Fer-De-Lance. The space prius equivalent. - An alcohol fueled rant.
30 May 2020Lennard Wakefield
Ah Fer-De-Lance. The go-to comfort ride of PVP combat ship. I cannot deny it's capability and firepower. But it's power hasn't come without a cost. Something that cannot be bought with credits and long tedious grind. To fly a Fer-De-Lance and love it, one must have no taste.
Fer-De-Lance drom the top down is the very definition of fucking up the curvy design. On it's side is an equivalent of a rejected dildo design - ribbed for her pleasure. It's engine looks like an electric shaver. The ship silhouette has no regard for weight composition. When my friend said - with confidence : "It's like a space Ferrari!" I gasped. He must have had this impression when the said Ferrari was parked behind a half-deflated blow-up castle. The only land-vehicle that Fer-De-Lance is equivalent to is a Prius from an alternate reality that Kiichiro Toyoda had a brain damage.
I thought perhap it's manufacturer - Zorgon Peterson - intended it's line of products to be deeply fugly by design, but that is also not the case. Because Mamba looks quite good! Tragically it does not perform, another proof that Zorgon's performance cannot coexist with beauty.
At first I thought to myself, Did the concept artist get inspired by his own sweat stain, or perhap he lazily line-traced an ink smudge that fell from his fountain pen while he was high on crack-cocaine? But I shook those thoughts away, because as a designer myself, I shouldn't just judge other artist's work on the first glance. So did some research and look through the ship lead designer's earlier concept arts of Fer-de-lance.
Most of the options that the artist painted were arguably - quite decent. But of-course, they had to pick one that look like a cross between a hair-clipper and an anal fissure. You may say : "But the space ship doesn't have to be aesthetic! Function comes first." to which I would reply : What could possibly be the function of paper plane wing and ribbed top surface that only serves to undermine it's aerodynamic?
You may say, beauty is subjective. But the majority of humanity has subconsciously agreed that one who claims that dogshit smells like flowers should be shunned.
To all Fer-De-Lance fans whom I may offend - I am so sorry. It must be so hard to be wrong all the time.
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk