LOG #049 - Commander A. Adair - TITAN Contractors
07 Sep 2021Aurora Adair (Radiumio)
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LOG: #049
RECORDING TYPE: Personal Log LOG PUBLICISED
What does Log Publicised mean?
In our squadron lore, these logbooks are not supposed to be publicly viewable by Commanders. However, in some circumstances, a log may be compromised OR publicised, allowing it to be considered publicly viewable - in this case, the information within can be used for story or discussion purposes in-character. Compromised implies the logbook has been leaked, whereas publicised means the logbook has been willingly released for story purposes.
In our squadron lore, these logbooks are not supposed to be publicly viewable by Commanders. However, in some circumstances, a log may be compromised OR publicised, allowing it to be considered publicly viewable - in this case, the information within can be used for story or discussion purposes in-character. Compromised implies the logbook has been leaked, whereas publicised means the logbook has been willingly released for story purposes.
RECORDING LOCATION: T.O.C. Solaris (Drake-class Carrier, Q4V-40N)
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Ugh... I don't know how to start this off... Apparently, yesterday... when I shot Palmer? The information I acted on was likely doctored... Security teams told me a few hours after I took him down. So yeah. I feel kind of bummed out, really... And n-no... No, I'm not... glorifying killing people... Never. But... I honestly thought we had it... [#$@!]...
So I went to my quarters to rest a little. Tori asked if she could stay over for a little, so I said fine. I could use the company anyway... At least my quarters on the Solaris was a little bigger, so we could both sleep in a bed and I wouldn't have to take the damn couch again. But... I couldn't really sleep. I kept drifting in and out. Thinking about Palmer, the two CSF soldiers I killed... that dead Peacekeeper...
... Uh... Sorry. Trailing off. I uh... eventually fell asleep, but I don't think I slept long. Maybe an hour or so... and then I woke up and just... I couldn't sleep. And I felt awful for some reason... so much for 'feeling better'. Tori was laying in the bed next to me, sound asleep... so I got up quietly and got myself something to drink while I tried to calm down a little... and find something to kill time with... since we were supposed to have an operations briefing in a few hours. But I guess I woke her, because when I walked back into the room from the small kitchen, she was sitting up, yawning, asking what I was up to... and so we started to talk a little.
We... uh... spoke about Palmer's death... and the situation at that settlement... and that reminded me that I forgot to give her the souvenirs I bought... So I did... And that whole 'tough federal dropship trooper' personality she usually had just... melted away. That made me feel a lot better, seeing her reaction to the gifts... But it got me thinking about my feelings... for her... about the kiss we had a while back. But I'm scared of getting too attached... She means a lot to me. [#$@!]... Things are so confusing. Ugh. I don't know... I've never had a relationship like this. And after my family practically disowned me... I... I didn't feel like... I don't know... It's hard to explain.
I just don't want to [#$@!] things up. And truth be told... I don't even know if I should make this log public... It's a little personal... Just... don't tell Tori, I guess?
Okay... let's just put my feelings aside... we uh... sat there for a few hours, while I got dressed and ready for the briefing... It was almost time so, I said I'd be back soon... and made my way to the briefing room... It's looking better... since the attack. Today we were... well... discussing about the virus... but also about me taking down Palmer. I already was told the information that led to him was likely fake to some extent but... we were theorising who might've done it and why. So I kind of blurted out something along the lines of "What if Hivemind's back?"... and then the briefing room just went quiet. No one said a word and... everyone just seemed angry... But I don't know if it was at me. I know they thought of that possibility but... hearing someone say it out loud... after what happened to Quinton... [#$@!]...
Eventually the briefing continued... the antidote was being further refined... deployed successfully... and so on... but I just stood there and... I couldn't stop thinking about it. About Hivemind coming back. And the fact that I'd have to deal with it this time. It made me feel a little queasy... to be honest. And we simply don't have the manpower to deploy CSF security units to all carriers... so the big question of the day was; How could we stop another attack?
And... I wish I had the answer.
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Credit:
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