Not All Engineers Are Created Equally
09 Apr 2019Shankhoof
Recently took one of my ships to an engineer who will go unnamed, for their sake... What follows is an accounting of some of the irresponsible mistakes, sloppy work, and missing parts and items that I, so far, have noticed upon the return of my ship:
This is me, Cmdr Shankhoof. Cmdr Shankhoof is not exactly thrilled with the state in which his ship was recently returned to him...
This is my espresso machine. Easily one of the most important items on board. The absolute first thing that I noticed upon boarding was the peculiar fact that I could only see one cup hanging upon my precious giver of life-blood. Now, believe me. I completely understand the need to sip back a cup of espresso while working. I almost even consider it a necessity... but please, at least clean the cup and return it. Not only am I missing a cup, but the machine still had moist grounds left to mildew inside what I consider the heart of this ship! For shame!
Upon my short walk past the wounded espresso machine, with sorrow and disappointment already weighing on my shoulders, I damn near twisted my ankle when my right foot found the first of MANY missing panels! WHY?! Why would you remove a single panel from the cockpit of this ship?! I just....
...I just don't get it... Not a single one of the modifications that I had done involved weight reduction. Out of four CO2 covers, THREE are now missing. Entirely gone. Nowhere to be found. I have searched the whole ship at least THREE TIMES! I only have one remaining CO2 cover. Where did they go?!
Now, you're probably thinking to yourself "Don't worry Cmdr. Just walk around on the left hand side of the cockpit to avoid a broken leg. I'm sure it'll be much safer." WRONG! Take a gander at this 1st place winning specimine of a safety hazard. No big deal.. just an extension cord draped across the floor of the cockpit right by the Cmdrs chair. What's the problem? Honsetly, I should probably be glad that they didn't take the time and effort to properly run this cable under the panels, or I'd likely be missing half of my cockpits floor right now.
How about this one? The panel on the opposite side is still there. This one however I can not say the same for. Did they need the raw materials for modifications? I gave the engineers all of the materials that they told me they required for the work I was having done. If they needed more, all they had to do was ask. Sheesh...
And how about this? What in the actual eff is this?! Who runs a wire like this?! I don't. I'll tell you that. I'm not even a 'professional' engineer and I know better than this. I wouldn't even do something like this after a night of Lavian Brandy while on Onionhead! I feel like I'm the butt of some bizarre practical joke here..
But wait... what's this? What is this embodiment of absolute professionalism here?! Is that... YES It is! It's 1 Credit Store Duct Tape! These asshats didn't even use the good stuff. Not only did they use Duct Tape, and cheap Duct Tape at that, but it WASN'T EVEN THEIR DUCT TAPE! It was mine! They snatched it right out of my overhead compartment! I bought that just last week at the Ray Gateway 1 Credit Store! Barely even used any of it either... There's hardly any left too, which tells me that there is a LOT of cheap Duct Tape holding this ship together right now in places that are currently hidden from sight. AWESOME!
Don't want to waste our clients duct tape do we? Hell no we don't! Lets make sure we put it aaalll to 'good' use!
"Check out those handy cable management clips! Should we use one here?"
"What are you, daft? Hell no! Just slap some of his duct tape on it!"
"Found the perfect place to run these cables boss!"
"Great work Jim! I'm sure this Cmdr could never have a reason to ever want to close this hatch door again! Just run 'em straight on up through there! Make sure you use ample amounts of his 1 Credit Store Duct Tape!"
"On it boss!"
Fun fact: I definitely won't have the need to ever close this hatch door again, seeing as how THE ENTIRE FREAKING DOOR IS MISSING! How?! Just... seriously... how is this real life?
See this stain on my cockpit floor? Yeah... that wasn't there when I dropped my ship off. Like I don't have enough glaring reminders of this debacle staring me in the face as it is. You know what? I bet this is all that's left of my missing coffee cup! This just gets more depressing by the minute..
But lets try... at least TRY, to end this on a somewhat happy note. This here is my one remaining, fully functional hatch door. Isn't it a beauty? I'm going to cherish it forever.
Seems like an awful lot to sacrifice for some upgraded multicannons doesn't it? I'd like to say "I'm never coming back to this madhouse ever again!" but that wouldn't be true... I'm only at grade 3. Can't wait to see what these goofballs manage to 'fix' next time!
Fingers crossed!
