Elite roleplay: Q&A and OOC
11 Dec 2016, 7:54am
My View
I don't know if it was obvious or not, but I'd initially started her off with the intention of being a 'villianous' character. With Marras announcement at Semi Retirement I took up a personal challenge to create a character that I've never done before. (Not to replace Marra obviously, but to hopefully fill the void that would be left in some way.) Having always played the good guy, an 'evil' character is outwith my confirt zone but I feel she's grown more complex than that.
This is where you come in. I'd like to know if anyone here would take her seriously if she was to descend further inbto darkness, or if she just needs saving from her personal demons. Or even if in following her RP or Logbook stories, you found her inconsistent. Any feedback is welcome so long as it's constructive. Luke was an easy character for me to make, he's my cookie cutter character no matter what game I play, and I wouldn't be surprised if people found him a bit boring.
But I'm serious about Lilith. I want critique here, good or bad. If you don't feel comfortable posting it publicly, PM it to me. I promise, here, in front of everyone, that even if you tear her to shreds and write her off as garbage, I will not harbour ill feelings towards you. If I start swearing at you over PM you can tell everyone here what a D***head I was and chase others away from me.
The current RP story she is involved in is drawing to a close, so I'm asking for the critique now as the next portion is really going to be a continuation of the logbook entries. The direction they take, will be influenced directly by the opinions and suggestions of you lot. (That's not to say I'm going to do exactly as I'm told, I just mean that there's no point in asking for critique if I'm just going to ignore it...)
Thank you in advance.
P.S. If at any point I'm coming across as a needy little brat, someone feel free to tell me... I appreciate I have posted several of these sort of statements and requests and while I assure you it's just to help better my writing, I can appreciate that it might irritate some people.
11 Dec 2016, 11:08pm
Just scroll back several pages in the Bar, or Citi Gateway...
11 Dec 2016, 11:10pm
- Is English your native language?
- How old are you?
11 Dec 2016, 11:12pm
M. LehmanIf it's okay, may I ask a few questions?English is my native language and I'm 13 years old *still in 6th grade but after the school year I will be in 7 grade
- Is English your native language?
- How old are you?
11 Dec 2016, 11:17pm
11 Dec 2016, 11:19pm
I think that it's really great that you're interested in creative writing, and I'm sure that you're trying to become as good at it as you can. Since you're still learning and in school, you might want to have a book or two by you so that you can look at how things like dialogue and sentences are structured. Getting into good writing habits might seem tough and not worth doing, but it really helps you in the long run!
11 Dec 2016, 11:21pm
11 Dec 2016, 11:26pm
If you're feeling shy, I accept private messages for help (just not tonight, for the above reasons. Sorry again). I will gladly proofread your posts.
For now, what I tend to do, is this:
"This is how to write a sentence someone has spoken aloud." He said, sternly but not angrily.
*I hope he gets the message clearly and doesn't take offence.* He thought to himself.
These aren't concrete rules. But I've not heard anyone complain as of yet.
11 Dec 2016, 11:32pm
"This is how to write a sentence someone has spoken aloud," he said.
I hope he gets the message clearly and doesn't take offense, he thought to himself.
There are a few handy writer's guides to which I refer often. Here's one that talks about how dialogue is properly structured, and here's the other half that deals with derailing a story with overly descriptive terms.
Last edit: 12 Dec 2016, 12:02am