I feel guilty
10 Jul 2021Sharon Valerii
10.07.3307Maanen Laboratory
Gender
New entry:
Clearing throat..
I am slowly recovering from the injuries and subsequent operations.
Jintosh insisted on taking me to Gender to be treated by the specialists of Gender Travel PLC. I guess Irula wasn't safe enough for her.
Who can blame her for that attitude? After Kendra shot me down and I was lucky to escape with my life, my sweetheart didn't want to take any more risks.
Unfortunately, one of my eyes could not be saved. It was replaced by a cybernetic implant. I guess this thing is ironic.
All other injuries are healing very well thanks to the care of my new friends.
The members of Gender Travel PLC did not care who or what I am or had been. They simply took me in.
I am very grateful for that.
I think I can find a new home here.
Now I lie here in my hospital room watching the recordings from Kendra's suit camera.
These recordings frighten me deeply. How brutal she has been against the people who were once her friends.
... And all the hate inside her...
I feel great sadness when I see how much this young woman has changed.
... And guilt...
Tears come to my eyes at what I see on the holo. Why can't I remember all these things Kendra claims? Can she be right in saying that I can be turned on and off at will by the network? Was I like this before Octavia?
In the end, I can only be glad that Hans von Volldampf decided otherwise and left the little one alive.
My thanks also go to Commander Dlljs, who did me a great service by bringing Kendra here.
As soon as I feel strong enough, I will talk to Kendra. I want to prove to her that I have changed and try to make peace with her.
Maybe together we can find answers to old and new questions.
End of entry