Fleet Comedy
29 Jun 2020Rex-Cramer
“Error - Black Adder”The nervous looking Brewer Corp finance officer let out an exasperated sigh.
“I’m so sorry Sir, the system does appear to be down at this time. I can try the transaction again but I’m afraid the results are likely to be the same. I’m not sure the demand for immediate delivery by so many was anticipated by our technology division. I’m sure the system will be back to full operation tomorrow.”
He raised up from his chair in that way that invites you to do so as well to be on your way. Instead I remained seated and gave him the coldest stare I could muster. His good customer service smile melted down a bit and he shifted uncomfortably in his stance finally asking: “Is there something more I can do for you this evening sir”?
“Oh, yes there is”, I calmly replied. “You can sit back down and try again as many times as it takes to complete the transfer of my ship”.
“I really don’t th...”, he interrupted but I continued.
“I have over 600 crew right now mustered and ready to depart. I have station quarters for these 1500 crew which have now expired as we were supposed to be underway by now. At the moment this crew is without any use but what they do currently do with exceptional regularity is eat and drink and shit their way though my money. Money that I have substantially less of now that you have taken delivery of my deposits. So, if it’s not too much to ask for the over six billion credits we have paid you tonight, I’d like for you to continue trying to complete the ship transfer so that I can put these 1,500 people to some productive work.”
His forced pleasant face had begun to crack as I wrapped up, and i heard Kayley snicker slightly behind me.
“Very well sir”, the now unhappy little clerk said with a return of his forced smile and recomposure. “Let me see if I can make another attempt at this.”
“That would be wonderful, very good of you young man, I appreciate it”, i said with a reciprocal smile and slight nod.
The tapping of his fingers on the virtual keyboard began again to beat out the text into the forms. It seemed a kind of torture dreamed up by the tech guys that this form had to be re-filled entirely after each error message. After another hour of this even I couldn't force the poor man to continue with the farce. Whatever was going on, we're not getting into the carrier tonight.
It was hours more to stand the crew down and recover the lodging for them. Several hundred had to sleep in the ships that night as space was gone for them in the habitat modules. Makeshift pillows and beds from luggage and clothing bags were their sleeping mats. Kayley and I along with the section chiefs made rounds handing out what food we could get ahold of in the short time we had to muster it up. Mostly noodle cups and some generic protein packs had to be shared between up to three crew. Most were taking it ok, but the expect grumblings were heard when they thought we couldn't hear.
Several members of the cargo crew got into a fight over drinks and ended up being hauled off by station security. If this continued too much longer I could be assured that this would be repeated and with greater frequency. when we arrived at the Brewer Corp offices the next day there was a small army of clerks there to greet and herd the buyers as they worked through the backlog. The systems appeared to be operational and transactions were finally going through.
My turn to the desk came rapidly and we were able to complete the turn over transaction and transfer control of the vessel to me and the bridge crew. As soon as I was out of the office I radioed to the ships to start loading crew and getting them to the ship. The bridge crew was already on the way and the firt 10 ships would have more help for them getting the remaining crew sorted and into rotation.
It was an impressive operation to see the ships moving in and out on the dot for timing. The entire crew transfer was completed within 10 minutes of scheduled time. A positive sign for competence of the senior staff. Within a few hours of the crew-lift completion "Leviathan's Reach" was ready to make her first jump back to Asling Duval space. Even from within my office I could hear the increase in activity as the ship was being made ready for hyperspace. I was busy putting the last few books onto my shelves when the horn sounding the final 3 minutes to jump sounded. I got situated in my seat and strapped in for the jump. The countdown came. Five, four, three, two, one. But then came the sound of the sudden and unexpected spin-down of the drives.
"Oh shit", I said, as the drive fully spun down and the lights came back to normal levels but with the amber warning lights flashing now. Before I could make my way to the bridge Kayley pulled me aside in the hall.
"Hey you hear what happened", she asked? I shook my head. "So, the software rebooted the drives at the 0 mark, we burned the fuel to open the portal but the reboot left us dead so we couldn't enter. The engineer is on video with Brewer trying to track down the bug".
I sighed. "So wee just burned 2.6M credits in fuel to make a pretty light show"?
"That's about the long an short of it", she confirmed with pained look.
"God damn. I MEAN GOD DAMN IT", I shouted! "If this has not been the worst fucking experience I've had buying a ship, then I...."
She reached up and put her hand on my mouth. "Hey, you've got a crew walking by all around you. Gotta keep it together out and about boss", she said.
"Look, engineer's on it. He'll get it fixed. Why don't you come with me and check out the fitness room. Let's put that stress to work", she grabbed my arm and pulled me down the hall past the bustle of the crew. On the way down I tapped out a message to the captain asking to be informed as soon as the problem was corrected and we were able to make another attempt to jump.
If you couldn't laugh, you'd have to cry.