LOG BOOK # 1 - COMMANDER ISABELLA LEVINE - TITAN CONTRACTORS
20 Oct 2021Isabella Adair-Levine
DATE OF RECORDING: 10/20/3307TIME OF RECORDING: 19:40-UTC
RECORDING LOCATION: Misir - Snyder Gateway
LOG TYPE - Audio
ENCRYPTION DETECTION: No Encryption
VOICE RECOGNITION: Commander Isabella Levine
USER IDENTIFICATION LICENCE:
LOG START:
"Okay, I want to address the elephant in the room I suppose. 'The heading of this transmitted audio log says number one when you've made a bunch of logs before.' Yes. I'm...starting as if this is a new chapter in my life. I've been away from the typical logs for a while now and a lot...a lot of things have happened since then. If I sit here and talk about it I'll be here for an hour and I won't waste your time with that. All you need to know is that it was simply the worst few days of my life. But in those few days; I met a poor young girl who helped me through those days and vice versa. We supported each other through unlikely events I found myself stuck in the middle of in the Styx system. She really did help me and she didn't even know it."
"But that's not why I wanted to make this log. I...I guess I just wanted to make this log as a new introduction and moreover; to speak out about what I've been thinking and feeling perhaps. Why I've made some decisions and changes."
"So for starters, I guess I want to talk about a personal dilemma I've been having with myself on the morality of...well killing someone. I've….I've killed a lot of people and while I did it I felt...nothing or little to nothing. Like if you...uhmm...killed a bug that bit you or something. A thing that's just an inconvenience to move out of the way. It's become normal now and I'm afraid I may become something I don't want to be. Now I don't feel like going into detail but trust me when I say that these people weren't good people in the Styx system. They were bad people that hurt others to claim control in the end. I did what I had to do to help someone that needed helping. My only problem was how easy it is and how much I've killed in those short few days. If I was any better than they were. Fourteen people....I killed I think fourteen people in two maybe three days. And you know what? That's only one instance. I've done jobs before. I'll be honest. Doing paid hits on people. They give you a name and a face if applicable; tell you to kill them because they're X, Y, and Z. Then I go and do it. I've even sided with warring factions that pay the most. I'm not the cleanest woman out there. I've done horrible things I regret."
"But after my experience in Styx...the lives I took, the lives I saw lost...almost losing my own at one point...it really gave me a wake-up call I think. I have these horrible nightmares. Each one's different but there's one where I'm someone I don't want to be. Like...ugh, this is going to sound stupid, but an alternate version of me that's...evil I guess. Where I kill just because it's a job I do and a Job I do freakishly well. I even enjoyed it. Like...I see myself looking into the eyes of...well me and behind them, I see...pleasure? Satisfaction? I ask myself how far am I from being that woman in my dream. If not am I already that woman? I even have this name…'The Crimson Fox'. If you laughed at that, that's okay. I kind of did too. It's a silly name. But where it gets serious, for me, is when I can't sleep at night anymore because of these dreams. Perhaps the silver lining is that I have a conscience, right? If I can't sleep right then that means all of this actually is weighing on me. My guess is that it's an accumulation of everything that happened this year. With the Empire thinking I'm a terrorist, burning station and what I've seen...losing my father even. Then what happened recently….I feel broken...or felt it."
"But now I think I've found a new purpose. It started when I picked up a distress signal. No ordinary type, one from a fellow Commander. Her name's Thallia Thorn. She'd found herself in a bad situation where she was...uhhh...it's another long story that could keep me here for a while. I'll definitely share that one for another time. I've now known her for a little over a week getting to know her more and she's...uhhmm…well, I like her. Like...in a professional way...obviously! Not something else...ahh! You know what I mean! Leave me alone!"
"Anyway, I felt really good helping someone and I wanted to make it more of a thing and if you could imagine my luck, I came across this Squadron of a diverse group of Commanders and Mercenaries called 'TITAN Contractors'. You could look them up right now so I won't go into detail but I joined them. The whole crew they have running, it's fantastic. There's a diverse group of Commanders that specialize in different areas and all of them are really friendly people. The lead Squadron Commander is Aurora Adair. A Commander who I've listened to their publicized logs from time to time and quite honestly was the reason why I chose them. I hadn't given her Squadron much thought until...well recent events as mentioned earlier. I felt a bit alone and directionless. I needed a new purpose and I think I found it here in Titan. Within the squadron, there are multiple divisions and I inquired to a few helpful people after I joined about who and what they were. Again to save time I won't explain all of them but there's one I support that aligns with what I want to do; help people who need helping. Meet the BLUSTAR Division. They help with search and rescue operations, support missions, and humanitarian aid. They also have a small section for combat-oriented personnel to pull security. I'm on that end from time to time when in support of them. I know, I know. I don't want to hurt people. But if I'm saving someone or multiple people? Hell yeah, I'll do what it takes."
"Ahh, crap. This log has gone on for quite some time now so I should wrap it up here. It's been a few hectic days being a part of this squadron. I joined them at a very intense time. Some of their carriers apart of their fleet were bombed and Squadron Commander Adair had left on her own without informing the squadron supposedly. She was going after Hivemind herself. There were a lot of unhappy campers when she left suddenly. Didn't know so many people didn't like her or her authority for that matter. What I learned from the Navy was that you don't alway have to like the person but you respect the rank. I don't know Squadron Commander Adair personally but she seems like a cool person. I like the fact that she's open with her emotions and isn't afraid to express them. She doesn't hide behind some fake persona or mask to earn respect from others. Says a lot about someone's strength and I respect that."
"Ah, but here's good news; a Commander by the name of Alexis Bright managed to find our Squadron Commander in some really creepy Thargoid surface structure. I deployed along with BLUSTAR and CSF to pull security, as that's what I'm good at, and...just wow. I know the focus was Adair but have you ever been in one of those surface sights? Absolutely terrifying and amazing at the same time. Your equipment goes to hell though. Can be difficult hearing radio chatter over the constant interference. Guess it's the Thargoid structure. I sorta want to go back there and look at it more. But unfortunately, right now I can't. I'm in the process of buying a new ship that I want to use for rescue operations. Should have it tomorrow. Going to head down to Paresa and get the last bit of people out of that burning station. I am a little anxious about it as from my past experiences in burning stations, but I have to try."
"So! That's the end. I have way more to talk about but this has gone on long enough. Thanks for taking the time to listen, I guess. Commander signing off."
LOG END...
