"Y'know, as a pilot, I can barely do jack shit. I'm incompetent as all hell. Ask literally anyone that has been with me for a couple hours or something. They'll all reply with something along the lines of "He starts shooting me for no damn reason!" Or, "That bastard took all the opals for himself, AGAIN!" But the thing is, I'll get the job done. Most people usually tolerate my shenanigans because of the quality of my services. Want a couple thousand tons of slaves shipped from one side of the bubble to the other? Sure, I'll do it, but I'm gonna keep some for myself so I can reform 'em into society again, you asshats. Just fuckin' kidding ya, not like I care. Need some guy pestering you dead? I won't recommend you check the obituary after I get the job done. A prime example would be when I first got Whale Phallus. I know, I know; don't ask. Back then, I named her the 'Diligence' because that was basically how I was when I was doing whatever I was doing; a man of my word; diligent 'til death. I did a lot of stuff people would consider immoral in her. One of my more atrocious jobs was going around blowing up funeral barges, making sure that even the ejected escape pods get turned into space scrap. Even went out of my way to collect a guy out there myself, and shot him in the face with his own .45. Sometimes, whenever I close my eyes and drift off, I can still see the aftermath as clear as day."

 That's what I usually tell people whenever they ask me of my past, or how I'm as successful as I am today. What they're not aware of, however, is that they were talking to my past self. With the help of my friends, and a fuckton of Old Earth Mnestics , I've managed to collect a lot of details of my past that I should've frankly forgotten, but through all those atrocious crimes against humanity that I've committed, I have become a stronger person. Having every small detail of my past plastered into my head is repentance for my sins. No kind soul should frankly ever see what I did to become successful. This is why I hate us humans, because whatever is in our genes, allowed us to do such things.

 But, I have discovered a way to help myself push through these hard times. Belfast. I paid around 189.---.--- Credits for an AI, a body and lifetime insurance on it. It costed me more than what you'd pay for a Corvette at [REDACTED - INFORMATION ACCESSIBLE AT 'ELITE' RANK]. But trust me, she's worth all the money. She's better than any single thing you'd ever use out there. I even hired the guy who programmed her to help me out with configuring new things into anything I have! Belfast is practically my love interest, my ship, my whatever-good-in-me exists left, she's it. Wakes me up, helps me sleep, docks my ship, manages my finances, cooks ACTUAL FOOD (some good shit too not gonna lie), represents me at contracts and diplomatic missions, gives me head in zero-g, and even kills anything, ice-cold and precise. What more could I ask for? Fuck, I've technically already retired as a Commander, she does all the work for me now! Even flies my own fuckin' ships, like, praise be; sitting on a billion credits because a dick-sucking robot can fly better than I do is one helluva piece of information to live with, I gotta say so myself. Although the technology would probably be considered 'ancient,' by today's standards you probably wouldn't be able tell it apart from a real human unless you remove the 'Living Silicon' subcutaneous substance that feels exactly like what a human's muscles and skin would feel like. Under all that fancy stuff is an Old Earth private military contractor's best produce ever, the IOP Endoskeleton & Wisdom Cube (AI Manifest computer) connector, and with all those things combined with the expertise of the person who gave Belfast 'life,' I have a reason to do shit again. It's something I cannot explain, like how some people drink paint. But trust me, if you went through the shit I did, you'd completely understand me.




 What the fuck am I going on about? I don't know anymore. So, what're you going to do, just stand there and stare at me like I'm an idiot? Hire me already, for fuck's sake!