LOG #078 - Commander A. Adair - TITAN Contractors
27 Oct 2021Aurora Adair (Radiumio)
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LOG: #078
RECORDING TYPE: Personal Log LOG PUBLICISED
What does Log Publicised mean?
In our squadron lore, these logbooks are not supposed to be publicly viewable by Commanders. However, in some circumstances, a log may be compromised OR publicised, allowing it to be considered publicly viewable - in this case, the information within can be used for story or discussion purposes in-character. Compromised implies the logbook has been leaked, whereas publicised means the logbook has been willingly released for story purposes.
In our squadron lore, these logbooks are not supposed to be publicly viewable by Commanders. However, in some circumstances, a log may be compromised OR publicised, allowing it to be considered publicly viewable - in this case, the information within can be used for story or discussion purposes in-character. Compromised implies the logbook has been leaked, whereas publicised means the logbook has been willingly released for story purposes.
RECORDING LOCATION: T.O.C. Solaris (Drake-class Carrier, Q4V-40N)
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Heyo.
So... it's been busy around here. I... uh... I gave the order for CSF to... well, start a war with Paladin. No better way to put it but... It's going good so far. We caught them on the backfoot, and CSF's doing a real good job of pushing them back. Since this log, we've captured two settlements and disrupted their logistics lines - at least the ones we know of...
Though... that didn't come without other... 'issues'. I... uh... well, after Monday... when Alexis had her breakdown, we haven't spoken about it that much. I've mainly been too busy for it, in and out of meetings... and I'm getting stressed out about it, because... well, when I got back to my quarters yesterday, late at night, Alexis was sitting on my bed, staring at her PDA.
We started off a little chat... the usual... but then she suddenly blurted out that she had to... 'go'... for a little bit. That she got a lucrative contract from her same contact as before, and that it'd be another drawn out one... And she had some personal stuff to attend to anyway. So... I... uh... I said that was okay... and asked when she was going. She kind of gave me this look... and then said 'right now'.
I was a little caught off-guard, not gonna lie... So I asked her if something was wrong, but she just dismissed it and... walked over to her locker, grabbed a bag that was already packed... and walked over to me. She said she'd be okay... that she promised she wasn't going after Connor, or whatever... that she'd try send me messages and talk to me every now and then if she could... I was pretty shocked, to be honest. That she was just leaving so suddenly. So I tried to say something, but she just... stepped in and gave me a tight hug...
Either it was pretty important or... something else, but then she just... left. Just walked out. So... I just stood there. I kind of panicked inside... wondering if maybe I did something wrong... or... [#$@!]... I don't know. God... ugh... Couldn't even really get a good night's sleep. I stayed up, kept... running through Monday and every conversation I'd had with her recently, trying to figure out if I [#$@!]ed something up.
I sent her one message just... asking if there was something wrong, that she could tell me. Anything... But... No reply, so far. I shouldn't... stress over it, should I? But I can't help it. [#$@!]... I don't know what I'd do if something happened to her. So... I don't know. I don't know what to do. But... yeah, we have other stuff to focus on right now. Sorry.
So... uh... Anyway... About CSF's strike. That data disk Sharales gave me, turns out it had a bunch of info pertaining to Paladin Interstellar on it... plus some specifics on weapon shipments, logistics... and some strategic locations, like a planetary port. We obviously can't just wage war on an entire starport... but CSF possesses legal permits now to hunt down Paladin Interstellar.
So, basically... as long as we can prove the target belonged to Paladin Interstellar, we can basically override the local jurisdiction to take them down... With some rules, obviously. Let's just say them getting their hands on that permit was not cheap... but it didn't take long, at least. Now... the operation was going well, yesterday... but we lost comms near midnight, with the squads in the field.
Long story short; turns out Paladin decided a little bit of electronic warfare couldn't hurt... Didn't help them much though, it still didn't take long before the CSF strikes completed and took out the jammer... but when the comms interference cleared and we got access back to G.R.I.D, we figured out that four Commanders from TITAN had decided to strike another Paladin settlement based off information that Connor provided.
I guess they thought something was going wrong with the operation... which is fair... and that they wanted to maybe try help out... but it went horribly, to be honest. CSF had to step in when we regained comms, and two of the Commanders just barely walked away with a bunch of injuries... and bounties, for attacking the settlement in a lawful jurisdiction. Thankfully we were able to wave that away under CSF's war permit... but if I didn't intervene, CSF would've pressed charges and had them arrested for real.
But... they didn't deserve that. It was Isabella... Thallia... Solix, and even Sharales. None of them deserved to be arrested for trying to help the squadron... so... I had them released and pardoned, basically... Besides... I kind of blame myself... I should've had CSF issue more explicit warnings... We should have made that clear.
And hell... maybe I should've even been in the field. I should've [#$@!]ing been there. I made the decision to start a war, and then they got dragged into it, I should've... Ugh... Sorry. I couldn't have known... and by the time I did, it was too late... But... doesn't stop me from feeling bad. So... when CSF recovered all four Commanders, I had to... 'reprimand'... them... I had to make it clear, right? That they couldn't just partake in a CSF operation without permission or it could [#$@!] stuff up... or get them killed...
I wasn't too harsh, obviously... but it still just broke me inside... First Alexis and now... I had to scold three of our own Commanders... three, because one of them, Isabella... was pretty badly injured... So... I figured I needed a break and... something to distract me, so I made a point of going straight to her afterwards and sitting there, just to keep her company. She was awake and doing alright... We spoke a little but... for most of it, I was doing squadron management remotely via my PDA... letting her rest.
But, just a little bit later, some others started to show up... Thallia first... she was worried sick for Isabella... and, their interactions between each other... well, they're both in a relationship, obviously, but... uh... it made me think a little. About Alexis and me... Just reflecting on stuff that's happened between us. It got me thinking maybe a little too much... which upset me a little, to be honest... but anyway...
After Thallia... Novus showed up... Then Sharales for a little bit, and Solix later... Seemed like a lot of people were interested in checking in on her... which is fair. But... listening to Thallia and them talk and... it... I just kept falling deeper and deeper in my thoughts... and I wasn't trying to detract from Isabella or anything... but I couldn't hide it very well. Lost focus a few times and... they noticed. I don't know if it's worth talking about in detail though... They tried to cheer me up a little but...
... Actually... I'll just... leave it at that. Sorry. But uhm... maybe I need to just think things through. And you don't need to really... know. I don't need to pile my issues on everyone else... People don't need to try cheer me up... I'm okay.
So, sorry, but again... think I'll cut this log short abruptly. Spent most of my day with Isabella, so I'm a little tired. Think I'll call it a night and just go to bed.
Oh... And I wanted to just say one thing that... I know people are not... really in full support of the idea of going to war with Paladin... but... please, I... I didn't make this decision lightly. Please understand that... The last thing I want to do is jeopardize everything. But... if we give Paladin the chance, they'll do more damage than we could imagine...
So... Strike first, ask questions later, I guess... I'm kidding. We have a plan, obviously...
But anyway... yeah... I'll shut up now. Ugh... [#$@!].
Sorry. See you around.
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Credit:
This story is only possible thanks to our squadron and community. Join TITAN Contractors, a diverse and talented squadron, and experience our custom lore and events. This logbook as well as associated images and story is property of TITAN Contractors, CMDR Radiumio. A special thank you to CMDRs Alexis Bright, Thallia Thorn, Isabella Levine, Novus, Solix and SpectreKryik for allowing me to use their characters in the story!
INARA page here.