Claimed by a Darker Void
17 Aug 2019Skiingiggy
It's been a long while since I've taken a trip out into the black. Longer still since I've enjoyed doing so, or since I've done anything even remotely useful. I thought maybe I'd just grown tired of flying. Tired of the everything going on in the universe. Maybe it was time to retire, to find something else to do. Problem was - I was tired of doing all of the other things I enjoyed too.And only recently did it hit me - the problem wasn't flying. It wasn't the alien threats, or all the political squabbles, though they can wear thin on the nerves too. No, the problem was that there was a much darker void than that of space growing inside of me - a black hole swallowing me up from the inside.
More words than I probably needed to say that I fell into a depression spiral - and it started to rob me of all the things I enjoyed, not just flying. All of my hobbies had fallen to the wayside, and it felt like all I was ever doing was working, trying (and failing) to sleep, or otherwise just wallowing in my own misery. Now, I'm taking active steps towards pulling myself out of that hole, and that includes engaging in things I used to love doing. My hobbies, spending more time out of the cryo-pod and work, and finding a councilor somewhere out there in the black. It's helped a little, though I still have a very, very long way to go. Today, I climbed into the cockpit of Honeybee and took a quick jaunt out to the Veil West, and soon I'll begin my trek out to the Sagan Research Station. Just to stretch out the explorer's legs and get the hang of flying again.
After that, who knows. Maybe I'll venture further out into the black, and see what I can find. Maybe I'll return to the bubble and do some freelance work, maybe I'll stick to the shadows and do what I do best. Maybe I'll just dock the ship and spend more time planetside - I really don't know. What I do know is that I've got a long road ahead of me, and many, many more jumps to go before I clear this hole. But I'm gonna keep trying, and that's all I really can do right now.