Chasing Ghosts XI: Fracture / Too Late To Say Goodbye
13 Apr 2024Maul Montresor
"It's not complex
See all of the signs flashing on
You're just paying
For all of the bad you have done"
"Now I'm under your spell, trapped in a lie
Shouldn't have stood that close to the fire
No turning back, no where to run, no where to hide
It's too late to say goodbye
Push back from my heart, wish we could go back to the start
But oh my god is this real no more time
It's too late, it's too late to say goodbye"
Shouldn't have stood that close to the fire
No turning back, no where to run, no where to hide
It's too late to say goodbye
Push back from my heart, wish we could go back to the start
But oh my god is this real no more time
It's too late, it's too late to say goodbye"
It was dark and silent. A part of me wished to stay there, perfectly still within the stillness becoming one with nothing. The constant hum I've heard from the ship this entire time was the only sign that I was still among the living. Reluctantly and perhaps out of fear, I turned on my flashlight to assess what situation I would find myself in this time. I was partially surprised to see I that I was still standing in the control room of the SLF maintenance dock. It was as if nothing had happened at all. No ominous voice, no figures standing forebodingly in the darkenss, nothing but the loss of power. No power meant that my previous plans of opening the exit door by a switch rather than by force and draining a part of my suits power, were now foiled. At least, I had thought that. Descending the stairs from the control room and inspecting the door further, it had seemingly been opened at some point. I must have flipped a switch in the midst of all the chaos my mind had fabricated.
Madness was all I'd experienced from the beginning.
My boots clanked and echoed through the darkened halls beyond the doors threshold. It was darker than ever before. If it weren't for the humming, I would have been convinced that the ships power plant had finally fried from the constant cycles and the entire ship was powerless. The words "Not much further now." quietly fluttered from my mouth but they didn't feel like my words and the echoes furthered that assumption. I shook the feeling and pushed onward. Destiny beckons after all, but she is no longer in my ear aiding me. All communication seemed lost and I was alone now.
I trekked through the labyrinthian halls of Sepultus Memoriae as I had been for what felt like an eternity. Though, I didn't use the directions that had been added to my suits HUD, it was as if I already knew where I had to go without thinking. On my journey, I saw no one still. Only evidence of life and altercations that had taken place before my arrival. Not a single person or body remained. It was as if they had vanished. Suddenly snatched from this reality, continuing their existence from that point forwards elsewhere. Like a light
"̸t̶h̶a̵t̷ ̵h̴a̸d̷ ̸b̶e̴e̶n̸ ̵g̷l̸o̴w̸i̸n̷g̶ ̶f̷o̸r̵ ̸a̴n̵ ̸e̶t̴e̶r̴n̵i̵t̶y̶.̴ ̶A̴s̶ ̸b̸r̵i̴g̵h̸t̴ ̴a̸s̴ ̷i̶t̸ ̴h̷a̵d̵ ̶a̶l̴w̵a̷y̵s̷ ̶b̷e̸e̷n̷ ̸a̶n̶d̵ ̶a̸s̸ ̵b̶r̶i̷g̶h̷t̵ ̵a̸s̸ ̵i̴t̴ ̸w̸o̶u̶l̸d̶ ̶e̶v̵e̷r̶ ̵b̷e̸".Except there was no light. There was no sound. No Destiny. Just darkness, forever.
It wasn't long, or perhaps it was, before I'd arrived at Sector C, the site of the explosion that I'd witnessed from outside the megaship. My suit had sealed and began supplying me with oxygen as soon as I had crossed over the boundary to this sector through the giant blast doors. I had one battery cell left at this point and had to use it now if I were to make certain I'd have enough oxygen to cross through this sector and get to the control tower and shut off the jammers that prevent the S.O.S. signal. I was quite literally on my last breaths.
"M̴o̸t̶h̶e̶r̸ ̴k̶n̸o̸w̷s̶ ̶b̵e̶s̵t̵ ̵"
"T̷h̸e̵ ̶s̴t̵a̷r̴t̷ ̵o̶f̸ ̵t̷h̴e̷ ̷f̶a̷l̵l̸"
Voices echoed around me causing me to stir from my slumber. I lifted my heavy eyelids to find I'd awoken on the floor of a cell with the door wide open. Nothing was keeping me here, just as nothing brought me here. Again, my clothes were forfeit and I'd been placed in medical scrubs. Finally struggling to my feet, I approached the door and leaned against the threshold holding my chest. Something felt off. I looked around beyond the door and saw numerous men dressed just like me. Scarcely bathed in the red lights dotting the walls. All of them whispering and mumbling in that voice I'd heard back in the SLF maintenance dock.
"Ah, another has arisen." A gravelly and powerful voice rolled through the room causing the others to cease speaking and me to look around for its origin. I stepped from the door and fell to my hands and knees immediately. An old slouched man stepped from the shadows, his face obscured by darkness that seemed to move with him as if it were attached. Reaching a hand out, he aided me to my feet so I could rest against the wall again.
"I see we've met." He said, reaching out to rub my head.
"We have?" I asked. Trying hard to peer through the veil to see his face.
He stopped rubbing my head and moved to pat my shoulder. "Of course, that's right! You were in no condition to remember earlier. I see now that you're willing to. I am Mason."
I began to recall one of my blackouts and the visions it brought forth. The man with the scottish accent mentioned a man named Mason. He implied that he was the one who had butchered my hair.
"Right," I said. "The guy who cut my hair."
Mason laughed hardily before quickly turning to a stern tone.
"No, it is souls that I collect and yours was a nasty vile one."
"M̶o̸t̸h̵e̶r̶ ̶k̴n̶o̷w̶s̵ ̷a̷l̴l̸ ̶"
"T̸h̶e̷ ̷g̷u̵i̴d̷i̷n̸g̷ ̶l̴i̴g̸h̸t̶"
"T̷h̸e̵ ̶s̴t̵a̷r̴t̷ ̵o̶f̸ ̵t̷h̴e̷ ̷f̶a̷l̵l̸"
"Billy, time to get up! You sleep too much. Mother always said 'The more you sleep, the less you live!'
Voices echoed around me causing me to stir from my slumber. I lifted my heavy eyelids to find I'd awoken on the floor of a cell with the door wide open. Nothing was keeping me here, just as nothing brought me here. Again, my clothes were forfeit and I'd been placed in medical scrubs. Finally struggling to my feet, I approached the door and leaned against the threshold holding my chest. Something felt off. I looked around beyond the door and saw numerous men dressed just like me. Scarcely bathed in the red lights dotting the walls. All of them whispering and mumbling in that voice I'd heard back in the SLF maintenance dock.
"Ah, another has arisen." A gravelly and powerful voice rolled through the room causing the others to cease speaking and me to look around for its origin. I stepped from the door and fell to my hands and knees immediately. An old slouched man stepped from the shadows, his face obscured by darkness that seemed to move with him as if it were attached. Reaching a hand out, he aided me to my feet so I could rest against the wall again.
"I see we've met." He said, reaching out to rub my head.
"We have?" I asked. Trying hard to peer through the veil to see his face.
He stopped rubbing my head and moved to pat my shoulder. "Of course, that's right! You were in no condition to remember earlier. I see now that you're willing to. I am Mason."
I began to recall one of my blackouts and the visions it brought forth. The man with the scottish accent mentioned a man named Mason. He implied that he was the one who had butchered my hair.
"Right," I said. "The guy who cut my hair."
Mason laughed hardily before quickly turning to a stern tone.
"No, it is souls that I collect and yours was a nasty vile one."
Entering the large holding cell area, I looked upwards towards the enormous gaping hole that had been blasted outwards from within. I disengaged my mag boots and floated towards the hole using my packs directional boosters to aid in navigation. Debris from the cells and various room structures had filled the area to such a point that simply navigating the area proved dangerous. From my
"I gazed back towards the room to see nothing of note. Perhaps it was a multitude of explosive charges placed upon the surface itself that had caused the outward explosion. I was out of my depth with this. Perhaps someone like Silas or Lambast would know better with their past experience in combat situations. Though, I severed those ties ages ago. Time wasn't on my side here and I had limited oxygen. There was no time to get caught up in my own thoughts, so I boosted back towards an exit to continue my trek towards the control tower.Opening "Project: B.E.V." orB̶i̶r̴d̸s̴-̷E̶y̴e̵-̷V̵i̵e̸w̴as the document stated at the top,"
I laughed awkwardly in response but Mason didn't reciprocate. He meant what he said, whether it was true or not. I chose to change the subject to something helpful and less maddening.
"How did I get here?"
"You've always been here. The same as the rest of us."
Another unhelpful answer from the old man.
"Fine, how do I leave?"
The man pointed upwards causing the metal ceiling to rip open without so much as a sound or disturbance to the rest of the people in the room that were still mumbling to themselves. Beyond the rift, stars were visible but there was no way we'd been exposed to space. We'd be dead.
"You can try, as you have before and continue to fail, or accept the quest you've been given. Destiny beckons. You must reach the control tower beyond this prison."
I furrowed my brow and stared into the void that engulfed the old man's face.
"I think I'm afraid." I said as the pain in my chest began to ease.
"That's okay." Mason simply answered.
I looked up at the stars one last time before leaving, knowing exactly what had to be done.
"How did I get here?"
"You've always been here. The same as the rest of us."
Another unhelpful answer from the old man.
"Fine, how do I leave?"
The man pointed upwards causing the metal ceiling to rip open without so much as a sound or disturbance to the rest of the people in the room that were still mumbling to themselves. Beyond the rift, stars were visible but there was no way we'd been exposed to space. We'd be dead.
"You can try, as you have before and continue to fail, or accept the quest you've been given. Destiny beckons. You must reach the control tower beyond this prison."
I furrowed my brow and stared into the void that engulfed the old man's face.
"I think I'm afraid." I said as the pain in my chest began to ease.
"That's okay." Mason simply answered.
I looked up at the stars one last time before leaving, knowing exactly what had to be done.
As I walked the dark hallways again, the lights above began to flicker to life again. So much for my theory on the power plant. "The bastard prevails." I thought to myself. I flicked off my light to preserve as much battery life as I could. That was when I saw the silhouette of something in the darkness before me. Standing under one of the flashing lights. I stopped in my tracks and began to reach for my rifle but then I recognized the creature. It was a deer, the old earth animal I'd seen before in one of my various blackouts. Was I having another one right now? It didn't feel like it. This felt real somehow or different at least. I suppose it was as real as a deer on a spaceship in a sector with no oxygen. I didn't care. Logic be damned. There was nothing logical about this place anymore.
The hallways were as confusing as ever and the only light I had were the ones blinking over head.
"Hey!" I called out, causing the deer to turn and look at me. It made no sense that it could hear me but it did. It let out a slight yelp, causing the speakers in my helmet to scramble and try to emulate the correct sound. I cautiously approached the animal as it too inched towards me. The last time I saw the deer, it was injured and bleeding.
I thought I'd heard something growl in the darkness behind me.
"A different one, huh?" I said quietly to myself.
"W̵e̷ ̴a̷r̵e̶ o̵n̸e̵ ̴a̵n̴d̵ ̶t̸h̴e̴ ̴s̵a̵m̷e̵.̵"
My entire body tensed and I stopped moving as a voice emanated from the deer. The voice resembled the one I'd heard earlier. The one I've been trying to ignore.
"Did you just—"
"Y̵o̴u̴ ̷l̷i̶e̸ ̸t̷o̶ ̶y̸o̵u̸r̴s̸e̸l̶f̴.̸ ̴Y̶o̵u̴ ̴l̸i̴e̵ ̵t̵o̶ ̴T̶H̸E̴M̸.̶"
Its mouth did not move and its body language did not reflect the pattern of which it spoke. The thing seemed like a vessel of sorts.
"What? Lie? ...I'm not..." I said in disbelief of what was happening. Even if this were another hallucination, this was the first time one had garnered such a visceral reaction from me.
"Y̷o̵u̵ ̴w̶i̷s̸h̵ ̷t̶o̷ ̸d̸i̶e̴ ̴a̷ ̸s̵a̷v̶i̴o̶r̶ ̴t̸o̵ ̷e̴r̴a̷s̴e̷ ̷y̶o̵u̷r̶ ̴p̴a̸s̷t̸.̵ M̷̘͊̿͋͐́̕O̷̩̯̥̾̅͂Ț̶̱̤̺̟͙̽̀̋͠H̷̹̝̟̄͑̒̏̓͝E̴̯̥͖̯̓Ŗ̶͓̗͉̓̚ ̶̡͍͎̮̲̅̄H̷̰͂̑̋̽̚ͅȀ̶̬͝T̵̛͇̘̪̞̦͎͐͌̀̓́E̶͔̿̈́̉͋̕Ș̷̤̉̂̌ ̴͕̙̫͓̝̭̾̽̔̓̕͘Ả̷͙̤̻̯̔͘͜ ̴͙͙̦̫̹̼́̅̅̃̊̚M̴̧͉͙̮͉̏͜Ã̸̠̬̤͕̲͗R̸͚̭̩̖̎̈́͐̀̓͝T̸̡͙̞̰̥̼̈̾̎̍̂Y̶̨̨̛̼̙̆͗̄͆͘͜R̵͉̬͒̔̒͛̍͛"
"Mother? What do you mean by that?"
"W̸e̶ ̴a̸r̷e̸ ̴M̵o̸t̶h̸e̵r̴.̴ ̴W̶e̷ ̸h̵a̷v̸e̸ ̸a̸n̷s̸w̸e̶r̴e̶d̶ ̶t̴h̴e̴ ̸f̴i̶r̸s̷t̴ ̶c̵a̷l̴l̶.̴ ̴N̵o̶w̶ ̸w̶e̴ ̷a̷n̶s̵w̷e̵r̷ ̴t̷h̸e̵ ̴s̶e̴c̴o̵n̴d̸.̶"
Nothing was making sense. If this was all a creation of my mind, why didn't it make sense to me?
"Y̵o̴u̴ ̴h̶a̷v̵e̶ ̶d̷e̷c̴e̶i̶v̴e̸d̴ ̵T̸H̵E̷M̶ ̷t̴h̵i̶s̸ ̴e̷n̶t̸i̵r̸e̸ ̶t̴i̵m̴e̶.̷ Y̸o̷u̶ ̸k̵i̸l̵l̴e̴d̶ ̶t̴h̴e̴ ̶d̴o̵c̶t̵o̶r̸ ̴f̶o̵r̵ ̸a̸ ̴r̵e̶a̸s̵o̷n̴.̶"
"What do you mean? I haven't killed anyone!"
Y̷o̷u̴ ̴k̶n̶o̵w̴ ̶e̵x̸a̷c̴t̶l̸y̴ ̶w̷h̶at I mean, don't you? I reached into the right pocket of my jacket and produced a near empty bottle of unmarked pills. Karazijia had suggested I take something to help keep my mind straight but I refused. But now he's dead...which means we never had that conversation. How did these get here? Had I been dosing this whole time and forgetting? What else don't I remember?
The growling grew more frequent and impossible to ignore. I stopped and carefully began investigating into the darkness behind me.
"Why are you here?" I asked, dropping to my knees to come face to face with the animal.
"Y̵o̴u̸r̴ ̷k̴i̴n̶d̵.̴ ̴T̶o̷ ̵a̷l̶t̴e̴r̶.̸"
As I grew closer to the terrifying growls, I noticed they slowly started becoming the hissing guttural growls of the voice I'd heard in my visions before. "Your kind. To alter." What does that mean? Who was the voice talking to?
A sudden gunshot from behind interrupted my conversation with the other worldly creature. I turned quickly to see the brown haired nurse from the medical wing standing there pointing a Karma P-15 past me. Her face remained hidden by her surgical mask. She stormed past me, chasing Mother into the darkness.
A loud pop echoed through the halls and blood suddenly sprayed out from the darkness, covering me.
"Wait!" I shouted, knowing this all had to be in my head. The woman can't be here, she'd be dead.
I chased the woman into the darkness, lights flickering overhead. Flashes of her. Flashes of Mother. Then suddenly two corpses. A faceless man and woman laid underneath a now constant light. Another flash and the nurse appeared again with her pistol pointed at the bodies on the ground. Another two quick flashes accompanied by two gunshots and now a pool of blood appeared on the ground around them all. The light then remained steady again. I carefully approached the scene and glanced down at the bodies. They were dressed in civilian clothes, unusual attire for any space faring activates. I then turned my attention to the nurse. She wasn't moving, it appeared as if she was frozen in time. I quickly reached for her gun and as soon as I made contact, there were two more flashes and two more gunshots. I had suddenly been moved back away from the scene. Like time had reversed somehow. I approached again and grabbed the gun quicker this time. The same thing happened again. The next time, I approached and studied the woman's eyes. She looked familiar, just as the other nurses did before. I then slowly reached out to remove her mask. I pinched one of the strings by her ear and peeled it off of her cheeks and away from her face.
"...Tessa..." I whispered. Her terribly scarred face was burnt into my memory. Scars that were gifted to her by her sister.
"Damn it." I said, wiping my bloody hands on the legs of my medical scrubs.
This was the woman who framed me. Ruined me. Ruined her sister, Vega. Ruined herself. Her child. The one who started this all. She'd been missing for years now after her and her precious corporation's secrets were revealed. The moment I cleared my name. The moment she shot me. I proved my innocence all while becoming the criminal she framed me as. I became the person she wanted. The scapegoat she needed. A monster.
"...I...I know exactly how this ends..." I said, my voice shaking. My body trembling. I didn't want to remember. I'd done everything I could to forget. It's all I'd done for years now. It was my sole purpose. It's why I'm here, why I am always here and always have been. I wanted to be anywhere but here but couldn't look away. I didn't want to see it. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.
A wounded deer then slowly creeped out of the darkness towards me.
"I've...seen this all before..." My voice was shaking.
"I've...seen this all before..." My voice was shaking.
I turned to the bodies on the floor. Their faces no longer a blur of flesh, but now detailed and clear.
"...I'm sorry..."
I stared down but anywhere else to avoid looking directly at them.
"...I should have been there..."
I dropped to my knees and took one of each of their hands into mine.
"...I hope you guys knew how much I loved you...I just thought if I distanced myself that they'd— "
My suit chimed to warn me that my battery capacity had reached 50%.
"...I'm so sorry mom...dad...I just...wish I could go back..."
I left home six years ago after Tessa used me as a scapegoat in her plan to murder a business rival and I never looked back. I avoided contact with my parents in a weak attempt to protect them but now I realize I was only protecting myself from the truth. Tessa killed them hours after I left my home system and I've spent the last six years trying everything in my power to not remember. My parents are dead because I'm alive...and I'll never forget.
"Restrain him!"
A woman's voice called from under one of the helmets. Her suit more decorated than the others. Seemingly indicating her rank over them. Another officer approached and cuffed me.
"We've been looking for you, Mr. Montresor."
"...I̷ ̷k̴n̸o̷w̶...I̷ ̵r̴e̵m̵e̴m̷b̶e̷r̴ ̴n̵o̶w̶"
A woman's voice called from under one of the helmets. Her suit more decorated than the others. Seemingly indicating her rank over them. Another officer approached and cuffed me.
"We've been looking for you, Mr. Montresor."
"...I̷ ̷k̴n̸o̷w̶...I̷ ̵r̴e̵m̵e̴m̷b̶e̷r̴ ̴n̵o̶w̶"
N̶̛̥̭̗̪̩̼̜̼̩̙͓̘͕̾̾̾̊̃͑̈́̉̽̿͘̕̚o̸̧̙̣̤̫͈̪̬͚̭͊͂̍̓̇̃̆̒̈͒͋̎͗̆w̵̡̡̧̡̨͖̭̘͈͇͙̤͉̑̕̕ ̴̧̹̤̘͖̩̞̗̜͓̱͙̹̳̻̠̺̠̱̭̀̊̏̌̓̽̐̈́̚͘͠ͅy̸͕̻̤̞̮̗̰͙̳̟̤͎̙̍̊́͆͆́̑́̆̾́̿̓͐̇͗̆͊ó̷͕͈̱͇̫̣͓͕̠̲͗̂̏̄́̾͂̊͆̊̄̔̑̈̋̌͠͝u̸̧̨̧͙̝̘̗͎̻̝͔̱̜̬͉̹̖̰̤̞̼͗̎̂̍̒̌̈́͑̐ͅ ̵̛̹͎͐̾̈̿́́͊́͑͌̅͗̓̔͗̇̽̈́͘̕r̴̛̘̽̌͂̆̔̇̃̈̃̓̀̓̈́̃̍́̕̚͘ȩ̵̛̛͖͈̎̉̿̌̈́̋̈̈̈̾̑̆̕͝m̸̧̡̻̼̳̭͇̬̩͍͕̲͈̗̹̗̜̺͇̅͌͆̎̊̆̂͑̎̃͐̑̔͂͜ͅę̸̩͙̯̮̠̞̣̦̞͈̜̝̖͖̈́̇̆̌̎͋̀̽́͑͘͝m̴̲̙͎̑̍̂̈́b̵̛̪̣̠̎̑̓̐̃̒̆̎͑͗̀̈́͒́͗̄́͘̕ë̸͔̞́̒̈͌͒͠r̶̛̛̫̂͊̾́̐̅͛̅́̿̍͆̿̏̌̉̏̉͝ ̶̧̧̛̻̪̰͇̻̙͍̟̬͇̹̿̃̌̔͑̈́́̒̔̎ả̷̠̙̩̩̬̩̙̓̌͛̈́̍̏͊͝ņ̸̪̜̟̖̖̜̻̘̺̮̟̫̣̖͇̟͎̯͈̌̿̐̍ͅd̷̡͙̲̹͇͈̞̲̫̈́̋̂̌͆̅̋̉͆̍̅͑͘ ̷̢̤̥̞̟͇̼̖̲͍̼̹͑͗͗̅̄͗͊͗͗̔͑̋͘ý̶͍͚͈͓̫̝̜̳̗̦̊͛̈͗̾̔̽̅͐̊͘̕͘͝͝͝o̸̠͍͇͕̤͂̌̾͐́̾̔͋͂̑ū̵͙̔͠ ̴̧̨̛̪̹̻̲̞̰͕̞̰͍̞͚̩̣͕̳̿͌̄́̈́͘ͅͅw̸̧̛̘̞̝̳̟͙͎͍͙̙̤̮̜͚͈̘̓̀̓̽̀̎͌ï̵̧̢̧̳̖̣͓̳̬̪̲̙̜̜̗̠͓̤͍͊̌̓͛̈́̃͗͜͜ͅḷ̶͓͖̼̻̩̹̘͓̝͓͌̆̍̐̍̓̅͐͑͘l̸̢̨̗̣̜̹͓̥̱̍̊̾͐͌͘ ̵̨̧̤̠̦͖̻̺̳̠̪̀͒̾̀͒̕n̵̢͍̟̳̙̞͍̱̯͕̲̙̥̈̊̉̄̉͊́̆͑́̏͆́̓̇͋ḛ̸̖͔̠̫̳̤̹̮̱̻̥̩́̓̿̈́̀̌́̔̓̋̌͝͠v̴̨̥̪̺͉͙͙͇̞̤̹̫̥͕̞͉̭̣͛̍͂̈́͌̀̈̒͆̉̀̐̆̕͝e̸̲͉̗͉͍̫̼̻̣͖̲̙̝͉̣͚̭̍̎͒́̿͊͆͗̄̉̓̋̽́́͌̐̾r̷̡̰̝̪̰͖̰̻̙̜̋̏̍̅ ̴̢̡̛̫̣͈̲̥̱̲̩͈̭̜͍͙̱͒̑͋̓͊͌͆̇̐̈̕͝ͅf̵̨̢̫͇̥̜̦̬̝̻̭͓̦̠͛ͅͅō̶̢̪͙̝̦̋̃̓̒̃̉̉͛͋͋̽̀̕r̵̡̛̠̥̙̝̤̠̭̳̘̐̓͋͐ͅͅg̷̰̝̱̤͈͉̩͌̑̿̊͒̈́͆̕e̴̢̼̗͉͖̝͙̞̔̄̂͘t̷̪̠̰̪͕͓̖̜̀̅̋̏̃̏͊͌̐́͂̆̎́̍́̈́͘͝
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