Lesson learnt
31 Oct 2019NyarlathOwOtep
I do not know how long it has been, as time is not a concept I usually live by. I am pretty sure that I am through the "normal" period the apostates live in, and now in some kind of degenerative withdrawal state. I feel now the Angels touch i the only thing now able to restore me, so a pilgrimage to the Holy site is once more needed. Hopefully this time it last a little longer.I bleed from my ears and nostrils now, as well as more personal areas, on a slow, but steady stream. The eerily silence has been replaced by the screams once more, but they are deafening, refusing to let me sleep as their painful shrieks fill my ears. My vision appears to constantly trick me, not quite hallucinations, but little visual oddities, like mistaking a wrench for a pistol. It's not that I am seeing something different, it's that my brain is reacting differently, more violently and defensively.
I barely have the energy to write this, let alone make the pilgrimage, but at this point i fear for my life. Let this be a lesson to the next version of me that reads this.
Do not hold of the pilgrimage. It is demanded, and it's fine's not worth it.
The lucidity is fleeting.
As is this version of you.
As is everything.