Nova Cassidy's Chronicles: Judges, Pt 4
15 Mar 2016Nova Cassidy
When I had first partnered with Matt, it struck me as peculiar how difficult it was to picture him committing an act of violence. He had been so easygoing, so gentle, so laid back. Even when encountering the corpses on board the wrecked Anaconda, it seemed like nothing could disturb his placid demeanor.When the Lysenko goons cornered us in the exact same spot where I was hiding now - and I watched him cook a man’s insides with a beam rifle - that had been when I realized that I was with a reaper, after all. In a ship or in person, he didn’t hold back from doing what needed to be done. It had been a quality we shared, and it had gotten us through the worst job of either of our careers. I peeked out from my hiding spot, and I saw his face for the first time, looking around the ship’s interior, a pistol in his hands.
I turned back around, cradling my pistol. It damn well ought to be familiar for him. He had spent enough time in here, after all, recovering from his escape pod wounds. When it was over, he had settled back into his role as a bounty hunter.Then he paid to get the Bluebird repaired. It had been a pleasant ending for what had been an awful, awful job.
This time, I was the job.
Pursing my lips, I pulled off my helmet and tossed it aside. I took a deep breath and called out as clearly as I could:
“He deserved it, Matt!”
Matt peered around the corner. I was still holed up in the pilot’s cabin, Matt behind the cargo bay entryway. The same one where he and I had offed that Lysenko boarding crew a year ago from where I was waiting now. It was the only way in.
"N-Nova?!" Matt yelled out in disbelief from behind his cover. He sounded shocked. Horrified even.
"Yeah." I called back. "It's me."
"So then...you… shot Gideon?" he asked, swallowing hard.
"He deserved it!" I called out again. "Do you know how many innocent people we killed that day? How many people whose families won't see them ever again, just because he thought it might draw some suits out of hiding?"
"I-"
"He's a murderer. He made me a murderer. I shot him. I'd have shot him more if I had more than two fucking bullets in this!" I screamed at him. In hindsight, that was a bad thing to say to someone in a gunfight.
There was no answer from him.
“I knew they’d send someone. I knew it.” I cursed, “And it's you.” I chuckled bitterly to myself. "Of course it's you."
For a moment, I didn’t hear anything except, heavy, strained breathing from the cargo bay entrance. Matt was muttering. I didn't know what he was saying. Confused cursing, it sounded like.
My mind was slag from the last few days, but I kept my pistol ready. Matt eventually stopped muttering to himself and called out to me.
“Well, how the hell was I supposed to know? I was sent for Jaylin Sharwit. Where’d that come from?”
“Turns out a shitload of credits is all you need to get a new name and a new registration. More for the pistol.”
"Darlin’, I-”
“Don’t call me that. Not any more.”
Matt didn’t say anything for awhile, and I used the opportunity to close my eyes and rest against the bulkhead. I would almost let him stuff me into a cryotube, just to get some rest.
Eventually, he tried again. “I didn’t know it was you.”
"Well, it is me. So what now, reaper? Come to collect your bounty?" I asked, sounding tired. So tired. I was almost spent, but I was ready to make this my final stand if I had to.
Some final stand it would be. Any newbie hunter in the ‘verse could take you down right now.
"I'm coming out, Nova," he said. "I don't want to hurt you, ok? I just...want to talk." He rose up, and immediately ducked as I haphazardly aimed another shot and fired, the bullet whizzing by him and ricocheting off the bulkhead. It was a terrible snap-decision, but I didn't want to risk him coming towards me with a pistol and a mission to kill me.
"Funny, you had a lot of chances to talk this whole last year!"
"Nova! God damn it!" He kicked a nearby box. "I should have told you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, okay? Now can we just take a step back and calm down?"
He tossed away his pistol, letting it skid across the floor. I rolled my eyes at the gesture. Nobly disarming himself like in some stupid holovid.
I peered around the corner. Sure enough, there he was, arms outstretched, holster empty, wearing the same leather jacket as a year ago. Unlike a year ago, however, his eyes were filled with worry, and guilt, and regret.
“If you’re still sore over everything, here I am.”
I started to slowly stand up, pushing myself up the bulkhead wall with the remaining strength in my legs. “Yeah. There you are. Hunting down the partner to patch up the lie you told. Some white knight you are.”
A look of consternation crossed his face, and he gingerly took a step forward, arms still up. “Well, whatever I am, the job’s out the window. I didn’t know it was you.”
I rounded the corner, still eying him suspiciously and keeping the gun leveled. “You keep saying that. I’m starting to wonder who you’re trying to convince.”
He looked down at his feet, a conflicted look on his face. Shaking his head, he slowly looked back up. “I wanted[/] to tell you. I wanted to tell you when I walked out of Gideon’s office. I wanted to grab your hand as you turned to leave. I wanted to send you a message this entire goddamn time.”
I sighed, the exhaustion and emotional weight further exhausting me. “Then why [i]didn’t you?”
A sad smile began to cross Matt’s face. “To protect you.”
I scoffed, shaking my head. “Sir Matt, the white knight bounty hunter, lying to protect Nova's delicate feelings.”
He weakly shrugged. “Something like that.”
If it was any other ship, I’d have spat on the deck. “Even after everything we went through? After I proved myself? And after all that bullshit about never forgetting me or our time together?”
He grimaced, a bitter look crossing his face. “I haven’t. And I’ve never stopped hating myself for what I did, either. To those folks or to you.”
I shook my head, taking a step toward him. “Feeling bad about something doesn’t always make it better.”
He took a deep, ragged breath, a little unsteady on his feet.
"Sure doesn't," he muttered, more to himself than to me.
We regarded each other for a moment before he continued.
“So, what now?”
I gestured toward the cargo bay with my pistol. “You go your way. I go mine. Go tell your masters you weren’t able to find Gideon’s killer. I move on. You move on. The past stays in the past.”
To my frustration, he didn’t budge, instead taking another step closer. A look of weariness crossed his face. “There’s something else. Something you need to know.”
I exhaled. Is this fucking conversation ever going to end? “I doubt it. In a week, I’ll be laying low in some backwater podunk system the Inquisition’s never even heard of. Even they can’t look for me everywhere. Gideon’s dead, and they’ve got bigger fish to fry.”
His face hardening, Matt exhaled a ragged sigh. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you, darlin’. Gideon ain’t dead"
The pistol in my hand suddenly felt too heavy for keep aimed at Matt. I hadn’t actually seen him die… It looked like it, but I didn't exactly check for a pulse, did I? My knees buckled, my head exploded in regret and self-hatred.
All that work. All that planning. Never seeing anyone I love again. Having to spend the rest of my life watching my back…
I looked down at the pistol in my hand.
… just to have fucking failed anyway.
I let out a bemused groan, followed by a choked sob turned into broken chuckling. Looking back, I really sounded like I was fraying at the seams, becoming unhinged. I think I was. "All this and he's not even fucking dead. Then he sends out you. Of all people."
I had to lean against the bulkhead for support, banging my head back against it. Matt walked forward to support me, but I pushed him away and looked into his eyes.
“Don’t touch me. Just… go home.”
He sighed and walked over to where his pistol had landed. I was beyond caring if he was armed, my head still swimming with the news of my failure. He holstered it and closed the strap, looking back up at me. I looked down at my own piece, its weight suddenly burdensome. Like Matt, I holstered it.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. As long as you’re alive or Gideon thinks you are, this ain’t going to stop. If I go back empty-handed, he’ll just send someone else.” He frowned and looked up, regret still in his face. “Someone who ain’t got a history with you.”
I crossed my arms, and looked up at him defiantly. How had I forgotten how tall he is? My voice was soft from the exhaustion, but still had its edge.
“Well, I’m never going back. So it looks like you’ve got a problem. Either I leave all of this behind unscathed, or just shoot me now.”
A peculiar look crossed Matt’s face. He looked around the Bluebird, and then back down at me. For the first time since our little reunion, a trace of his old roguishness surfaced as the side of his mouth lifted just slightly.
“I think I might know a way for us to have both, darlin’.”[/i]