LOG #052 - Commander A. Adair - TITAN Contractors
13 Sep 2021Aurora Adair (Radiumio)
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Initiating voice-recording...
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LOG: #052
RECORDING TYPE: Personal Log LOG PUBLICISED
What does Log Publicised mean?
In our squadron lore, these logbooks are not supposed to be publicly viewable by Commanders. However, in some circumstances, a log may be compromised OR publicised, allowing it to be considered publicly viewable - in this case, the information within can be used for story or discussion purposes in-character. Compromised implies the logbook has been leaked, whereas publicised means the logbook has been willingly released for story purposes.
In our squadron lore, these logbooks are not supposed to be publicly viewable by Commanders. However, in some circumstances, a log may be compromised OR publicised, allowing it to be considered publicly viewable - in this case, the information within can be used for story or discussion purposes in-character. Compromised implies the logbook has been leaked, whereas publicised means the logbook has been willingly released for story purposes.
RECORDING LOCATION: T.O.C. Solaris (Drake-class Carrier, Q4V-40N)
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... Hey... It's me again. Yesterday was... well... Yesterday was a ride, to say the least... I couldn't stop all those memories replaying again and again. I couldn't sleep either... so I just sat in my quarters, locked the door and... I guess I sat there for several hours, just contemplating everything. Felt like I was there a lot longer than that to be honest... but eventually someone knocked and... that snapped me out of it.
When I opened the door, it was Tori... And she looked super upset. She didn't say a single word but just... hugged me. Initially, I just wanted to... get away... be left alone... but she didn't let go, and eventually that kind of felt like a relief to me... like some huge mental burden had been lifted off of me. So I stopped trying to fight it and I invited her in. We spoke a bit about it... how I felt... the report... she read it and... kept saying how sorry she was for me... But I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that... well... it was in the past... and I can't change it anymore... and I did what I could, but we never stood a chance fighting against those mercs.
And while it might scare me... what he was doing... it's over, and it happened. I can finally remember... and understand what happened... and in the end I guess I don't need to be scared of it anymore. I'm just glad I was able to... unlock... this part of me again... and Tori has helped me feel better about it. So... yeah... After spending the better part of yesterday crying and... having my usual breakdown... I'm okay with it... and I feel better. I'll never forget what he did... or ever forgive it... but... he's not around anymore to do it to anyone else. But, I am worried about what will happen if my parents find out... They hated the fact that I took that job... and I never told them I got shot... and... now that I know the full story... Yeah. I'm never telling them.
So... should they ever find out themselves... Fingers crossed they don't, I guess. But it wouldn't change anything... This is... uh... well... I uhm... what I want to say is that... I'm... I'm finally happy. In this position. It's what I always wanted, and... of course, some bad comes with it but... I couldn't ask for a better squadron... or for better friends. I know I keep saying this... But it's true, and yes, it's been a rough ride, sure... but I can't let that get me down. Not now. So, thank you all... for supporting me... and... following my story, I suppose. These have been some... crazy few weeks... but yeah.
I don't think I'd change a thing.
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Credit:
This story is only possible thanks to our squadron and community. Join TITAN Contractors, a diverse and talented squadron, and experience our custom lore and events. This logbook as well as associated images and story is property of TITAN Contractors, CMDR Radiumio.
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