reminding him that the air scubbers had not been on the priority list of items to be repaired.

“Welcome aboard,” said Jefferson, lighting up the controls and HUD.

Vasil patted the arm of the pilot seat like its was an old, loyal hound that had come over and rested its head on his leg. “Jefferson, how’s our gal doing today?”

“Sorry, Commander, I do not understand the query.”

Vasil sighed. “Ship status, Jefferson.”

“All systems functional, but not at optimum operating efficiency.”

Vasil expected that, having ordered only the minimum repairs necessary to make sure the Always Lost could reach Cemiess. “Jefferson, verify compliance with required Imperial safety standards and Cemiess system safety standards.”

“All systems meet minimum Imperial safety requirements as well as supplemental safety requirements for station access within the Cemiess system.”

Vasil looked through the ship’s module status. The power plant was generating only three-quarters of its normal output and it was maxed out, but nothing looked different from what the Port Engineer had reported about the reactor needing to be overhauled in a proper yard period. To avoid stressing the reactor, Vasil started shutting down unnecessary modules until power use was under 60 percent.

“Okay, Jefferson, secure the ship. Set secondary and tertiary internal spaces to emergency power only.  Request departure window from station control.”

Jefferson acknowledged the direction and a few seconds later an automated AI voice from flight control replied, “Sierra Charlie Foxtrot One Charlie, you have been cleared for a departure window between 1535 and 1540.” A fifteen minute countdown time appeared on the canopy HUD to alert Vasil when the departure window was open.

He knew that he could not avoid returning to Cemiess now, especially since Octavia had agreed with his plans and designated him as the final arbiter of any contracts the family was to enter into. “Time to go” he said, giving voice to his thoughts.

“Not for another fifteen minutes, Commander.”

Vasil closed his eyes, jaw tightening in mild exasperation. “Jefferson, shut up.”
14 Jun 2023, 2:21am
I needed a break from this place. I'd intended to let myself wind down a little by coming here, but between the previous day's events, from the armed man just pointing guns at everyone for no good reason, to nearly getting caught up in a completely unrelated vendetta of a pirate lord, and then the - unrelated - nightmare that ensued, I was just about where I'd started out a few days ago. If not off worse.

My implant was reacting rather negatively to it too, as if it responded to the state of my mind and body in some way. It felt almost 'exerted', in a way, and it made the headaches originating from it even worse. Another motivator for the decision I had taken, so that I could avoid it triggering some kind of blackout in the middle of a bunch of people, or just while I was doing something important. Especially the former, since I didn't want to explain why standard medical equipment just didn't work with the Thargoid tech in my body.

"So much for a few days off without shitty stuff.", I quietly remarked, to myself, mostly, then looked up. "EDI, request launch clearance from station control. We're leaving."

"Understood.", the AI replied. "Where are you planning to go? I may alert the carrier's crew."

"No need. I'll come to it. This ship isn't currently fitted for any kind of longer-distance travel, anyway. I'll decide where to go once I'm there."

'Not that the other side of the Bubble is a long distance, but I can't be bothered to fly to a station for refuelling every time.', I added in my thoughts, and had the ship go topside, also preparing a message for Silvia while I waited for clearance.

Hey.

Not sure where you've gone off to after your adventure into the Maelstrom*, but I'll be leaving the station for a day or two. Maybe a few. So don't expect me to be around there. You ever need help with anything, feel free to ask, and I'll see if I can do anything.

- Kasumi(maybe I'll tell you my real name some day... or maybe not, I quite like this one too)

*I'd have helped more than sending the carrier but was too tired, and really didn't want to get involved in any fighting. And I really don't want to be shooting Thargoids up again.


I hit the send button, then realized that I now had launch clearance, and quickly took the lumbering Cutter out of the mail slot. A ship with pirate markings ran a scan, then ran off when they found nothing of interest, and I was out of the system a few seconds later. I had two plans in mind, but only one of those would really help other people, and the war effort, without furthering casualties on both sides, so I set my mind to it first. The other could wait until I was done with that.
21 Jun 2023, 5:38am
I reach the hangar in which my battle damaged Challenger sits. As I walk up the boarding ramp I place my right hand on a severely corroded panel observing the damage. Letting my hand slip away I continue up into the ship. Celeste offers a cheerful greeting.

"Greetings Commander. Where are we heading next?"

I pause for a moment and close my eyes, thinking of the possibilities.

'Celeste set a course for Sol, Earth, Rocky Mountains. It's time to go home.'

"Certainly Commander. Plotting course."

I reach up close the boarding ramp and proceed to the captains quarters. I pull out my data pad and pick a video from the first time I met Willow. I let out a long exaggerated sigh then compose a message to Willow.

Willow,

Where do I even start? I suppose the truth and the beginning. You know my story and how I was captured, and I remember you had something similar happen to you. When we met that day, it sent a spark off inside
that I thought was dead. I don't remember any of what happened to me but I remembered you. I thought if I tried to play it off like I didn't remember I could make a better impression than the first time. I was very wrong.

I shouldn't have lied to you about Melli when we met a second time. That's not what friends do. Well I guess it's the best time to say this while I'm here. Melli is an experimental creature like no other. She has a neural implant of my own design in her head and I have the clone of it in my head. They are modified language chips allowing us to understand eachother. I have had Melli for between 3 and 4 years now. It's hard to gauge now that I have a large chunk of time missing.

Look I really just wanted to say I'm terribly sorry about how things went the last time we met. I was out of line. I get it if you don't want to see or hear from me again and I won't bother you more if that is the case. I'm heading home to work on myself and try to be better. If you are ever in Sol, stop by Earth, I'd love to show you around my home. Hope the crew is taking to you better.

See you around,

Silvia


I press send on the message and head out to the cockpit. I take a seat and request permission to launch.

'Citi Gateway this is Lakon Sierra India Lima requesting permission to depart station.'

"Lakon Sierra India Lima, Permision Granted. Fly safe Commander. Please return soon."

I line up my challenge with the mail slot and give the thrusters full power. I hit the boost and rocket out into the great unknown. I line up with my first jump destination and engage my FSD. With a single look back at Melli sleeping soundly I blip out of Inara in hopes to settle my mind back at home.
21 Jun 2023, 11:34am
The Cutter dropped out into real space near the station, and I transmitted a docking request as soon as within the appropriate range.

Once the docking computer engaged, I took time to observe. Lights were on in another section, increased heat signature. Likely meant a reactor had been powered up inside, if unlikely to be the main one.

‘Making progress. Good for them.’

As soon as the ship landed, I informed workers of its cargo, sending it into the hangar at the same time. I left it after getting out of the suit I wore normally, running into a dock worker while still on the pad.

“Back again already?”, they asked me. “Barely been a week.”

“Place is a convenient stop when I’m done running people out of a war zone or getting caustic burns on my suit from those drones while I recover items in lost settlements.”, I replied, then pointed back to the ship with my right thumb.

“The usual. Full load, standard rates. Not that ridiculous payout the authorities think they have to provide, just to have basic supplies brought in by pilots.”

“You’re still an odd one.”, the dock worker then told me. “Most pilots wouldn’t even think of delivering without that. What makes you so different?”

“I have two braincells to put together, and some common sense. People here have it bad enough without getting extorted for basic necessities and construction materials, let alone anything more. And I don’t just want to appear here without doing something to help things get along.”

That was all I had to say on that. I moved past the dock worker to head further inside - I wasn’t in the mood to throw something up for myself in the ship, so I’d find something to get in there.

“Be careful in there. Not sure all those crazy pirates and the bounty hunters that followed have left yet.”, the dock worker warned me. “‘specially with the way you look.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.”

That was the only non-annoyed response I had to wearing a concealing hood, and the idea that I possibly wouldn’t be able to get even five minutes of calm inside. Once off the pad, I began to think where to go.
24 Jun 2023, 5:20pm
Having been called back from my sabbatical in order to try and put my mind at ease and give my body a break I drop into the Inara system and make my way to Citi Gateway. Station management asked me to take an extended shift in the Galactic, due to Creamy being unavailable with him dealing with Vengerfield and some unfinished business. Apparently the management team knew he wouldnt be returning any time soon so they contacted me. It felt weird giving up my profession in the xenobilogy field but I felt like it was time for me to find something less dangerous. I dropped into the airspace of Citi Gateway and proceeded with standard docking protocol.

"Citi Gateway this is Lakon, Sierra India Lima, requesting permission to dock."

"Welcome back Ms Sharpe. You are cleared for docking. Please proceed to pad 20. I'll inform the Shift management of your arrival."

The flight traffic controller called over comms and I proceed into the station. Rangers' corroded hull was definitely a sight not too uncommon these days, especially around this region of the bubble. I had decided to leave the damage from the recent conflict as a way to disguise the ship when traveling through Inara due the presence of Vengerfield's pirates scanning ships in attempt to locate Creamy to bring him in to their boss. However even with the damage to my ship they still decided to scan me on my way into the station.

As I touch down and Ranger is pulled down into the hangar I make my way back to the captains quarters and grab my suitcases. 1 containing clothes and the other containing items for Melli to keep her occupied and happy while I am working what would essentially be a double shift at work. We stepped off the ship and headed to The Galactic.

As we reached the elevator out of the hangar I stopped and ran back to Ranger. While I didn't expect anything to happen I certainly did not want to be on shift and away from my ship without my weapons and a set of armor. I grabbed the rifle and pistol, placing the rifle and a can of ammo with 6 mags into my suitcase and proceeded directly to the bar.
24 Jun 2023, 7:13pm
An announcement can be heard in the hangars from the Citi Gateway portal

"Come join us in the Galactic, tomorrow, to Celebrate all the hard working souls attempting to get this Station back to its former Glory."

"Food and Drinks will be provided free of charge to patrons, courtesy of an anonymous donor."
24 Jun 2023, 9:05pm
An announcement can be heard in the hangars from the Citi Gateway portal

"Come join us in the Galactic, tomorrow, to Celebrate all the hard working souls attempting to get this Station back to its former Glory."

"Food and Drinks will be provided free of charge to patrons and staff, courtesy of an anonymous donor."

"Sorry for the possible confusion"
26 Jun 2023, 7:08pm
*is sitting at the desk in the ship’s private cabin, brooding over some internal turmoil, then begins to write a message*

Silvia,

Kasumi here. Need to talk about something. Come see me in my ship when you have time, today or tomorrow.

Imperial Cutter, bay 25. Try not to be followed. And don’t talk about Willow unless you want me to dump hell on your head.

Who am I kidding, you’re going to ask anyway. Just get here when you can. It’s important.
26 Jun 2023, 10:56pm
Disclaimer : Potentially upsetting content for some. Take your mental health seriously, for yourself and the people around you.

The terminal pinged with a message from Silvia, which I quickly started to read.

Kasumi

Hey uhm I'm going to have to decline for the time being. I am working doubles and have no real time available currently. We will have to wait unitl my shifts are over. Find me on shift change day and we will discuss it then. Sorry I just dont really have a say in this one.



Reading that response felt like a turndown to me, regardless of what it actually meant, partly colored by my mental state. So was my response, too.

I didn't mean... like, come by at your time... oh, whatever. Just don't bother. I'm not worth your time. Or anyone else's for that matter, since the only person who didn't immediately turn me down was you.

Just continue with your work or whatever. Not like there's anyone left to care if I just disappear. The galaxy certainly hasn't given me any reasons not to.


I hit send without a further thought, and looked at the bed. Then the room itself. All of it stunk of high Imperial decor, and I hated it, but I never bothered to change it either. Sleep wasn't particularly attractive, nor was getting up and out of the ship to do something. I didn't even know why I was at this terminal, not doing anything with it.

So I just remained in the chair, mind dwelling on dark thoughts, while I felt tears start to form in my eyes. The pistol, technically there if anyone tried to break in, was beginning to look rather tempting, and so was the key to take off - both for the wrong reasons.


Last edit: 27 Jun 2023, 12:12am
01 Jul 2023, 12:28am
Sensitive content warning.

I sat at the desk of the personal cabin of the Imperial Cutter again, eyes red from crying almost all the time for several days, bags under them. I hadn't eaten anything for at least two days now, only barely putting down enough water to prevent complete dehydration, and still have leftovers to cry. I wasn't even sure how there were still any tears left in my body.

It didn't matter now. A rare moment of being collected, but only because it would be the last. I began to type a final message.

Silvia...

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I tried to do it. To wait, hold on. But it's too much. I can't hold it out any longer. By the time you see this, it will probably be too late.

Goodbye.


My right finger hovered over the send button, but never committed. It moved away, my gaze falling on the plasma pistol laying next to me. Easily mistaken for a Manticore Tormentor, but nothing like it. Smaller, firing faster projectiles with less punch, at a higher rate. Despite that, an unshielded target would still fall to a single shot to the head.

I picked it up, and stood up, moving to the center of the room. Incoming comms and locator beacon were off. All I needed to do was hit the launch prompt, send the ship out through the mail slot. Set it to drift, turn off all systems, and purge the atmosphere. Then, a simple pull of the trigger. At the back of the head, to destroy the implant, preventing any chance of it bringing me back again. Nobody would find me, not until it was far too late.

"You've been my companion for all these years. Will you be my end, too?", I whispered to the weapon, carefully running a hand along the barrel.

I couldn't... I screamed in anger and despair, throwing the weapon to the ground, then ran into the bathroom, already feeling more tears running down my face, sealing the door behind me. The terminal remained on, with the unsent message freely readable on it.

---

As the door to the bathroom shut, a message was sent to Silvia to alert her.

Hello.

I am Kasumi's intelligent assistant on her ship. I wish to alert you in this message, as she has not been well these last few days, and appears to have exchanged several messages with you recently. She has not left her personal cabin nor the station since Tuesday, and I have reason to believe she has neglected her well-being.

I am afraid she has not eaten anything since, and may cause herself harm, or worse, based on the attached log. My cameras in the room have been disabled, as have incoming comm systems and the locator beacon. I am unable to reactivate them, and chose to lock down ship controls for her safety, but there are no android bodies onboard for me to take control of. Access to the ship has been granted already.

Please check on her. It may be urgent.

Attachment
Kasumi_log_27_06_3309
01 Jul 2023, 4:15am
Continued from the bar

I rush into hangar 25. Melli trailing behind her little mag boots clattering along the hangar floor. I dash up the boarding ramp, deactivating my mag boots allowing myself to practically launch myself up into the ship.

'Where is she?!'

"She is located in the captains quarters. She has sealed herself in the restroom. Any attempts to communicate with her have failed."

I acknowledge the COVAS and head to the captains quarters. Having spent many months on Venus' cutter navigating the ship is no problem. Melli rushes to the room ahead of me. She reaches the door and begins to scratch at the door.

I rush into the room and approach the door cautiously.

'Kas..... I'm going to need you to open that door. If you don't I'll be forced to cut it down. Melli find me a plasma cutter. We might need it.'

Melli darts out if the room to search for a plasma cutter. I approach the door and tap lightly letting Kira know I am standing just outside.
01 Jul 2023, 8:23am
A knock on the door, preceded by a low, calm voice.

“Go away! I want to be alone!”

I continued to cry uncontrollably after shouting back, sat on the floor, hands held to my head while my knees were at chest height, with no intention to open the door. In front of me lay a combat knife, waiting to be used, along with the painkiller from Silvia that still had a charge left in it.



Outside, EDI - the AI construct on the ship, built around the COVAS framework - finally worked around some of my blocks in the system, reactivating the speakers in the room to speak to Silvia.

“If I may, I have bypassed some of Kasumi’s locks on the system and can open the door. But she may not be pleased to see you.”


Last edit: 01 Jul 2023, 8:31am
01 Jul 2023, 12:11pm
'She doesn't have a fucking choice here.'

A deep part of me wants to kick the door in but I refrain for the time being. Melli returns with a plasma tool and places it at my feet. I pat her on the head as I take a seat on the floor.

'Kas you....... fuck this.'

I kick the door open and grab Kira by the arm not giving her a chance to react. I drag her over to the bed and toss her onto it. I call over to the ship construct.

'Lock the ship down. No one in, no one out. Seal this room off and lock the door to the bathroom.'

"Certainly. Ship lockdown initiated."

I turn to Kira who is crying uncontrollably and now laying in the bed seemingly confused by me handling her so rough.

'I am going to be real fucking blunt here. A bullet to the head, a knife to the throat, or whatever mad idea you have conjured up isn't the way to handle this.'

'You need to tell me everything and you better start quickly otherwise I'm drawing you to a psychiatric ward. I've been in your shoes I know what this is so don't try to lie.'

My tone is both annoyed and concerned. Melli having watched me basically man handle Kira puts herself between the two of us and sits on Kira's lap snarling at me. I snarl back and bare my teeth to the creature and in a stern tone speak directly to Melli.

'Who the hell do you think you are?'

Some chattering from Melli as if to say calm down.

Silvia calm. This one is friend.

I relax a bit and take a seat on tone of the chairs in the room.

'Fine. Well Kas we are locked in her until it is deemed your mental health is in a safe place.'
01 Jul 2023, 1:05pm
I've been in your shoes I know what this is so don't try to lie.'


I took a few moments to recover from the confusion and shock, pushing whatever was sitting on me off so I could sit upright and pull my knees up to chest height, as if forming a defensive curl. The only reason I let it go without a response being my poor overall state. Whichever part of my mind was just about functional suddenly caught on to part of what had been said.

“No! You don’t understand! You don’t know what it’s like, living with unbearable pain for months, with the only way out of it being to make the connection worse, constantly in fear of being discovered and outed, or found by Azimuth’s assholes!”

My shouting was still interlaced with uncontrolled sobbing, hardly caring that who I was shouting at was a friend. Or supposed to be, at least.

“Even after I tried to be open about it, people just thought I was insane, or pushed me away because I was ‘different’ and not ‘normal’! Or worse, asshats that thought I was just trying to make myself important! Like I would fucking lie about… this!”

I held up my right arm, where the remains of the ink-branding ‘H-7’ were clearly visible near the wrist, for those who knew what to look for, forming white scar lines that stood out even on my pale skin.

“What’s so wrong about me wanting to be fucking done with it all? No one cares! I get fucking idiots telling me I have an overinflated sense of self-importance when I just needed someone to fucking talk to, or they just ignore me because they’re out of their minds and need a ‘perfect fucking human’, not a person!”

“This is all Willow’s fault! If she hadn’t rejected me for not being a ‘normal fucking human’, when I told her about it, I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t …”

I fell back into the stupor-like state where I could barely do anything but cry, or act at a very basic, subconscious level, as a result of the memory, beginning to feeling ashamed for how terrible I looked in front of Silvia.

I didn’t want her to be here, having to look at me being broken, vulnerable, a crying mess that could barely form coherent sentences or comprehend anything said to her, let alone think straight. I had let some of my personal hygiene suffer as well, my hair looking completely messy and greasy, no hood to hide it in what was a personal space.


Last edit: 01 Jul 2023, 1:10pm

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