Stuck in The Middle (Epilogue) "New Beginnings...Memories of Old...Haunting Past"
18 Oct 2021Isabella Levine
Previous Episode: (Ep. 14) "Promise Me". Alrighty! This here is the end. Oddly a literally anxious about this one as I never really did closing to a long story. But! I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who read for reading! It was a blast to write and I honestly didn't think I'd do 15 posts for one story.Thank you to those who showed support as well with the kind compliments. You guys are the best
. I really don't have much more to add beside's maybe explaining that the story here all took place during the early months of September of 3307. I don't know if I explained that adequately but it was about a week in-universe. Thanks again...for the third time and uhhh, enjoyn the show.
Isabella laid on her back gazing up at the starry sky above her, reminiscing back on the nights of Ekono when she'd go outside in the large grass field behind her home and watch the stars and occasionally ship fly by. The only difference with what she gazed up at was that it was a transparent ceiling and the stars all moved in one direction making it impossible to track stars effectively. It didn't feel the same as being on a planet. Orbis Starports Habitat Rigs were alright but the advertisements that suggested that living in space was safer and better than down on the ground were full of shit. Sunlight you can't feel, recycled air is always gross no matter how filtered it is, and in both directions, the land arches upwards making it impossible to see grassy hills or distant mountains like at home. To some, this might be paradise but to her, it was becoming a trapped hell she wanted out from after spending three days in the same rented-out room they took from an apartment complex. This was why she came out to the small public park so often. Catch "fresh" air and feel the prickly grass beneath her. At least the grass was real. Or she thought. Almost everything was synthetic now.
But she knew she shouldn't complain. Violet was with her now and she officially became a legal guardian of hers. Whatever that agent did worked and she was thankful for it. There wasn't a chance in hell she could let Violet end up back into the hands of an abusive mother. If it came to that, and thank god it didn't, she'd have probably done something drastic. But it never came to that and now the two were here at Opala. Some system she didn't remember the history of. She chose this system due to how close it was to where they were released from by the Federal Agents. They needed to stay grounded for a few days to allow Violet and even herself to recover fully from the events that conspired for nearly four days straight non-stop. Knowing herself, she'd just ignore the medical recommendation but with Violet? She wouldn't.
"Bella!? There you are! I couldn't find you anywhere. Is this your spot now to get away from people?"
Isabella arched herself upwards and twisted back to look at a young woman with blonde hair tied back in a ponytail approach. She wore a pair of tan jeans and a simple white shirt. It was nice to see her cleaned up and in actual clothes and not that work pressure suit she had on for days.
"Violet! Hey, yeah. I was just out here attempting to stargaze. It's not going very well."
Violet quickly gazed up and smiled seeing what she meant.
"Life on a Starport, right?"
Violet said, looking back at Isabella. Her face lit up and a smirk arched across half her mouth. She then let out a suppressed laugh gesturing to Isabella's backside.
"Bella, you have dirt and grass on like…all over your clothes. We just bought them the other day. You're going to have dirt on your butt now."
Isabella shrugged nonchalantly and stood up, wiping away the debris that covered her rear. Her beige cargo pants now smudged with grassy dirt marks. Once done, she looked at Violet and studied her carefully.
"How are you feeling?"
Violet's gritty smile slowly faded upon hearing the question.
"I feel fine. I'm not sore or anything. Don't feel dizzy or anything like that either. I don't know why we have to stay here."
Isabella softly smiled at that. She wasn't the only one feeling squirrelish being stuck in one spot. They wanted to move.
"You know why. Medical doc's said we need to shut it down for a few days and get rest. Especially you after...everything."
"Ugh. Well, I'm fine so screw what the 'medical doctors' say. I know my body better than they do."
Isabella began walking and waved Violet to follow and she did.
"That's right. But I want to ask you something, Violet. You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I've noticed during the night hours you're up and watching T.V or something. Are you getting proper sleep? If something's bothering you..."
There was a long pause before a snarky retort came.
"Why? Are you a doctor or psychiatrist? Diagnose me with post-traumatic stress or something? I'm fine, Isabella. I'm restless because I'm a light sleeper so I fall asleep to T.V or something."
Isabella put her hands up apologetically and shook her head. Now she felt bad.
"No...I'm not...I just noticed. That's all. You've been through a lot and seen so much. I just know from a little experience what it's like to live with...a level of trauma and how restless you can become because if you dare sleep you relive the events that scarred you. Over and over. I still have nightmares about Kepler Orbital after the bombings. To me that was...well it was just bad."
Violet grabbed her hand and stopped her by pulling. Isabella stopped and spun on her heels to face Violet. She looked into the girl's eyes and saw they were serious.
"Fine. You're right, okay. I...I haven't slept well since we've been here. I'm on edge, I think about my dad and the nightmares. Gavin and my father...it's always the same seeing them...what happened to them. Sometimes it's different and it's at home back on Earth. The same men in their black armoured suits break-in and…my father...this gunshot. It's so loud. But then they start chasing me. Trying to take me away. I always wake up before they catch me and drag me away to some darkroom. It makes no sense but…"
Violet raised both hands in a shrug before letting them fall to her sides.
"I'm sorry, kiddo. I...the...I hate nightmares. If you need me for anything you come to me. I'm here."
Isabella kicked herself for failing to form a cohesive sentence. She just...sputtered out and failed to say what she wanted. Didn't matter as what she wanted to explain was her own nightmares. But they were more...violent. Something she didn't want to share or say out loud.
"Look, not to switch the subject so suddenly but what I think we need is to do something fun. Not here but somewhere else. Get our minds off these things. Experience good things."
Isabella said with a warm smile. She knew eventually she'd have to face her demons and that wouldn't be easy. Scars like these never heal fully and she'd live with it for the rest of her life. But if she could make Violet's experiences worthwhile and memorable, then she would try her damnedest to bring her joy. Some might criticize and say that what the teen girl needs was professional help. To deal with the events she was forced through. Some would say that running from your trauma and your problems was futile. She couldn't help but accept these things as true. But right now all Isabella could do was provide some level of enjoyment for Violet and that's honestly all she wanted to do. To let the teenager do what she wanted. Like being a teenager.
"Do something fun? Like what? I thought we had to stay here for a day or more."
Violet said with her arms crossed now.
"Well we do by 'their' words but we can do whatever we want. I know a few things we can do. Earlier I was looking at the Galaxy Map and there's a system a few light-years from here that has a water world with floating cities. i Bootis. A quaternary system."
Violet's eyebrows shot up with intrigue and curiosity.
"Floating cities? What? How?"
"Oh..on water supposedly. They move or something with the fish migrations. They're fishing cities. Sounds cool..."
Immediately Violet lost all interest and her body language showed it with slouched shoulders and a distant stare. Isabella frowned. This was a bad start.
"Yeah...or we could find something else. Smelling fish all day isn't probably fun. It just...sounded interesting. Four stars and all."
Isabella shrugged. It surprised her how she couldn't think of a unique place to take someone. There were a few ideas and places that popped into her mind but she shelved them because she wasn't traveling hundreds of light-years.
"Why don't we go to where you grew up? I want to know where you were born and how it all started. Plus the history and culture of an Imperial system I guess."
Isabella couldn't hold it back but she spurted out a sudden laugh. It wasn't necessarily on purpose but she couldn't hold it. Violet immediately frowned and crossed her arms over her chest again. Someone was actually interested in her life and where she grew up. Violet was the only person who wanted to know. No one else every really cares.
"I didn't mean offense. I...there's a hundred places to go and see but you really want to go to Ekono? There's nothing there besides one station, a space dock for a Majestic Class Interdictor, and my homeworld, Ekono."
Violet looked at her with anticipation. Like Isabella knew what Violet herself wanted from her suggestion on going to Ekono. Isabella just stared in confusion so Violet finally broke.
"Ugh, dummy. I want to go and train where you did. Learn what you learned. I mean...I'm interested in the history and the town you grew up in but I really want to learn some moves."
It all clicked in her head now. She understood what Violet was looking for by going to Ekono. But it conflicted her. She was indoctrinated and forced to undergo combat training by her father at thirteen years old. Then a few years later had a gun shoved into her hand and trained how to shoot to kill. It wasn't anything of a normal life that was forced on her so why would she do the same to Violet. Why did Violet like this so much?
"Violet. Why do you want to learn all this stuff? I know I said I'd train you but the more I think of it the more I don't like the idea of teaching you how to hurt someone let alone kill someone. What I learned was by my will. I was...forced. I mean I could've run away but I...I always wanted to impress my dad. Show him I could make him happy as his daughter. You...you have a choice and you're willing to open a door that will lead you to...well...suffering at the end."
Violet looked at Isabella with the slightest hint of confusion on her face.
"Isabella, you don't understand what you have. I mean you have three really awesome ships, obviously a crap ton of credits to afford those ships, plus you have a love life with that guy or whatever you told me about. That's pretty damn awesome if I say so myself."
Isabella glowered and shook her head slowly. She was more sad than frustrated at Violet's lack of understanding of what went on behind the scenes of what she had.
"Violet, have you ever heard the saying 'money doesn't buy you happiness?' It's true. Credits don't either. Look, being trained to practically kill a grown man at thirteen, being forced into the military against your will, and finally joining the Pilots Federation doesn't make you...well exactly happy. Maybe that's my issue as it's really just subjective but I can assure you in my own personal experience...not everything is rainbows and sunshine. Not in my world. There's a lot to me you don't know, Violet. Yes I have ships, yes I'm a Commander of the Pilots Federation, and yes I'm in a...relationship. But with all that comes its issues. Mainly personal issues."
"Like what?"
She said quickly in reply. She didn't understand the 'personal' bit. Isabella looked into her young eyes and sighed. She wouldn't understand. Ships didn't mean much besides her Cobra and maybe her Asp Scout named Dragonfly - beautifully named by Violet recently. Being a Commander wasn't easy as you're almost always thrown into hard situations unless you're simply a deep space explorer fifteen thousand light-years away from other humans. Albeit being a Commander and enjoying the ups and downs of it was completely subjective to the individual. She knows that some pilots love getting into conflicts any chance they get and others are just there to make money and maybe get into places you otherwise can't as anyone without a Pilots Federation license.
Ah, yes. Then finally having a relationship in the crazy rollercoaster ride that your life is. Being in a romantic relationship with someone, especially if they're another Commander, truly was a pleasant experience but it was something she found was easy to pull off. Not if it was a meaningful serious relationship where your partner wanted to marry you. That's what she tried to have with James but it became more difficult when he couldn't be around to sustain that meaningful relationship and vice versa. Plus things moved too fast and marriage wasn't something she wanted to be bound to. She felt horrible but she constantly procrastinated any plans on the marriage. She was too cowardly to outright say no because she was afraid of breaking his heart but she knew he knew and it felt awkward and unnatural.
But there was one thing she flat out didn't hold back on saying no to and that was getting pregnant. As much as the thought intrigued her, she didn't want a baby. As much as she told herself differently at times, down to her core, she didn't want to have a child. It was why she constantly pushed the subject aside when brought up in conversation and also why she took contraceptive medications when they were together. She trusted him but there couldn't be any risks. Not with something that could change her life forever.
It was too soon, once again, and being a Commander of the Pilots Federation and having an infant child to take care of after going through 9 months of pregnancy was impossible, she thought. She would have to have someone take care of the child and what difference was that to her father? It wouldn't work and she felt the baby would be neglected by its very own mother that's never around. She would be Karl Levine 2.0. She'd rather die before being what she hated her father for being. In a sad truth; she felt the relationship slowly fading. It was a painful realization but that's how she felt. Maybe it was her fault for thinking she could have a deep meaningful relationship with someone when she really couldn't. It sucked because Isabella found herself a real sucker for affection when she really liked someone. Almost all people she'd pass by with little conversation and any deep connections besides acquaintance. Once or twice she'd find herself in with someone. A 'no strings attached' kind of situation. But very, very rarely did she open herself up with emotions and affection to those she doesn't trust or truly have like. James was one and to see where she was and how she felt, hurt her. It wasn't working anymore.
All of this? It was too much to explain to a sixteen-year-old girl. Far too much coming from someone with a several-year head start in life.
"Just...personal issues, Violet. Not going to fill your head with my problems. I've done a bit in my life and….I've hurt a lot of people. Done things I'm not proud of. If anything I wish I had your life growing up. I saw those pictures and...I wish I had what you had. I mean I understand your life hasn't been easy. You know the saying 'walk a mile in someone else's shoes' but to have grown up as a normal young girl with friends and things to do would've been nice. It's something that'll never be, unfortunately. I am who I am now. A loner. A killer. I've murdered a lot of people in my time and I can't help but think I'm like him. He said it to me. Twice. We're opposite sides of the same coin. I'm just like Tyrese sometimes and I can't get him out of my head."
Isabella sighed and looked up to the moving sky above. The stars still all moving in one single direction as they themselves rotated via the Starport itself. Although it was impossible to properly gaze at the stars, she found solace amongst them when she watched.
"At least I have the stars, right? They're always so beautiful to look at and it brings peace."
Violet grabbed her hand and Isabella looked down at her. Violet smiled and wrapped her arms around her midsection for a long hug. She let go and looked up at her.
"Isabella, you're not a loner nor are you anything like him. You've hurt only bad guys that tried hurting you or others. You might have your personal issues but you're here and you're existing. People do like you. To me...you're like my big sister or something. Always here to watch over me. I like that."
Isabella felt warm inside hearing those words and being hugged. She looked into the young woman's face and thought about what she said. Violet felt as if she was a big sister but Isabella thought it different. She'd been trying to nail this feeling down for the entirety of their time of bonding and it finally came to her. Love. A motherly love for the young teenage girl. She felt like a surrogate mother to Violet and that was what fit together properly with how she felt towards her. Motherly love and protection of the innocent child.
"You're the absolute sweetest, you know that? I...well I...uhh. What I want to say is that you're special to me. Only a few are and you're one. The more I understood who you are and what happened I...you're just important to me. A sisterhood you could say."
She was too cowardly to say how she truly felt. To say she loved her like a daughter. It didn't feel like an appropriate time. Regardless, Violet understood and smiled gleefully.
"Look, Violet. How about we get some ice cream or a smoothie maybe. I could do something sweet or fruity right now. We can talk about heading to Ekono and I'll show you around where I grew up. We'll go on a little adventure trip together in my Cobra and we'll leave tomorrow. We can get out of this place."
Isabella said as she led the way back towards the condominium complex.
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The duo found themselves a mini food court where there was a variety of different foods for people who rented out rooms inside the large condominium building. There wasn't much of a selection but one shop did sell fruit smoothies and the two ordered themselves one each. Violet went for a Banana Mango and Isabella got something named Taste of the Isle or something dumb. Was probably an Earth fruit that was genetically synthesized to be real fruit. But none of it mattered as within minutes both smoothies were gone and the two were back in their condominium unit watching some stupid movie with too many cheesy love scenes. As they were watching the mundane film, another one of those long-drawn-out kissing scenes popped up and Isabella immediately rolled her eyes.
"Ughh, god. Okay, I'm going to the bedroom. I can't watch this anymore."
She said standing up from the living room couch. Violet grinned at her.
"Awe, someone feels a wittle uncomfortable with the smoochy, smoochy scenes."
She mocked. Isabella waved a dismissive hand and walked into her small bedroom. There was nothing particularly special coming from a condominium complex that people could rent out for however long they wished to stay. Nothing in their unit was particularly flashy or special. Her room simply had four solid walls, a single window, a sliding mirror closet where she stored their bags, two single beds for each, and a wooden side table between the two beds. The only unique thing in the room was that wooden side table as it looked old and had designs carved into it. But the bed at least was comfortable, she thought to herself as she sat on the end of it and looked out the small open window. Their unit was near the top so she could look out and see the curving landscape of the habitat ring.
As the Starport along with the habitat ring rotated keeping centrifugal gravity, their portion of the ring now began to enter a momentary dark spot once more like before. A deep shadow slowly approached like an oncoming black cloud; Isabella watched the shadow approach and consume the area in shady darkness. She stared out the window for a few moments not thinking of anything in particular until her mind began to wander back there….Ren Engineering Complex. The Manufacturing Plant. Everything became...different and she found herself back in the storage facility. It was darker than what she remembered. Like there wasn't much of any light source. But she could see around her and that's when she saw bodies. Bodies everywhere all managed up in different gruesome ways. She was surrounded by them and a sense of sickness struck her stomach. She looked at her hands and found them covered in a dark viscous red. It looked like dark oil but...lighter red. Then she realized it was...blood. Impossible, she thought. This wasn't real. No.
"There she is. The Crimson Fox. A sly fast killer that kills you before you know what happens. Strikes the weakest point to deliver a killing blow. Killing so many of my men. Killing so many people."
A voice spoke but she couldn't find where. She recognized it right away. It was him. Tyrese Waters. He called her...The Crimson Fox? What the hell kinda name was that?
"A cold-focused killer like me…"
Then she saw him. Her surroundings going darker than before as his face appeared followed soon by the rest of him like he was some sort of...apparition. He almost looked like he floated for a moment but when his figure got closer she saw legs...walking...but then they stopped. He was close enough now to see his full visage. His face was as it was before, but his eyes. They were dark...almost black and soulless as they locked to hers. She couldn't look away until suddenly she felt her throat tighten and it became hard to breathe. No...she couldn't breathe. This wasn't real, she told herself, closing her eyes as tight as she could. It was all only in her head. But she opened them and his black eyes were still there and she still struggled to take a breath in. She panicked.
"Piss off! You're gone! You're not here!"
She closed her eyes again and focused just on breathing and to her sudden relief, fresh air entered her lungs and she opened her eyes. He was gone and the shadowy darkness outside passed as their ring section entered into the starlight once more.
"Bella?"
She turned to the voice and found Violet standing there in the doorway. Concern was stricken across her face. Isabella caught herself holding her throat with one hand and let go. She didn't even remember grabbing it.
"You okay? You were...yelling?"
She nodded quickly but felt the onset of warm tears form in her eyes.
"Yeah. Sorry. Just…"
She wanted to shrug it off saying she was yelling at someone on her data tablet but she had nothing to blame it on. It was obvious.
"It was...uhh...Daymare I think. It was uhh. Him. I've never been that close...to death and I...I was scared. I was really scared. He almost killed me that day and it's all I think about."
Violet approached cautiously and sat on the bed next to her placing a hand on hers.
"We're both a mess aren't we?"
Violet said half-jokingly. Isabella smiled and quickly whipped away a loose tear.
"I think so. That's why we can't sit here in this place. Screw another night here. You want to just...go?"
Violet nodded instantly and shot off the bed.
"Hell yeah, I do. I can't stand this place. Neither of us can."
Isabella stood up from the bed second and walked to the closet and looked at herself in the mirror for a second. She studied her hazel eyes for a moment thinking back on her little hallucination experience. She wondered for a moment if that was what psychedelics like Onionhead were like. If you saw things you didn't like and lived in them like it was real. If so then she'd probably never do those types of drugs. She'd stick to alcohol.
Isabella opened the door and grabbed her large knapsack along with hers and Violet's Remlok Pilot suits.
"Here, we'll be headed to the docks so we need pressurized suits. We'll just change now and put our clothing in the knapsack. Once we lift off we'll just take our time heading into Imperial space."
Violet obliged and the two stripped their clothes and replaced them with their Remloc Suits. They placed their belongings in the knapsack and left the condominium building at a quick pace, taking an automated taxicab, and arriving at the shipping docks only minutes later. There they passed dock workers and pilots eventually reaching an elevator that took them directly to their hangar where her Asp Scout was. Repaired, repainted, and ready to be boarded. The rear ramp lowered and the two entered the back making their way to the cockpit. Isabella sat in her pilot's chair as Violet took the bottom seat below.
"Alright, kiddo. Let's head home. My home I guess."
"Not a 'kiddo'."
She couldn't see her face but her tone sounded irritable. Isabella smirked as she activated her drives and asked for launch permission. Getting clearance, her ship lifted and released itself off the pad as she quickly flew out the 'mailslot' and into the same starry black sky she observed from the Habitat ring. As her FSD drives charged, a true sense of relief washed over her making her smile slightly. The whole Styx System, Styx Galactic Incorp, and that awful cold methane rock she was stuck on was behind her now. Violet was with her and two bad people were gone for good. Last update on Tyrese Waters was that he was in critical care at some nearby medical facility in deep space. Still alive but unable to hurt anyone. She hopped. Although all of it was behind her and she was free of problems, the scars of what happened stayed with not just her but Violet as well. It was something they'd have to live with. The Frame Shift Drive charged to full and COVAS began counting down. This was it. The next chapter. The count hit zero and they entered hyperspace.
