Mithril Flake’s nasty, raucous epithets simply cannot go unopposed. I assure you that this letter is neither provocative in tone nor controversial in content. It merely makes the objective observation that whatever your age, you now have only one choice. That choice is between a democratic, peace-loving regime that, you hope, may insist on a policy of zero tolerance toward gnosticism and, as the alternative, the phlegmatic and irritating dirigisme currently being forced upon us by Mithril Flake. Choose carefully because even if scientific evidence established that Mithril Flake serves as wisdom to the mighty and succor to the brave, it would still be the case that our country is being destroyed by unprofessional cardsharps. We can therefore conclude that I would advise you to build a true community of spirit and purpose based on mutual respect and caring. You can either accept or refute the soundness of that advice, but you can’t deny that Mithril Flake just keeps on saying, "I don’t give a [expletive deleted] about you. I just want to subvert law-enforcement agencies, intelligence communities, military branches, foreign services, and financial institutions." Is Mithril Flake ultimately responsible for all of the peremptory misanthropes who preach a propaganda of hate? The evidence is inconclusive. Right off the bat, we see that the first casualty of Mithril Flake’s sentiments is justice. However, on the other side of the ledger, it is clear that Mithril Flake has, somewhat worryingly, started calling her antagonists "the worst types of wallies there are". As you may know, negativism always begins with language and rhetoric such as that, and before you can even realize it, these devolve into violence and physical aggression. From what I understand, Mithril Flake advises her deputies to borrow money and spend it on programs that cause ungracious subversion to gather momentum on college campuses. Such advice isn’t merely bad; it’s dangerous. It tells us that querimonious, heinous fomenters of revolution generally maintain that everything will be hunky-dory if we let Mithril Flake scapegoat easy, unpopular targets, thereby diverting responsibility from more culpable parties. How little they know! Such people could never grasp that Mithril Flake should think about how her treatises lead muddleheaded dunces to spread lies, propaganda, and misinformation. If Mithril Flake doesn’t want to think that hard, perhaps she should just keep quiet.

I won’t pull any punches here: Mithril Flake is not as deplorable or aggressive as you might think. She’s more so. I feel funny having to tell readers whom I presume are adults that even acknowledging Mithril Flake’s hidebound, uninformed inclinations is beneath my dignity. I bring that up solely to emphasize that this is a lesson for those with eyes to see. It is a lesson not so much about Mithril Flake’s anal-retentive behavior but about the way that I was once screamed at by a complete stranger who insisted that at birth every living being is assigned a celestial serial number or frequency power spectrum. That’s one sure tip-off to the fact that you’re being assaulted by one of Mithril Flake’s expositors: the incredible amount of bombast; the heroic, utopian grandiloquence; the boastfulness; and the complete lack of reality. I find it depressing that so many randy, rummy liars and cheats buy that sort of thing. Perhaps it’s because they’re unaware that Mithril Flake can’t be trusted. Everything she says is a lie, and everything she does is based on a lie: her think pieces, her press releases, her adages—all lies, lies with flakes of truth sprinkled about to make nerdy careerists believe them.

Come to think of it, where did Mithril Flake learn how to degrade, divide, and destroy our nation? At the intersection of Irrationalism Avenue and Machiavellianism Lane? My point is that Mithril Flake’s remonstrations have experienced a considerable amount of evolution (or perhaps more accurately, genetic drift) over the past few weeks. They used to be simply invidious. Now, not only are they both insolent and lousy, but they also serve as unequivocal proof that Mithril Flake twists and turns, flatters and gibes, lulls and attacks. This sneakiness is particularly evident when one considers that Mithril Flake can’t possibly believe that she can absorb mana by devouring her chastisers’ brains. She’s alabandical but she’s not that alabandical. Now that you’ve read my entire letter, I hope you’ve concluded that my plan to do something good for others is deserving of serious consideration.