LOG #050 - Commander A. Adair - TITAN Contractors
11 Sep 2021Aurora Adair (Radiumio)
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Initiating voice-recording...
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LOG: #050
RECORDING TYPE: Personal Log LOG PUBLICISED
What does Log Publicised mean?
In our squadron lore, these logbooks are not supposed to be publicly viewable by Commanders. However, in some circumstances, a log may be compromised OR publicised, allowing it to be considered publicly viewable - in this case, the information within can be used for story or discussion purposes in-character. Compromised implies the logbook has been leaked, whereas publicised means the logbook has been willingly released for story purposes.
In our squadron lore, these logbooks are not supposed to be publicly viewable by Commanders. However, in some circumstances, a log may be compromised OR publicised, allowing it to be considered publicly viewable - in this case, the information within can be used for story or discussion purposes in-character. Compromised implies the logbook has been leaked, whereas publicised means the logbook has been willingly released for story purposes.
RECORDING LOCATION: T.O.C. Solaris (Drake-class Carrier, Q4V-40N)
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So... things have been definitely happening around here for sure. And I kinda have been taking a break... just hanging out in my quarters, usually. With Tori. Since I uh... well... killed Palmer... a bigger investigation has now opened up and... Well, I'm a suspect now... of course. So they don't really want me going anywhere or meeting with anyone. They gave me a tracker and said a Peacekeeper team would be monitoring it. If it goes off for any reason... or I take it off me... then they're going to come and arrest me. So that's great... At least they're still letting me do my own thing, as long as I keep the tracker on.
I'll be honest... I'm a little scared. I already gave my statement... about everything... and they just have to verify the information but... What if I didn't remember one detail correctly? Or what if they can't find any information to confirm my claims? I don't feel like I'm going to look very good in cuffs... So for now I've kind of opted for just keeping my head down. I've been hanging out with Tori. We've gone and flown around a little... went back to the bubble and visited a station for some drinks again. It's been... fun... Yeah. It's... been so stressful for me that anything fun I've done has been kind a blur... so it was nice to be able to focus on something positive for once.
But yeah... Ontop of trying to keep the squadron safe... keep Taurus going... I now have to try not get [#$@!]ing arrested by making some silly mistake or... something... I don't know. It's an irrational fear... I know they're good at their jobs... and I know they got it under control... and that they'll probably get the information they need... but uh...
Okay... Look... I know I'm... being cryptic about the Obi Dredgings incident... and I really want to apologise for that... I wish I could talk about it... but sometimes, I have fragmented dreams about what happened... it's always him... that one mercenary... stepping in front of me and pressing his s-... shotgun against me... [#$@!]... Ugh... Sorry... It's okay. I'm okay now. It just scares me... thinking about how close I was to... dying...
And I know, I know... It pales in comparison to the things other people might have experienced... and I don't know why I can't talk about it. Everytime I try explain it... it's like... I just freeze up. I can't find the words... and to be honest, I don't really remember all of what happened. My mind fogs up and... nothing comes out. So yeah... I'm sorry. That's all I can really say... and I know it probably doesn't mean all that much. Anyway... I said to the Peacekeepers that I'm not trying to intentionally hide anything... so I'll do what I can to help them with their investigation. So yeah... here's hoping.
Oh... and thanks again... for helping them get to the bottom of this... I'm trying to keep my logs public, mainly because... well, I don't know... I guess I just want to... vent sometimes... Share my side of the story... reach out or something. I dunno. I'm always wary of not sharing too much... so I hope you don't mind... if you are listening to this.
Well, I should probably go back and join Tori. I bet she's probably raiding my fridge or something by now...
It was funny the first time... not so much the second.
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Credit:
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