Logbook entry

The Liftoff [4a Supplemental]

06 Dec 2015Kurotama
[4a Supplemental]

I'd only visited Sol once since I left. Five years is five years and always a day too many.

As much as I wanted to land someplace on Earth and walk into my old home like nothing had ever happened, I couldn't. Even if I touched down on the opposite side of the world and crawled all the way back to Japan, I'd always be afraid that someone would be watching my every move.

It was the day they took Misaki when I disappeared. Came home in a panic after getting a message from Saejima to get back as fast as I could. Looked for her, found the place turned inside out. A struggle, some blood had splattered the wall; looked like she refused to go quietly but to no avail. Stood there dumbstruck. Had no idea how long I'd been standing there when Saejima himself came in and grabbed me and shook me to my senses.

He was shouting in my face but I couldn't hear him over the blood rushing in my head. Was some time before I got a hold of myself, just enough to make out what he was saying. He shoved a small bag into my chest, telling me to get to the spaceport right away; he was stowing me away in a Hauler to get to Lincoln, then one hop after another to get me out of Fed space.

Couldn't remember much of those fifteen hours between Osaka and Tanegashima. I was in a haze the whole time; standing still, watching my thoughts warp in and out. Was she safe? Should I storm the Nakano-kai, demanding they give her back or face the consequences? Was I wrong to run? Was I a coward for doing this? Should I wrench the wheel from this old guy's hands and turn the car around and bulldoze my way back to Osaka?

And the one thought I dreaded: was she even still alive?

But nothing was clear, and before I knew it I was at Tanegashima Spaceport being handed off to yet another one of Saejima's contacts, and quietly escorted through back doors and silent corridors to a rusty old Hauler.

By that time I'd given in to the present. Nothing else I could do. I knew they were using Misaki to destroy me, but I'd only end up killing us both if I tried to fight back with nothing in my favor.

As I boarded I noticed I still had my white ring.

Their white ring. Wanted nothing to do with them anymore. Had to find a way to finish this.

Took it off and tossed it as far as I could, to the edge of the treeline lining the tarmac.
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