LOG #037 - Commander A. Adair - TITAN Contractors
16 Aug 2021Aurora Adair (Radiumio)
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LOG: #037
RECORDING TYPE: Personal Log LOG COMPROMISED
What does Log Compromised mean?
In our squadron lore, these logbooks are not supposed to be publicly viewable by Commanders. However, in some circumstances, a log may be 'compromised', allowing it to be considered publicly viewable - in this case, the information within can be used for story or discussion purposes in-character.
In our squadron lore, these logbooks are not supposed to be publicly viewable by Commanders. However, in some circumstances, a log may be 'compromised', allowing it to be considered publicly viewable - in this case, the information within can be used for story or discussion purposes in-character.
RECORDING LOCATION: T.O.C. Solaris Q4V-40N (auto-detected)
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I think I'm getting a hang of this whole Commander thing... kind of. I know that might be a far stretch since I practically just received my license, but I've had ample opportunity to practise my flying in empty space, usually around the carrier... and dare I say it's improving. Enough that I'm comfortable enough to fly places now.
Though, being a Commander isn't the only thing on my mind anymore... Now I have the squadron to worry about. Things kind of got better since my last log, but that's not saying much... CSF's divisional leader - who just so happened to be the biggest challenger of my position - ended up resigning after I made an announcement on my stance in the squadron... So if that doesn't pop up a red flag, I dunno. It wasn't really my intent to get rid of him... but... and forgive me for saying this... but we might be better off without him.
Okay... Ontop of that, I've been trying to... I guess you could say, 'make amends' with the squadron. I spoke with PANDORA Logistics, the division who organised our last deep space mining operation, and asked them to set up another one, on a bigger scale, involving more carriers and a longer mission time. I'm hoping this will... Well, no other way to put it really. I'm hoping this will make people have more confidence in me. I need to show that I can do this... and I think this is a good step. Utilising the carrier is also a nice chance to get out of the bubble... which has me a little nervous.
Truth be told, if I stopped and thought about it all, I don't know how I'd react. Admittedly, I... uh... wake up in a panic some days... thinking about things like EMBER or... Well, nevermind...
Anyway, this mining operation is giving me wings to places I could probably only imagine... It's been a lot of fun... but I'm not looking forward to the day where the scale of it all hits me... and apparently I wasn't aware that the sensor suites built into my suits came with automatic cartography tools... so two planets now have my name on them for first footfall... Not sure how to feel about that either.
God... I can't hide it, can I? I really sound like a mess... I just can't name my feelings. I haven't even told my parents about this... nor even spoken to them in a while. Everything I wanted is at my doorstep, yet I just... I'm not... How... how do I react? I still don't know how to compartmentalize all of this... And I'm scared to show it. People will tear me apart...
I guess my only solace is in these logs. Just a wall to vent to, and no-one has to know. My secret, I guess... Okay... I'm rambling now. I'm going to attach some of the images I took exploring around the mining site... Gives me something to reflect on later, at least.
AURORA'S IMAGES
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Credit:
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