A New Perspective on CMDR John Jameson
16 Aug 2022Ember Lacson
It's been a few days since I last wrote anything, and I've been working diligently on putting together my stealth ship, the Kasumi, named after Kasumi Goto, the stealthy master thief from the 21st century Mass Effect video game franchise. Here's an EDSY build link if anybody is interested. Most of the engineering is done, with the exception of the experimental effects and the power plant, which I'll need to visit Hera Tani to finish anyway, since my onboard tools can only get the Low Emissions mod to grade 4.Before I got to work on that, though, I jumped over to GR1 and grabbed 30 relics that I'm going to run through the Thargoid machinery at some point. After that, I headed over to Sosong to find a Thargoid Probe. I've heard that you can use a Thargoid Sensor to access the site, and you only need the Probe if you're going to turn the device on the normal way, but I'll probably test that later. (Right now, you can turn the device on with 3 Guardian Relics.) There are still some crashed Interceptors here and there that haven't been looted, so I'll grab a Sensor from one of those and do some testing. I did manage to find a Probe in Sosong, and I narrowly avoided a scan from a Cyclops when I tried to grab a second one. Since one is all I needed, I decided to store it back on my carrier and grab some meta-alloys.
I was going to head to Maia or check at a Thargoid structure, but I had a CMDR tip me off about a barnacle forest in Hyades Sector AQ-Y d81, on body C 2. It wasn't too far so I grabbed my Phantom, Phanero, and moseyed on over. It was...strange. I've run into alien plantlife and notable stellar phenomena during my exploration trips before, but this was different. I landed at the site and dismissed my ship because the terrain sucked. About ninety seconds later, as I was about to launch my camera drone to get the lay of the land and look for ripe barnacles, a frame shift anomaly popped up, and a Basilisk dropped in. It let out an EMP, knocking my SRV offline. I panicked to get my systems back online, as I was close to a barnacle and therefore trespassing. But the Interceptor ignored me and parked over the largest barnacle, then launched a beam of some kind, similar to the tractor beam I had seen in my nightmare. Oh, and I forgot...I saw this in person in Sosong. I dropped into a non-human signal source, and the Cyclops scanned me before grabbing an occupied escape pod from some Cutter wreckage. I thought this behavior was limited to HIP 22460, but apparently I was wrong.
Once the Basilisk waked out and all was quiet again, I launched my camera drone and looked around for the bright, bluish flowers that yield meta-alloys when harvested. I collected them four at a time, called Phanero back, transferred them over, and sent Phanero back to orbit again and again until I had collected the amount necessary for the tech broker, plus a few more for good measure. No other Interceptors came knocking, thankfully, because I was worried what might happen if one caught me or my ship with their precious meta-alloys on board. They don't really like sharing. Often they'll give you an opportunity to hand them over, but sometimes they just see their stuff in your hold and choose violence. This is especially true if you have any bio-devices, like probes or sensors or, worst of all, hearts. Because that is proof you killed one of them, and I reckon they're going to be especially touchy on that front.
Once I had harvested my meta-alloys, I high tailed it back to the Morningstar and hopped around Li Yong-Rui space a few times to buy a new DBX and finish outfitting. I had most of the engineering materials, thankfully, with the exception of a bunch of data resources, a bunch of high grade manufactured mats, and some selenium. The selenium was dead simple to get, as there was a raw material trader nearby. The data was pretty easy to get as well; I just had to jump out to HIP 12099 and pay CMDR Jameson's Cobra a visit, copy the files a hundred times over, and jump back to Ray Gateway to trade down. If you haven't been out to the site, I encourage you to do so. It's located on HIP 12099 1 B at coordinates -54.3, -50.3. You can also hit the planet with a Detailed Surface Scanner, and the site will appear in your points of interest on the left panel.
I've done this a dozen times. I've read the logs at least a couple times. But this time...it hit different. The four logs are addressed to his son. In the first, he expresses regret about not being there, and especially about missing the boy's birthday. He talks about the mission INRA sent him on, stating that he didn't know what he was carrying. The final paragraph is eerily familiar: "Of course if it doesn't work, I'm just kicking the hornet's nest. That's why I've set the nav system to jump out as soon as I've delivered the payload. Can't be too careful." That's exactly what happened a week ago. We didn't just kick the nest this time; we headbutted it.
In the second log, the following lines stand out to me: "I tell you... I'd never seen a hive ship up close before. I doubt many people have. It was amazing, kiddo. Beautiful, really. Makes you realise just how smart they are, how advanced. I admit it: I hesitated for a moment before I hit the button. I had to remind myself that it wasn't them I was attacking, just their technology. That is, if this mycoid virus of theirs even works."
Now I'll admit something. I was blind. All I could think about is the people I knew who had died in the station attacks, all the human blood the Thargoids had shed. When I heard people like CMDR Malic saying there was never any real evidence of Thargoids as the initial aggressors in either war, I dismissed it outright. After all, Dahan Gateway was and still is home to many, many people who have never lifted a finger against the Thargoids. It's a civilian target, for all intents and purposes, and attacking a civilian target constitutes a war crime. But we don't know who shot first in the first war, and we don't know who shot first in this one. The movers and shakers say the Thargoids did. And I'm not inclined to believe the xeno ally nonsense either: "We were trespassing in their space, so it was their prerogative to kill us even if our intentions were peaceful." Misanthropic, xenophilic garbage.
But still, Jameson was able to fly right up to the hive ship without them attacking. He said he masked his heat signature—a trick I've used in combat and plan to use extensively in recon—but I would imagine he had to get close enough to the hive ship in order to deliver the payload that they would have seen him. He remarked in the beginning of the second log that it was "almost too easy." Maybe they just didn't care or didn't see him as a threat.
The third log is short, and in it he realizes what he has done, what we all know from history. INRA's assurances that the weapon would only disable Thargoids' hyperdrives were 100% bullshit. "The weapon is... lethal," Jameson said, pain and remorse in his voice. "They knew what it could do. They knew, and they used it anyway. How many have we killed? Thousands? Millions? God forgive us."
How many have I killed? I'm sitting on over 400M in bonds. I know I had at least another 300M above that, which I handed in at the Musashi. I was signed up for their last initiative, but...I just couldn't bring myself to take this blood money and Salvation's weapons this time. My stats tracker says I have 80 kills to my name, but I know I've tagged a few more than that. I never shot at one who didn't attack me first, but...we all know why they were attacking us. People like to describe them as animalistic, frenzied or enraged by the presence of Guardian tech. But they knew. They had to have known. They knew what the Wych was doing. They weren't moths to a proverbial flame; they were an army amassing right under our noses. They were doing to us exactly what we thought we were doing to them, with the full knowledge that the Proteus Wave would fail and that all the bloodthirsty humans would suffer the consequences instead. "No more mister nice goid."
The fourth log is heartbreaking. With INRA having disabled his ship remotely, he is on a collision course with HIP 12099 1 B. He says that he knows a lot of men who wouldn't want the galaxy to know they committed mass murder. But he said he wants people to know. And thanks to whoever set out those comms beacons, we found out. But we. didn't. learn. shit. Salvation is one of the bastards who developed the mycoid virus, ostensibly one of the people who was involved in the cover-up of Jameson's crash. And we trusted him again, this time knowing what he was a part of. Shame on us.
As I listened to the end of the fourth log I sat there weeping into my gloves. His final words were, "There's something I want you to remember: No matter what they say, whatever garlands they hang on my name, whatever they write on my tombstone... You. You were my greatest achievement." I can scarcely hold back tears writing this.
Does a soldier feel remorse for the enemy combatants he has killed? Sometimes. Sometimes not. Sometimes his heart is too hard to allow him to. I've dispatched fiery death to many a random thug from the comfort of Aliette's pilot seat. I've reveled in the explosions of many an Anaconda, FAS, Corvette, and so on when they were piloted by thieves and murderers. I've even basked in the green glow of many Thargoids' corrosive blood. I have no regrets. But maybe I should be more thoughtful with the weapons I wield.
When I got back from my data farming mission and prepared for another jump, this time to Meene, I sat down and played the logs for Nicole. We sat together and cried. Whatever happens moving forward, I think it's time for us all to mourn the loss of CMDR John Jameson, for us to remember what happens when we trust the powerful.
War is hell. Don't ever forget that. And do not give your allegiance to those who wish to live in it.