Looking back
15 Oct 2017Charlie Paulson
Near-on a year since my last entry. Didn't have the words after the second battle of Peneng Wa, and sure as hell didn't have the inclination. I keep telling myself Lauren knew the risks, but try telling her parents she died for a good cause when you're on a corporation's payroll.First time I sat in a pilot's chair, I felt powerful, and I wanted to use that power to protect folks who know the law. Somewhere along the way, I lost that. Started chasing the money.
Colonel Matzov wanted PanGal contractors to help with the situation in Peneng Wa, and when Lauren, Kensi and I saw the payouts, we signed up. Didn't have a dog in the race, but got involved anyway. It was all fun and games until we got jumped by a squadron of Imperial Navy ships, and the Hardrada took a pounding. They shot out the FSD soon as the shields went down, then the thrusters after that. We went for the escape pods while the old gal soaked up missiles.
Kensi and I made it, but Lauren didn't.
I wrote her parents from my hospital bed. They never replied.
Insurance company bought us a mothballed 'conda in Wrangell's shipyards. Kensi and I set about fixing her up, but it wasn't the same. Kensi started using again, and and thanks to me she was rich enough to keep the habit going. Took her to rehab a few times, but it didn't take. Eventually I told her she had to pick: stay on the dust, or stay on the ship. She chose the dust.
So there I was: unfamiliar ship, no crew, no purpose. Just an ageing millionaire with no right to complain and no one to blame but himself.