As long as I may recall, the Black fascinated me. The endless void between the stars, cold and mind-numbingly vast, neither hostile nor welcoming just...indifferent. You may live out there, wash ashore on one of its small bright-burning islands and you may find ethernal beauty - or a lonely and gruesome death. The Black has it both and does not care who or even that you are and what it gives to you. Somehow, this gives me a strange peace of mind, rest to a restless soul. Of course, the lack of humans out there does its part, too.

So after being licensed by the Pilots Federation, I set my eye on the one ship I still consider the archetye of an exploration vessel, a Diamondback Explorer. Some contracts I am not proud of got me an Adder and a single haul of Low Temperature Diamonds, that makes for a good story by itself, got me in the position to buy and A-rate the Lady of Aros III. It still were the golden days in core mining back then.

After engineering her FSD to the max, I set out for Colonia, getting used to Neutron Boosting along the way. A terrifying experience when you do it for the first time. Colonia was kind to me, taught me much about ships, internals and systems - and about ways to modify them. However, I never brought it over me to disassemble the Lady of Aros III, no matter her shortcomings. For me, she is a symbol. A symbol of a dream - and of a journey that knows no end and no destination. And as such, I want to leave her.

But I build the Skia there. Lighter than the Lady, she jumps even farther - and she is cold enought for ice to form on her cockpit if you dont go too hard on the throttle. And it was with her I set out again, to Sagrittarius and further out, sometimes high over, sometimes deep under the galactic plane, putting my name on neutrons, earth like worlds and whole systems, earning my Elite wings along the way. Again, a time that formed me and taught me much...among many things also how to drop out in a jet cone and live to tell the tale.

But rumors of technological breakthroughts regarding space suits brought me back to the Bubble. The thought to walk among the stars, to set foot on some of the worlds I found - given I am not reduced to a fistful of Carbon the moment I leave the safety of the Skia - is just too tempting. So I will remain here for the time being, taking every opportunity to test this new technology till its last flaws are polished, making a living in the civilized (as far as this term may apply to anything human) systems. Then, my hope was to set out again. Back into the Void, once again a shade in the Black.

However, the arrival of Taranis changed my path. Honestly, I never cared much for the Bubble, or people in general, but now we have screamed into the Void, and for once, the Void has answered. To fight what we have awoken now, even a wayward explorer will dust off his old gauss cannons and - if it is true what they say about the Maelstrom systems - even his AX-racks and fly once more, weapons hot, to meet his fate against an enemy as merciless as the Black itself.

And our fate we met, indeed. They kept coming, glowing, screeching and spewing pure toxic death - and we kept flying, like the devil himself chased us. Well, after all he quite literally did.

Never have I seen such carnage before. We fought them around stations, over burning Starports and in the deep black, we evacuated whole systems, saved the wounded in their lifepods, while our beaten hulls were trembling under barrages of caustic missiles and phasing lasers. And they kept coming, for every system we defended, more were under siege, for every system we reconquered, more were lost - and for one man we rescued, hundreds fell.
But the ever busy engineers have found a way to damage, even kill the Titans and I was still fighting over Cunningham Depot when we recived word that Taranis was burning.

I do not envy those hotheads their well deserved glory - flying through a Maelstrom and bringing down a Titan is truly an outstanding feat. But somehow I feel it in my guts that we have not seen the end of this. As the Thargoid bridgehead, Taranis was always the most counteracted Titan - and therefore the least strong. The seven others are another story.

How I long to see the end of this. I long to be back in the Skia, far out in the Deepest Black. Or do I, really? When I met the first Interceptor, I did not even know what it was. I just turned tail and flew as fast as my Diamondback would take me. And wise I was, neither outfitted nor experienced enough. When I took the first down, my hands were shaking and I was sweating even in my Remlock. And now? Excert the heart, destroy the heart, take that thing down and the Scouts off your tail. I have a hard time remembering what I have done before. It all fades with always one battle behind - and one ahead. Are there things beyond the hunt? I am not sure anymore...

But there should be. Today I visited Jamesons crash site. After all that happened, Witcherly, the Prometheus Wave, the Titans, it just felt like it was due. After all, he went through a similar mess first... Besides, as my AX-Mamba barely jumps from one side of a star to the other it gave me a reason to fly my Diamondback again. Being back in its tiny cockpit just showed me how much I missed that old craft. Perhaps it is time to leave the rest to younger, more eager Pilots who care for, well, glory or whatever. I certainly do not. And honestly, with the battle of Shinrartha won, only two Titans remaining, I do not think I am really needed anymore.

But alas, word is that Zorgon has a new exploration craft under development and perhaps I should bide my time until I can take a look at it and decide if there is finally something that may hold a candle to my old Skia. Until then, its back into my new MKII and towards Cocijo...after Raijin's destruction the last one remaining. And the first one I have seen myself - something I will not forget in my lifetime. Those things are truly fascinating. Extremly foreign, dangerous, they evoke feelings of fear and...melancholy? I am not sure, but I have never felt so small, not even at Sagittarius, and that surely means something.

Things truly have changed. Today I flew over Okorafor Base, a surface port in the Ulcher system, hunting, and quite succesful - three Interceptors and I did not bother to even count the Scouts. However, I had to be extremely careful - not because of the Thargoids, even if those are still dangerous, of course, but mainly because of the sheer amount of AX-Ships around me. Now, after the destruction of Raijin, there is only one Titan left and what was once a lonely and desperate affair has become, well, crowded. Of course, that is a good thing. I may be old, but not old enougth to consider every forgone time as better than the present one - and we were truly miserable as all this started. But nonetheless, it is time for me to leave. Even if I will keep my Gauss-Cannons close, just in case...

The Mandalay, however, is a great exploration vessel. It has everything I missed in the Diamondbacks, a huge fuel scoop, speed, agility, truly impressing. But I will not leave my old Skia. When you are out there in the Black, alone for months on end, you have to fly a ship you truly love. Otherwise, madness will take you. You hear voices in Witchspace, echos in the scanners, see ghost in every shadow, every crater, beconing you, calling you like the Sirens of Odysseus...and this ship will be your only thing keeping you in this reality. If it cannot keep you, you will be creating your own...and the Mandalay - it does not speak to me like the Skia, it will not keep the ghosts outside the hull.