LOG #103 - Commander A. Adair - TITAN Contractors
31 Mar 2022Aurora Adair (Radiumio)
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LOG: #105
RECORDING TYPE: Personal Log LOG PUBLICISED
What does Log Publicised mean?
In our squadron lore, these logbooks are not supposed to be publicly viewable by Commanders. However, in some circumstances, a log may be compromised OR publicised, allowing it to be considered publicly viewable - in this case, the information within can be used for story or discussion purposes in-character. Compromised implies the logbook has been leaked, whereas publicised means the logbook has been willingly released for story purposes.
RECORDING LOCATION: T.O.C. Solaris (Victory-class Carrier, Q4V-40N)
Heya.
So... didn't expect to make a log so soon, but stuff has happened. Again. I really, really promised myself and Isa that I wouldn't fixate on any bad stuff, and I'm not, I swear. But... there are some noteworthy things to talk about recently that I wanted to touch on now that it's happened, and just get it done with. So... bad news first, and then I promise I'll put a positive spin on it all. Promise.
Righto...
Well... I'll just get into it, I guess. We lost a Commander in the squadron on the 28th of March. Harper Lastimosa. He was an Imperial leading the Skies Unknown, which was a fleet carrier apart of the squadron... until it wasn't. Again, I said I wouldn't fixate too much on what happened, and Harper deserves better than to be painted as some monster, but... long story short; he went rogue... apparently. He just... snapped... all of a sudden and... and just... ordered 'death squads' throughout his carrier... killing innocent people.
Thankfully, he didn't make it far before someone - not naming names - intervened and killed him. Supposedly, he was intending to intercept the Solaris... but that just sounds ridiculous to me if I'm being completely honest. I guess the whole situation was pretty absurd to begin with, but assaulting a carrier that literally fields its own private army? That's just a suicide mission in every way. I'm glad it didn't come to that... but I'm not glad he's dead either. We're supposed to save people, and I just don't feel killing him was necessary when he was injured and immobilized according to the report... but that's just my opinion...
Anyway, lots of aid is being provided by BLUSTAR to the Skies Unknown and its crew to help, but we've otherwise had to cut ties with the carrier entirely because of what happened. It sucks but... at least those people won't be abandoned completely right now. And, of course, the Federation jumped in with an investigation because it occurred in a Federal system. So, most of it is being handled by them. I issued my condolences to his family and even guaranteed to return any personal items we could, which we have... but... no response. Not surprised.
But... yeah. I hate that it even happened in the first place, and that we have to keep burying our people like this. I know a thing or two about what it's like to lose control like that... to snap. It's an awful feeling. Doesn't really help that the 28th was also a day of memories for me. I just kept quiet about it at the time because I don't want people's sympathy... it's just an... awful, awful coincidence, I guess. It was my father's birthday. And earlier on, at midnight, before all of this happened, I was scrolling through... through my PDA...
... Found all the old pictures I'd managed to save, from when I was a teen and my father took me to Earth. He showed me all the monuments that I didn't understand at the time, still don't... even took me to areas that you'd usually be barred from as a normal Federal citizen. He did all that... for me. Showed me the world. Then I hit 18 and things went downhill from there but... I always remember the good things he did for me, fondly. It's... it's been three m-months since...
...
... r-... really hard... to talk about this s-... still. Sorry. Ugh... [#$@!].
...
... Sorry. Uhh... well... I didn't know h-how bad it would... would hit me u-until it happened but... now I know. U-... unsurprisingly... it... it still hurts like hell. Thinking about all the things I wanted to tell him. Just having o-one last hug... stuff like that. Had that all t-... taken from me in one day...
...
So... to say I was in the mood for the rest of the day, especially when I found out about the Skies Unknown, would be putting it lightly. Isa did help a lot, though. She found out about it because I... uh... I broke down crying in our room when I found the images. I'm doing okay now. Just gets upsetting to think about it sometimes, all the things we lose. I'm tired of it. Tired of [#$@!]ing losing what I care about... and eventually, there might not be much left.
Wish I could've met Harper as well. Never met him in person but Isa mentioned him rarely, and I found out he called me 'Lady Adair' via her. Funny... when we announced our engagement, he started calling her 'Lady' as well. He seemed like a great guy, with the usual Imperial arrogance. Was kind of charming, though, based on all I've heard. So... hearing him just 'snap' like this didn't make sense. But, we can't change it anymore, I guess. It's just such a shame. He deserved better.
So... I expect there to be some kind of service for Harper. The Skies Unknown will be refitted likely - but whether or not it's placed back into squadron service is another thing. I'm confident the crew will still have their home, though. And... my father's death is... well... that's something I'll need to come to terms with slowly. Lots to deal with there...
But, that's not the thing I wanted to talk about. I did promise I'd put a positive spin on things.
Sooo~... here goes. Since the next, biggest Phase of our squadron expedition trip is just around the corner, I wanted to kind of... lighten things up a bit. Isa didn't take Harper's death great because she wishes she could've done more... and... so I wanted to lift her spirits a bit. Get excited for the coming journey and whatnot.
So I took her out on a date. A date approximately 1,200ly away, to be exact. I was totally chatting her up in the Solaris command deck ready room, since I told her I had a surprise for her and kept teasing her with it throughout the day. But, when I finally got the notification that the ship was fuelled and ready, I revealed that I'd repainted the Templar, and we went to take a look. We chatted about it a bit in the hangar, had our laughs about what the paintjob was called officially... and then we packed some stuff and set off.
I didn't tell her where we were going, but I plotted a route to a system just called "Oort" near Barnard's Loop. I saw it while browsing the Codex not too long ago, and it looked spectacular, so I really wanted to go out there sometime. And, who better to go with than my absolutely lovely, stunning fiancée?
I just figured it'd give us a nice... uh... appetizer for the start of the Colonia journey on the 2nd of April. And it was incredibly beautiful too. There were these massive clouds in the system... they call them 'lagrange clouds'. They're just these massive accumulations of... nebulous gas which creates these really striking combination of colors, and some inspire the growth of these biological features inside of them. It's... mind blowing, actually. Really hard to explain. There were two in the system, and the first one we went to was this mixture of red and pink... with these amazing metallic crystals and actual lifeforms 'inside'.
I'm... really not a scientist to be honest, no matter how hard I try... so I'd be lying if I said I didn't need the ship's heads-up display to tell me what I was looking at. Isa's the same, so that made me feel a bit better... but she just couldn't stop babbling about how beautiful it was. It was actually really cute, seeing her face light up like that. I figure she's seen this kind of stuff on her own journeys but... maybe seeing it together was the special part. And... the first cloud was pink too, so. I think it was the pink.
And maybe... just maybe it was also the cute little floating mollusc things in the cloud. She... ugh, God, I really love her so much. She literally called them "squishy-looking floating potatos". She's so amazing. I couldn't stop laughing.
But... when she could finally get me to stop laughing, we went and checked out the second one, and it was this pretty cool orange, but... honestly, Isa said the pink one was way better, and I agree. Given the chance, she probably would've filled up the camera drone's storage if I'd let her. It was just that amazing. We went back for an hour or so, had some of the snacks we brought along... and... yeah.
We spent hours in the surrounding area, just chatting and... y'know... sightseeing. We travelled to some other systems, saw some atmospheric planets. Lots of it was already surveyed but that didn't really detract from how amazing it was. Our last stop was this oxygen planet that had this really gorgeous view of Barnard's Loop and... yeah. We stood there together, held hands, blah blah blah... we had a really good time. I love seeing her smile and those hazel eyes light up when she talks... so it was well worth the journey.
She's kinda exhausted from it all, so... she went to sleep now, but I wanted to record this log. Just wanted to say that... things might not be great all the time but... at the very least, there's also a lot to look forward to. So... my moral of the story? We might not be able to control everything in the end... but we can control how we respond. Whether we let this slow us down or not. Or... we can move on and remember those we lost. Uphold their memories, the positive impact they made... remember all the good times we had with them, because it was never truly wasted in the end.
Better to have loved and lost... than to have never loved at all. Heard that somewhere... and it sure is true. So... yeah. That's my positive spin on things... that no matter the bad things, we at least have the people we love, the happy memories we've made - no matter how small, and doing the things you enjoy. That's just life, isn't it? The meaning we gave it... what keeps us going.
Right... oookay, it's really late and I'm not trying to turn into a philosopher, so... I should get to bed. Bit of a shorter log this time, and I'm still not sure if I can keep up with them while we're exploring out by Colonia, but... hey, I'll try, I guess. We'll just have to see how it goes.
Until next time. Bye!
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Credit:
This story is only possible thanks to our squadron and community. Join TITAN Contractors, a diverse and talented squadron, and experience our custom lore and events. This logbook as well as associated images and story is property of TITAN Contractors, CMDR Radiumio. A special thank you to CMDR Isabella Levine for allowing me to use their character in the story!
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