The Pig-In-A-Poke Scam
06 Jun 2021JB Threepwood
I was slumped in a chair in the pilots' lounge, swigging cheap rum from a hipflask whilst I waited for the payment from my last mission to be confirmed.There was the usual hustle and bustle... passengers grabbing snacks for their journeys, mechanics collecting parts, pilots rowing with officials over some bullshit red-tape... nothing to write home about.
I'd been watching some guy trying to pull an artefact scam. He was sloppy and his fake artefact looked like he'd paid an 8 year old to make it in art class. There was a little bit of money to be made in this racket, but not much. Back when I grifted with Rocco we'd pull those sorts of scams... but it was mainly the greenhorns that were more likely to fall for it... and they were the ones with the least money.
*******
The Artefact Scam, Green Goods Scam, Gold Brick Scam, Pig In A Poke... the grift had a million names as it was one of the oldest types of hustle going. The trick is old, but how you sell the trick has to keep being updated as people cotton on after a while.
There was no point chasing people around, trying to hock some piece of shit, all you'll do is scare off your marks. Rocco, the shifty old bastard that my old gang had me work for, knew the importance of patience with a good scam. He'd taught me the three main motivations for any hustle; Greed, Lust and Fear. If you used any of those as your bait then they'll be hopping on your hook by themselves. Goldbrick Scams are pure greed. Something for nothing. Anyone who fell for them only had themselves to blame.
The planet I was born on, Rapa Bao, was an agricultural planet with a few tourist ports... near enough to the edge of the bubble that we'd get a few passing explorers. Rocco would drive us out to one of the tourist ports where we knew pilots would come in looking for cheap provisions and modules for long range trips.
The scam would start with finding a pad with a beaten-up ship, something typical for an explorer like an Asp or Diamondback. The dirtier and more worn down the better... something you'd easily believe had been to the other side of the galaxy and back. You don't want a big ol' shiny 'Conda... you'd need an air of desperation about you. Once you find the right looking ship you bring the players into the scene.
With a suitable ship selected, I'd walk up and stand by it... giving it the once over. I'd wear some suitably battered clothing, something that made it look like I'd been stuck in a cockpit for months on end... it was a stereotype of explorers, for sure, but that sort of image of ship and pilot is a shorthand, your brain already took in the image as a weary explorer with his well travelled ship... they'd make the connection without you having to say a word. Then we'd just wait for the right mark to walk around the landing pads. We were back in Imperial space so someone flying Fed colours was the preference.
Whilst the mark was nearby... and I was there looking like a well travelled explorer... Rocco would wade in. Dressed in full Imperial regalia he'd come in hard, something about my ship firmly in his crosshairs.
"If you don't hand it over to the Imperial Navy now we will come down on you with the full weight of The Empire!..." or some similar line.
"Look, I don't know what you're talking about..." I'd reply, then feed a bit more information, "...I haven't got the device! I told this to the last guy!" Rocco would scroll through his dataslate in an administrative fashion... his finger ticking boxes that didn't exist.
"Don't try and exit the planet, Mr Cortez," ...or whatever name we'd agreed on... "We have your ship on record and will not hesitate to immobilise you if you try to leave."
With his threats made, and the story initiated for the benefit of our Fed friend, Rocco would storm off... announcing down his Comms the landing pad of the DBX we'd been pretending was mine.
Once again, don't chase The Mark, let them think they're making the decisions... it's easier to trick someone when they think they're in control of the situation.
I'd walk into the pilots' lounge and sit near enough to The Mark that they'd feel comfortable enough to start a conversation. If their normal, human nosey-bastardness didn't start up a discussion, a huff and a scratch of the chin would often work as a cue.
"Trouble with the authorities?" Would often be their opening line, petty bureaucracy was something most pilots could associate with to some level.
A furtive look around, make sure there's nobody listening in...
"Yeah... bloody Imps breathing down my neck..." feed them a little fraternity, let them think we're on the same team, that we've got the same friends... and the same enemies. "Found something on my travels and those shits want the tech for The Empire."
Slowly, slowly catchy monkey. Don't blurt out the story, let him think he's being a great inquisitor... wheedling the information out of you.
I tell him I've been traveling out in the black... traveling through seams of uncharted systems... been around the guardian sites... but none of this is enough to attract the officials, he'll want to know more. Once the conversation has started, his natural human curiosity will make him want to get to the point. Eventually I move a little closer, again shorthand, he'll know I'm moving in to reveal the big secret.
"So I find this artefact... I attached it to my FSD..." I whisper, looking around to make sure only my new buddy and I know the story, "...all of a sudden... my jump range goes through the roof. I'm hitting over 120ly in my DBX."
If we were on an extraction planet it would be a different device but, at a tourism port near the edge of the bubble? It had to be a Frame Shift Drive.
"Now I've got Imperial Brass breathing down my neck to hand it over to their R&D boys... to give them the edge over The Federation..." I'd continue, leaving the last part lingering in the air a little, "...I'm not handing it over to them but it's getting harder to hide it from them."
Leave the ball in their court. I have an amazing FSD I can't use... they're in the market for a good FSD... once again you let them think that they're the one coming up with the idea to buy it off you. Let them think they're ripping you off whilst you're up against a wall.
"If they're just following you then I could take it off your hands..." they'd offer, sometimes promising to take it to Fed space for safe keeping, thinking I'd have some real affiliation with The Federation.
Got 'em. Now it's just a case of making sure my own greed didn't overtake theirs. Don't charge too little either, why would you give something so valuable away for pennies? You have to put a big price tag on it, just don't be ridiculous. The golden spot was around 5 million.
"...just don't attach it to your ship until you're well away from this system. They've got a blockade scanning ships leaving the planet so wait until you're well clear..." I'd advise them. Their money went into an untraceable account so, as soon as they found out it was a pig-in-a-poke, we'd have their money moved and we'd be in the wind.
It might take a couple of days of fishing but the 5m was a good payout for the amount of time we'd put in.
*******
I rolled my eyes as I watched the idiot running around trying to pony off his poxy device.
I reopened my Comms Unit to see if the payment for my last legitimate job had gone through.