Logbook entry

Not Alone, But One of Many

14 Nov 2020Jubei Himura
Not Alone, But One of Many


Data entry recorded 06-3306

Another hotel on another station. I’m lucky to even be here. My last infiltration resulted in the destruction of my Fer-De-Lance, the Shin Tenchu. Hell of a thing too, I had found Thargoid-infused corrosive explosives being smuggled by black ships. I got cocky and let my guard slip. The bastards saw me and started shooting. They shot me down just outside of the station, but I was able to escape.

This new weapon scares the hell outta me. I’ve seen what it does to a ship's hull, so I don’t want to picture what it does to human flesh. The whole ordeal knocked the wind outta my sails. I’m gonna have a drink, and then it’s time to rest and meditate on I gotta to do next.



*   *   *   *   *


I feel like I’ve been here before. A burning hellscape with crumbling buildings that mark the scorched earth. Magma is formed from the melted refuse that drips off man-made structures. It flows freely through fishers that have ripped the ground apart. All this lays below a sky blackened by clouds of ash. The heat in the air is oppressive and it burns my throat with every breath.



I stand upon a great monument. A monument to what, I have no idea, but it was clearly built for some great ideal. All I know is that I’m tired from fightin’. My legs give out and I fall to my knees. I’ve done more than anyone could ask of one man, yet I feel it made little difference.

Sure, others have had a more direct and greater impact while I moved in the background, but I was still fighting. Like others, I’ve fought for those who could not and cannot, to regain control and end the selfish manipulation of others. Yet it continues. It feels as if the larger battle has all gone to hell, and I’m the only one left. It would be so easy to stop and lay down.

As I contemplate my failures, I hear the Lady’s voice. It’s only one word, but it’s enough to get me back on my feet and remind me what I’m fighting for.

“Remember.”

The ground shakes. A deep rumbling noise announces the presence of something big. Pinpointing where it’s coming from is next to impossible, the sound is coming from all directions at once. My balance is holding. Thankfully, so is the building. Suddenly, there’s a hint of ammonia in the air. I freeze, waiting for the inevitable screech from a Thargoid Medusa. It doesn’t come and the scent doesn’t get any stronger. So if it’s the bugs, they aren’t comin’ my way.

A defining crack sounds as the rock and concrete break apart in front of the building. My attention instantly focuses on the sound amongst the low rumble. To my horror, I see a gigantic figure slowly rise from the chaos below. A being of such titanic size and reach that it covers the viewable sky. It’s form is obscured to the point that I can’t figure out if it’s due to the ash or my comparatively miniscule size. What I can see is its eyes, burning with greed and dominance. Its physical form shifts and writhes so much that I can’t tell if it has five appendages, or if it’s five beings moving as one.

I ain’t got enough gas in the tank to end it, but I know I can’t let it win. So, if I’m goin’ down, I’m goin’ down swingin’.

I start forward, ready to scream out in defiance, when I’m stopped by an odd feeling. Looking back, I see a large group of ghostly people both familiar and foreign. The first of which is an oddly familiar  man, he’s holding out his hand for me to take. I grab it and instinctively pull him forward. As he passes, his form becomes solid and he charges toward the titanic form. The crowd then surges forward and also becomes solid, their combined voices becoming a chorus of defiance.

For a moment I’m dumbfounded, but then a smile forms on my cracked lips. With renewed strength and excitement I race to the front of the crowd. I’m not gonna let them have all the fun, and come heaven or hell, I’m not gonna stop fightin’.



*   *   *   *   *


My eyes slowly open and adjust dim light from the hotel room. It takes me a few minutes to make sense of my meditative dream, but I eventually get it. I hate it, because it’s so obvious and it’s not something I’ll easily admit to.

I can’t do this by myself and I don’t have to, because I’m not alone in this fight.

It’s time to go back to Carcosa.
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