The Illusionary Coil of Self
18 Jan 2021Rabid Kiwi
So we are working towards why morality has such a hold on us. You can start at the beginning of this madness [1] [2]... So we left off on stairs leading to the Paradox of Self. Lets pick it back up and keep moving forward. In the end that is all we can do, move forward. So we have Self awareness and a place to store observations of the awareness, but we need something to interact between the two. There has to be a go between that takes the input data and formats it so that it can be processed, stored, and the gleaned when needed. Enter perception, enter the self. So down to the lowest life we know of to the most complex we know of each one has a way to extract data from it's environment. Eyes/ears/hairs, this list is endless, but each one of those is connected to the organism and is feeding data in real time. Now so you know this happens at the cellular level as well, Bacteria have been shown to respond to touch. [Sauce] But the very act of processing this data changes it. So the object that is being observed is real, as in it is part of reality. Alas, the observation is an illusion, it is a fabricated object built on a pervious experience.
So we have an awareness of self, perception of the environment, and the ability to store our observations. We are only really missing one thing for a complete break down of what consciousness is... But lets store that and chew on this perception problem. Because how we analyze the data that gives us our perception has a lot of loop holes. You know these as optical illusions, or audio illusions. These are cases when our perception has no ability to process something so it fills in the gaps, only it fails to do it so much that we notice something is off. Alas, it is the times that we do not notice that fool us. Because our perception is always just filling in the gaps. That is how our minds work, they get a very limited amount of info, and your perception builds what you think you see and hear. But it is really only your bodies reaction to what you see and hear and feel. You are not really seeing these words, your perception has created them. It is just we are all hardwired just about the same, so we perceive things the same way. So it is easy to be fooled in to assuming that all of us, every lifeform on this planet, is perceiving correctly.
This is because how nature/the universe works. It is just running a feed back loop over and over again, and everything we see is a result. ( see chaos theory and Turing's metapopulation dispersal work, his formula's are used damn near all meta population simulations not just biological. ) It started with everything and nothing, to quarts, to neutrons, to hydrogen, to stars, to planets, to life. In that progression each step built on the one before. This is why trees look like veins, the inside of walnuts shells looks like a pig nose, a whorl looks like the milky way. The once the universe uses a stable form it will keep using it until it is no longer stable. The same patterns the same formula's, it is all on huge feedback loop. From gas to stars to supernova to planets, to new stars.... It just keep building, and what ever is stable stays, and what is not fades away.
So what is the Paradox of Self. It is that because we are part of that system we will never be able to fully understand it objectively? It shaped us, we think like we do because of it, we see and feel like we do because of it, we are it. It is such a part of us that we can not even think, or function with out it. We can not even imagine how to think with out it. Alas, that is just the start of it for it is all an illusion, because it is a built construct made in our minds, based off of limited information, that the system we are trying to objective observe created. We are getting closer. The Paradox of Self is, the more self aware you become the more aware you become. The more aware you become the more you understand your limitations and imprecise data collection ( perception ). This builds until you realize that you are not really aware, you are confined and for the most part because you are a part of what you are observing, everything you interact with and know is represented to you in illusionary symbols.....
The more self aware you become, the more you become aware of the lilliputian self that you have. Go too far down this road and you lose the self.... What happens after that is different for every one, me well I got the Raxxal sickness. I lost a large part of my emotions, well they are not really my emotions now are they.... They are the universes emotions, it was the one who gave them to me.... I see my illusion as cold logical, i strip the subjective and only accept hard values. I am no longer fully human, but I still am human.... That is enough for today, It is hard for some one who has not experienced it to understand. You can not read your way to enlightenment. "The meaning of life is an thing to be experience, not a question to be answered." F. Herbert. I will finish the trilogy of consciousness tomorrow with the destruction of abstract thinking. ... For now I must rest, writing all this down is very tiring and scary. I know I am mad, but because I am mad I can not tell how much of the madness slips out.... That is the legacy of Raxxal....