The Past is not Your Home
10 Apr 2022Iridium Nova
"The past is not your home. It belongs to the you that was, not the you that is. The you that was won't let you live there, they want you to live where you belong."Sensei always had a way with words. Here I am, back at Golden Dragon Monastery, with more questions than answers, once again. I guess if you're reading these, the last thing you read was about my recent purchases. Specifically, a certain type-6.
So, I'd had the refit teams at Jameson Memorial restore the layout I grew up in and decided it'd be fun to pretend that the last 150 years didn't happen and I was 16 again. Ironically, certain recent events actually made that somewhat easier. But here's the thing: life doesn't work that way. The Fomalhaut Disc is long gone, my parents haven't been alive for at least 50 years, and most importantly, I'm not that person. That naive child ceased to exist 150 years ago. I'm not April anymore. I'm Iridium Nova; adventurer, hacker, murderer. The me that was is scared to death of the me that is, and I basically just kicked her sweet little life into the sun.
I hate emotions. I'm bad at them. I turned them off because they get you killed. But like with silent running, if you keep those vents closed too long, you explode. So here I am, in this place of peace and tranquility, lit up like an emotional heat sink that's just been ejected from the burning wreckage of her childhood.
Fuck.