Russian pirates ate my entire family. I had to escape by fashioning a boat out of my grandfather's leftovers. In the New World I made some money by working in a bar, but then someone broke my jaw so I quit. Then in Paris I decided to become an artist (who doesn't?), seduced by the jubilance of Montmartre, only to discover a girl from Prague was where my heart lie. Sadly she was killed by an inner ear infection she got from cycling. So in Shanghai I found myself dealing in pharmaceuticals and ended up in prison. Joined the forces after that and became an officer, went AWOL when I thought I saw the girl from Prague and pursued her to Cambodia. Turns out she was someone else entirely. Never went back. Took over a snake fighting establishment after a cobra took a dislike to the owner and eventually got the money to buy a used laptop and a dial up modem. Now I play Elite.