A Gourmet’s Guide To The Galaxy – Part One
22 Jun 2018Cernig10
The holo-show kicks off with a montage of rare foods and drinks, all laid out on a trestle table atop a snowy white tablecloth. Over a jaunty tune in a quickstep time, you hear, “We’ve all heard of the many rare foods, drinks and other gourmet items the galaxy has to offer, but what do these rarities actually taste like? We sent our roving connoisseurs out to report back with tasting notes, pairing suggestions, and sample menus. This is the Gourmet’s Guide To The Galaxy.” The show’s logo is in gold cursive script, floating in midair with a smaller “A Richman Media Production” just below. The view shifts to a busy space station street, curving away rapidly as the circular thoroughfare follows the coriolis force of the station’s spin. It must be in the up-market area of some large and fairly rich station, because the street is wide and high, sparkling clean and with planters every few dozen meters. A young woman steps into the field of view, prettily brunette and dressed in the latest fashions. She smiles at the camera. “Hi, I’m Penny Richman, socialite and bon-vivant. I’ll be your host as we journey through the delicious offerings our galaxy has for the discerning palate. I’ll be joined by a man who knows the trade routes that bring those wonderful foods to every corner of the bubble, billionaire shipping magnate Jack Cernig-Dix. Here he is now!”
She turns, a pirouette of alluring grace in a saffron designer dress and shoes, as an aircar taxi pulls up at the kerb and a balding, grumpy looking man of wiry build gets out. He’s dressed in Imperial business clothing, cravate and brocade jacket over slacks and flat-heeled leather boots. The girl places an air-kiss near each cheek in greeting, which elicits something close to a smile from the trader. “Jack!” she gushes, “So nice to meet you! Now, I hear you know quite a bit about the rare commodities trade and I also hear a whisper that you’re a bit of a gourmet. So, what I’d love would be if you’d be my guide through the galaxy as we sample all the amazing foods and drinks the cosmos has to offer. Where should we start, darling?”
The trader, obviously working from a script and more than a little stilted in his delivery, points behind her. “Well, we’re right outside one of the best restaurants in the sector, Penny, the Turir Grand Hotel’s four-star rated 'Sapphire' diner. I happen to know the chef, so shall we see what’s cooking?”
The camera follows the unlikely pair as they pass through a revolving door, up a short flight of deep-carpeted stairs and into a large room furnished in sumptuous Imperial styling: rare hardwood panelling, cream marble striated by deep carmine mineral inclusions, gold inlaid crystal lamps and chandeliers. The room is filled with chunky wooden tables carved from single tree boles with clawed feet and scrollwork around the table edges, at which sit several examples of the richly dressed Imperial financial class, conversing quietly and enjoying their business lunches. A large man in chef’s white’s awaits their arrival, and his mocha-toned features break into a grin at their approach, a winking blue sapphire replacing one upper incisor. “Tony!” exclaims Cernig-Dix, clasping the man’s scarred hands in his own, far smaller, ones. “How are you, you old pirate?” For the first time, the older host of the show seems human, unwooden, warm. He turns to his co-host. “Tony really used to be a pirate, Penny. His ship was blown out from under him and he was bound into slavery. He’s worked his way up here at the Grand until they recognised his talent by re-naming the restaurant and making him head chef.”
Penny seems a little taken aback at first, but then her eyes turn warm and her mouth twitches into a winning smile. She extends her hand, daintily, and the big ex-pirate bends to kiss it. She actually steps closer before recovering and stepping away, turning so the camera catches her perfect profile as she asks, “So, Tony, we’re investigating what are known as the ‘rares’, those foods and drinks that can only be procured in one place in the whole galaxy and are fantastically expensive at any distance from their source. Can you help us?”
Tony chuckles, flashing the sapphire again. “For my old friend Jack and such a lovely, companion, of course! Come with me, please.” He leads the duo down a short corridor and through a swinging door into the restaurant kitchens. They bustle with the activity of Tony’s staff as the chop, blend, sautee and boil. Bright overheads make the stainless steel and ceramic surfaces gleam, spotlessly clean except where covered in ingredients being prepared. Tony sits them at a small, scarred table with a plastic surface in the corner, then turns to the camera as he takes his place at one of the stovetops.
“Here’s something we serve late at night, as a supper offering for our guests. We call it Grand Rarebit.” His hands flash as he grabs ready-prepared items in steel bowls, dumping them in an iron skillet. “We start with diced Ceti Rabbit, and a measure of whiskey, sautee that in the pan, then add juniper berries and let it sit for a moment. Then we add double cream and stir. A dash of balsamic vinegar, some chopped parsley and some ground peppercorns, then thicken the mixture by adding grated blue cheese.” His big fingers are surprisingly delicate as he sprinkles the cheese and parsley. Finally…” He produces two plates on which large rounds of toasted bread have been set. “Pour that over toasted bread, fresh from our ovens today, and garnish with a sprig each of Juniper.” He sets the plates in front of Penny and Jack, then produces forks and knives from somewhere. “A perfect late night snack.”
The duo try their dishes, Jack with obvious concentration while Penny takes one bite then squees with pleasure. “Oh my god, that’s sooooo good. Like, sweet and savoury at the same time! I could eat this after a good night out or an even better night in.” She chuckles suggestively.
“And to wash it down,” Tony continues, producing two snifter glasses of a rich dark amber fluid, “Our very own reserved Lavian Brandy, brought here at great expense and danger by commanders like Jack.
Jack lifts his glass to the light. “Good colour, almost no transparency.” He sips, and rolls the sup around his mouth appreciatively. “Oh, now that is lovely. It’s got a strong woodsmoke finish, lots of berry, and a wonderful hardwood varnish.”
Penny looks at him as if he’s talking a foreign language but sips delicately. Her eyes go wide. “Oh my, that’s a warm feeling,” she breathes. “I could get used to this, if I could afford it.”
Jack laughs, “Don’t worry, Penny, I can.”
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Taste Notes and Pairings
Lavian Brandy is best as an after-dinner liqueur. It should be at least 40 years old, matured in Terran oak casks, for best results. The liquor is dark amber, and should be too dark to see through clearly when held to the light. It should be drunk in sips and savored, not bolted down in shots. Roll the brandy over your palate, the taste will begin with bright overtones of freshly ground black pepper and honey, have voluptuous undertones of dark malt or caramel and brambleberry, then finish with smoked oak overlaying a smooth taste of musky tropical balsamwood topped with a hint of lemon. When heated to just under boiling, the liqueur should release the fragrances of lemon pepper, cinnamon and tropical flowers. If warmed, drink it from a Hutton Mug if you have one! Best pairings: Kamitra Cigars, Rusani Old Smokey tobacco, Yaso Kondi Leaf.
Aepyornis Egg or the egg of the Elephant Bird is over a meter in diameter, providing a veritable feast in a single package. Cooked soft-boiled or scrambled in the shell, which at over 10cm thick is often opened at the table with a handheld laser cutter, they are prized for their intensely eggy taste, translucent white and the sticky, gooey quality of their yolks. Decanted from the shell, they make a sublime omelet, perhaps with shaved Deuringas Truffles on top, or grated Mulachi Giant Fungus. The egg yolks are rich in anti-oxidants and triglyceride fats, and some claim them to rejuvenate the skin when used in a facepack. Best pairings: Saxon Wine, CD-75 Kitten Brand Coffee.
Ceti Rabbits are prized by many chefs for their exceptional meat, which is exceptionally light in taste, almost like free-range chicken but sweeter, while also being higher in protein and lower in fat than any other red meat. They can be cooked fricassee style, sauteed in butter with a mustard and cream sauce, or combined with sweet berries and hot peppers in a delightfully sweet and spicy stir-fry served over rice. Best pairings: Chateau De Aegaeon merlot wine, Wuthielo Ku Froth.
Sample Menu
We asked Marius P. Slacker, the famous Master Chef in service to Governor Lucas Boone of Turir to prepare us a simple but delicious brunch featuring these ingredients. Here for your salivation is what he offered, which he tells us is a favorite menu choice of the Governor and his family.
First Course: Aepyornis Egg and Deuringas Truffle omelet served from the shell, with toasted Wheemete Wheat Cakes. CD-75 Kitten Brand Coffee or Freshly Squeezed Orange Juice.
Second Course: A stir-fry of Ceti Rabbit, Neritus Berries and Ochoeng Chillies in a Lavian Brandy sauce, served over a bed of steamed Jaroua Rice with Diso Ma Corn bread. Wuthelio Ku Froth or Azure Milk.
Digestif: Fujin Tea or Void Extract Coffee, Yaso Condi Leaf hand-rolled cigarillos flavored with mint.