A Walk In The Woods
13 Jan 2017Skiingiggy
"You're lost in the woods. We all are. Even the Captain. The only difference is, he likes it that way.""The only difference is, the woods are the only place I can see a clear path."
Things have gotten... hectic around the bubble. And even outside of it. And that remains true for all of the big players out here. The Federation. The Empire. All of their various leaders and other factions fighting for power and control. And then even just beyond the bubble now there's aliens. Aliens I've seen with my own eyes. All of this bigger than me, a seemingly insignificant random pilot who's worked for everyone just trying to carve out a name for myself out here in the black. But that's just it. I can't change the tide of events, I can't make a lasting result or mark upon all of this, no matter how hard I try. I used to think I was making a difference, doing the work I do. Bounty hunting. Hauling important cargo and medicines that people needed, charity. Gathering data. They say every little bit helps, But I don't know if that's really true anymore.
I'll admit, these feelings come about because of issues stemming from my personal life back on Sol. I know my ships are docked elsewhere, but when I'm not flying that's where I go - back down to Sol and to a life that I used to think was going well. Things have been anything but though. There's been a lot of hurt, and a lot of heartbreak for me here lately. I keep telling myself I'm handling it well, and maybe I am, I don't really know. All I know for sure though is that right now, I'm waking up each morning upset - so much so that it manifests as physical pain - until I can talk myself down. I don't know exactly where I went wrong or how to fix it - but I know that staying around populated space isn't going to help me now. I need to get away from all of this - the conflicts, wars, people...
I need to go get lost in the woods and find my path. I don't know how I'm going to get there. I don't plan on tracking my progress or doing intense research or any of that. I'm going to take care of whatever I need to here and at the hubs where I've got my ships, and then I'm going to make my way out into the black. I'm going to go farther than I've ever gone before. I'm going to go as far as any pilot we know of has gone. And I'll explore this galaxy on my way out. I'll document the cool things I find, but this time it's all about the journey. I need to find some peace. I need to find myself. So in a few hours time, I'll begin making my way on what I expect will be the hardest exploration journey I've ever attempted. Or will again for that matter.
I'm headed to Beagle Point.