LOG #040 - Commander A. Adair - TITAN Contractors
22 Aug 2021Aurora Adair (Radiumio)
INITIATING ENCRYPTED CONNECTION. . .LOGIN USER: tconscmdr3283aa3307top
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Initiating voice-recording...
AUDIO RESYNTH: ON
LOG: #040
RECORDING TYPE: Personal Log LOG COMPROMISED
What does Log Compromised mean?
In our squadron lore, these logbooks are not supposed to be publicly viewable by Commanders. However, in some circumstances, a log may be 'compromised', allowing it to be considered publicly viewable - in this case, the information within can be used for story or discussion purposes in-character.
In our squadron lore, these logbooks are not supposed to be publicly viewable by Commanders. However, in some circumstances, a log may be 'compromised', allowing it to be considered publicly viewable - in this case, the information within can be used for story or discussion purposes in-character.
RECORDING LOCATION: T.O.C. Solaris Q4V-40N (DRAKE-CLASS VESSEL)
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Sooo... I made it back to the carrier. According to the nav computer, I travelled roughly two thousand light years, when I went down below the galactic plane... That's an achievement I could only previously dream of. I decided to make a trip back to inhabited space, another few hundred light years, to hand over the genetic data I got. Apparently, it can fetch a pretty good price, and Mantis doesn't have any need for it either, it seems, so I'll take it.
And... and I may have made a slight fool of myself when I got there... I uh... well... Let's just say the guy at Vista Genomics had to repeat the value of the sample data three times... and then had to explain how my name would be tied to it... That took a while to sink in. But, I feel like I'm finally getting used to the freedom... Kinda. I'm worried about what... well, what happened last time. I haven't... had a panic attack in a while... but having one in the middle of nowhere...?
I... I just don't want to start at square one again... It... It took me a while to stop having nightmares about the time I got shot... point-blank... I can still remember that guy's face... just... staring me down... and that shotgun... He was ready to kill... and I don't want to... I don't want to remember it. I just wish I could forget what happened.
... Uhm, yeah, anyway... uh... I'm trailing off again, aren't I? ... Well, okay... I'll say it. I guess I'm just scared... of messing everything up. Just... so much feels at stake... and I guess the real truth is I don't know if I believe in myself. There... I finally said it. I'm not some... tough cookie... or some seasoned Commander... I'm just... me. A nobody who somehow became a somebody overnight...
And I... Well... Ugh, I don't know... I don't know what to say anymore. I can't believe I thought I could do this... I can barely even keep my thoughts together... and now I have to run a squadron...
Sorry. I... I need to vent, I guess. I don't even know who I'm apologising to. I feel like I'm in a pretty bad space right now... and I don't really have anyone to talk to... so I guess the logs will have to do... Okay... I feel a little bit better... like I've compounded my thoughts together... so maybe I should get some rest... This squadron isn't going to run itself.
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Credit:
This story is only possible thanks to our squadron and community. Join TITAN Contractors, a diverse and talented squadron, and experience our custom lore and events. This logbook as well as associated images and story is property of TITAN Contractors, CMDR Radiumio.
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