The Diary of a Space Scoundrel: Introduction
06 Sep 2018Seth Bradwell
“You said what?”“Princess Aisling is (gasp) nothing but a (choke) whore for publicity (slap) Owwwww...”
“Now, you are going to apologise for you most tasteless act of disrespect, or you might just end up in the next biowaste shipment!”
“Terribly sorry, didn’t mean to offend, please, don’t hurt me, actually she is a most esteemed woman, her contribution to ending the horror of slavery is second to none -”
“Okay, enough. Cease grovelling, and get out of my sight!” (thud)
One hour later…
“You really need to take it easy, you know, Seth.” Eugenie the bartender said to me.
“Can’t help it.” I said. “Making such disparaging remarks about the Empire really sets me off. Especially at this time of year.”
“One day you will pick on the wrong man, and then you will be in a whole load of trouble.”
“I have been ‘picking on the wrong man’, and indeed the wrong woman for over three years now.”
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Steven Horatio Bradwell, but you can call me Seth. I come from the Imperial frontier world of Nyalayan, and have been in the Pilot’s Federation for three years, making money doing the dirty work of others. Presently I seek work in the contract killing business, disposing of people who pose a problem for some noble (and not so noble) causes. As a side role I trade in various wares, collecting the bounties of those that dare to try and rob me of my rightful gains. Currently I am working with the Bakas Gold Council, a bunch of small-fry cut-throats in a small-fry part of the galaxy. Some days I get called on to off a local politician, or take down some hapless traders who were in the wrong place at the wrong time, but truth be told recently I have just been pushing messages to and from base, plus the odd smuggling run, and now I am bored. So I headed to Xuane for some R&R and to feel something resembling gravity after several weeks cooped up in outposts, only for some idiot nobody to start badmouthing Her Imperial Highness Princess Aisling Duval. Truth be told, I can’t stand the woman myself, she definitely loves the limelight, and all that business with that Rochester bloke was purely for the publicity I can tell you. I used to admire her naive idealism, indeed I took part in her slave liberation campaign two years ago, running freed slaves to Uibuth, but over time I worked out how incredibly vain she is, and how she uses the slave liberation cause to promote herself. However, publicity whore she may be, but she’s our publicity whore, in our Empire, and may whatever deities you believe in have mercy on you should you beseech us. Especially if you are in the arse-end of Federal space, like I am now.
“I don’t see why you get so worked up about it. I never would have had you down as such a passionate fan of the People’s Princess.” Eugenie continued.
“You can take an Imperial out of the Empire, but you can’t take the Empire out of an Imperial. I know she is far from the angel all the media makes her out to be, but ignorant outsiders who have nothing better to do than parrot back the Federal propaganda they have been endlessly spoonfed can go do one.” I replied indignantly.
“Come on now, if the Empire meant that much to you, you wouldn’t be out here in this backwater sector.” said Eugenie.
“I just feel I would serve the Empire better by being out here and being a thorn in the side of the Federation.” I shrugged. “Someone has to keep them in check whilst everyone is all caught up in this Thargoid nonsense.”
“Aren’t you concerned about the Thargoids? There are continuous reports of attacks on ships, and not just out in the Pleiades either, some are frightfully close to Sol.” said Eugenie.
“Are they really that big a threat? Or are we meant to believe they are a threat, for some nefarious reason? I have heard their ships only attack when provoked, and we keep intruding into their homes, and that’s before you get talking about all that business of nearly wiping them out with the Mycoid virus some 150 years back.”
“But what about the station attacks?”
“Again, if we hadn’t stuck our nose in and attacked them in the first place, they would probably be a lot less aggressive.”
“All the same, it seems impossible to reason with them.”
“I just feel that there is something sinister behind all this Thargoid talk. There are stories abound about Aegis, and not to mention the very dodgy goings on by INRA back in the day, who let’s face it are the spiritual predecessor of Aegis.” I countered, finishing my glass of Tonesh Pale Ale. “But anyway, that’s irrelevant to my present struggle. Now, I need to retire to my quarters, as I have a hard day’s work ahead of me tomorrow.”
“Goodnight, Seth,” said Eugenie as I walked towards the exit, “may you return in one piece.”
I strolled down the corridors of Goeppert-Mayer Station down to the suite where I was staying the night. Normally I just stay in the ship’s habitation compartment, but after so long being holed up in there on weightless stations I thought it was high time I indulged in some luxury. My esteemed employers back in Bakas have paid me quite generously for their exploits, after not just taking over the system, and expanding, but about to take over the system they expanded into, possibly in a bloodless coup (amazing how detrimental a bit of gun-running and drug-peddling can be for the confidence of an incumbent faction) and possibly expanding further still. However work needs to be done to ensure all this is not for naught, and to help matters I have also been backing the ruling Federal faction’s election opponents (also Federal, but the enemy of my enemy and all that) on another system – that is a tougher nut to crack, being a high population world where one’s individual efforts are watered down, but every little helps. I reach the entrance, enter the room, and switch on Galnet. Yet more drivel about Princess Aisling, we get it, the wedding’s off! I thought. The Alliance President wants more power, looks like it’s becoming more like the Federation every day, I mused. Aisling Thargoids Aisling Thargoids Thargoids Aisling enough already! I switch the holo-screen off, and slowly drift to sleep.