Logbook entry

The Squirming Coil of Raxxla

16 Jan 2021Rabid Kiwi
Trust nothing you hear about Raxxla, not even from FDev or "reported from FDev" Beleave no one when they speak of Raxxla, they are all mad and I will tell you why.


There is no way to prove the ping I think it is bull shit. People want to solve puzzles, this is kind of a thinking game so it draws people that like a challenge like that. I should know I was one, still not the same after my search. Got to read a bunch of cool stories, but I totally lost any real confidence in my senses reporting "reality" accurately. So like the subjectivity of our senses and observations are like layers upon layers, but there is no end to it. Because we filter everything through this illusion matrix we call consciousness, and even to that there are different levels awareness making it even more subjective to the experience of the one experiencing it.....

I regress like I said it changed me, my focus on stripping things to their basics to test ideals and theories on where this fabled Raxxla is kind of spun out of hand into an existential awaking of perception and consciousness. Mix that with me reading Herbert's Destination void and the Pandora trilogy at around the same time and something happened. I just started thinking more and more big picture and stripping all subjective values from my understandings. It was very humbling, still is. I use to fallow suit on the Heigl and Plato, but their way just glosses over values. like the rational is real. But rational to what? I found my problem with western Phil then was that it laid to much on the door step of morality. Because the absolute even uses the term soul. Morality is considered and treated a natural force. But it is not natural, it is human made and so it is not real, it is a construct. This made me question Plato's " constructs are the only thing that is real." So once I started questing and finding Plato lacking, the noble lie, men of gold and bronze, every thing that was built on it started to crumble. Because it is all based on morality being a force of nature, and not an subjective understanding of a collective.

All that madness is now in side me, I feel it foam and with great wroth try and break free of my timid grasp on it. I try to talk to people about it but... see cave allegory. I know why they fight it, because it is fucking scary, that safety blanket being ripped from you. Your own fleeting morality shoved in your face until .... I am not going to do that to you. I am not going to take you down the end of this path, because life was better before... Before Raxxla
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