LOG #099 - Commander A. Adair - TITAN Contractors
14 Feb 2022Aurora Adair (Radiumio)
INITIATING ENCRYPTED CONNECTION. . .LOGIN USER: tconscmdr3283aa3307top
LOGIN PASS: •••••••••••••••••••••••••
W e l c o m e U s er
- - IDENTIFICATION SCAN SUCCESSFUL - -
Initiating voice-recording...
AUDIO RESYNTH: ON
LOG: #099
RECORDING TYPE: Personal Log LOG PUBLICISED
What does Log Publicised mean?
In our squadron lore, these logbooks are not supposed to be publicly viewable by Commanders. However, in some circumstances, a log may be compromised OR publicised, allowing it to be considered publicly viewable - in this case, the information within can be used for story or discussion purposes in-character. Compromised implies the logbook has been leaked, whereas publicised means the logbook has been willingly released for story purposes.
In our squadron lore, these logbooks are not supposed to be publicly viewable by Commanders. However, in some circumstances, a log may be compromised OR publicised, allowing it to be considered publicly viewable - in this case, the information within can be used for story or discussion purposes in-character. Compromised implies the logbook has been leaked, whereas publicised means the logbook has been willingly released for story purposes.
RECORDING LOCATION: Templar (Krait Phantom, TR-03X)
====================RECORDING START====================
... Heya.
So... I don't really know how to start this off. Things have been happening and it's really not great at all. Seems like we can never get a break. I was hoping the trip would get us away from stuff, but as if by pure 'luck'... it didn't, and something horrific happened aboard the Solaris. It's kind of why I've been so quiet and... why I've been staying away from the carrier... because that's just how I try cope with this stuff. Detach and... I dunno. Whatever.
I guess I'll start at the beginning. So, on the Saturday, the 12th, the squadron's latest trip started. I know I said I didn't play a big part in organising the trip, other than doing some of the budget and final changes... but I've been heavily advocating for it, since it was announced. I was super excited for it and really wanted to get out there and explore... take my mind off stuff... and maybe finally be able to come to terms with last year. Come to terms specifically with... losing my father.
...
To be honest, it all actually started off great. I was getting really excited just the day before the trip launched, getting stuff ready on the Templar to explore with Isabella and whatnot... and then they found something aboard the Solaris, in an empty tritium canister. Now, I'm being attacked and criticised by my own squadron because I won't halt the trip or release an official statement over the... 'incident' that happened.
Someone brutally... [#$@!]ing murdered... four crew members. Not just like... killed but... they were completely mangled and... stuffed in that [#$@!]ing cargo canister. Nothing about the remains was recognizable... or so the report says. I didn't see it or the images myself, thank god... but thinking about it... the descriptions... it makes me [#$@!]ing sick. They literally called it the 'amalgamation' or whatever... because that's what it was. Just... four... four people [#$@!]ing s-squished... together...
...
... CSF wants us to cancel or halt the trip until they can figure out what happened... and everyone is just... echoing that. Okay... maybe not everyone, but... it sure feels that way... and I just want some space. That's literally all I want. So much happened last year and I've never gotten a chance to actually come to terms with any of it. Not that anyone seems to actually care, but yeah. So despite what happened, Isa, Violet and I left the Solaris with my ship and we've been following another carrier that was assigned to lead the trip until things are sorted out aboard the Solaris, hopefully in time for the next trip phase.
The carrier is basically 'grounded' until they determine what happened, and they're getting there... but now I can't even return and show my face without being scared of what people will say or think... or do. People are borderline rioting just because I won't cancel the trip to investigate the... the deaths of those crew members. I got contacted earlier today and told that CSF had to temporarily arrest some crew members because they were literally [#$@!]ing starting fights and sabotaging carrier equipment. Minor equipment, but still. I don't know what to do...
Isa will probably find out if she doesn't know already. We've been exploring together while following the other carrier. We found a beautiful planet yesterday and just settled on it for a bit. We drove away from our landing site a bit... did some hiking in the nearby mountains... and yeah. We had a really good time together overall. It was a nice distraction, honestly. I love being with her. She does know most of what's going on and it... bothers her a little as well, but she puts all of that aside for me.
Makes me feel even worse because I can't do that for her. I keep worrying about this stuff constantly, because that's just how I am. And I don't know what to think about the... 'amalgamation' or whatever it is. Those four people. They didn't tell me their names once they identified them but... [#$@!]. What do we even tell their families? What do I even do about any of this? I don't know what I can do. Just... trying to run away from the problem, I guess.
Doesn't help that the initial sites of the trip that we're exploring are related to an organisation called the 'INRA'. I looked it up - Intergalactic Naval Reserve Arm... they were almost like Aegis - formed by the Federation and Empire - except apparently they casually committed genocide against the Thargoids in the first war with a bioweapon, experimented on them, and then were forced to disband in 3253.
So... not only are we exploring creepy sites belonging to a long-defunct shadowy organisation, but I'm also trying to keep myself together once again, while it seems like we're about to have a repeat of last year. It just feels great...
... guess this log just turned into yet another rant. Sorry. I should probably try talk about more positive stuff, but it's a bit difficult, I guess. Just trying to take it one day at a time. I just really want to enjoy this trip with Isa, to see some amazing sights with her. Violet's enjoying it too, it seems... even if she is kind of rebellious and almost got lost on the planet we were on. We brought her with because I didn't really want to leave her alone aboard any of the carriers, and I thought it'd be a nice way to let her see the galaxy. At least she doesn't know about what's going on... it's better that way. The Solaris was supposed to be a safe place for her.
Now it doesn't seem so 'safe' anymore. I just... I don't know what I'll do if anything happens to either of them. I keep saying it but... this makes it all the more clear. If it happened to four crew members... then who else could it happen to? In the end... I... guess there's no real point in worrying over 'what ifs'. But maybe that CSF report was right. I believed it somewhat but... maybe this is the return of attacks against the squadron. Worse ones.
I dunno... I guess there's no way to really tell. Part of me would say maybe this was a once-off... but murdering four people like this says otherwise. This was a message... made by someone. Maybe it's the Crimson Venators or something else entirely. Maybe we won't find out. Everything could fall to pieces and we probably still wouldn't find out. That's just how it goes, usually. You get one answer, and have ten more questions. Nothing ever seems to have a proper conclusion with any of this.
Anyway... I'll stop ranting. Isa and I have some stuff to go explore and discover... and that's the only thing that's keeping me going right now. Spending time with her does help, believe it or not. Even if what I'm saying right now makes it seem otherwise. I'm just angry that... people are attacking me while I'm struggling to figure out what to do and to wrap my head around what happened. That's all.
Hopefully, my next log won't be a rant but... I dunno. I doubt it. I might take a break from them for a while, to be honest, unless I have something really critical to talk about. I just want to spend time with Isa and... yeah... enjoy the trip. Then, maybe... bit by bit, I can come to terms with at least some of this stuff. I guess we'll see how it goes.
Sorry again for... ranting. Ultimately, I just wanted to clear up some stuff - that yes, maybe I'm... kind of 'hiding away'... but for a reason. Hopefully you understand.
Anyway, I gotta go. We need to catch up with the carrier since it departed to its next waypoint already. See ya around, sometime... I guess. Bye.
====================RECORDING END====================
Credit:
This story is only possible thanks to our squadron and community. Join TITAN Contractors, a diverse and talented squadron, and experience our custom lore and events. This logbook as well as associated images and story is property of TITAN Contractors, CMDR Radiumio. A special thank you to CMDR Isabella Levine for allowing me to use their character in the story!
INARA page here.