DEAR MOTHER
20 Oct 2019Cortez Suez
DEAR MOTHER,I HOPE THIS TELEKINESIS-GRAM FINDS YOU WELL. DON'T BE ALARMED WHEN I SAY THIS...I DIED YESTERDAY. I TOLD YOU NOT TO BE ALARMED. I THINK YOU RUPTERED MY AURAL REGULATOR IMPLANT WITH THAT SCREAM. I DIDN'T DIE IN THE PERMANENT SENSE, BUT ONLY IN A MOMENTARY SENSE. I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT EITHER MOTHER. APPARENTLY I HAVE REAL LIFE INSURANCE. I'M NOT TRYING TO BE FUNNY MOTHER. I'M JUST TRYING TO EASE YOUR MIND. NO, I'M NOT A ZOMBIE. WE'VE DISCUSSED THIS MOTHER. WELL, YES, IN A WAY THEY ARE PLAYING GOD AS YOU LIKE TO SAY BUT WOULD YOU RATHER ME BE DEAD RIGHT NOW? THAT'S NOT FUNNY MOTHER. DID YOU YOU JUST SNORT OUT OF YOUR NOSE FROM LAUGHING SO HARD? ANYWAY, I HAVEN'T RECEIVED MY NEW SUIT SO I'M STILL SQUEAKING WHEREVER I WALK. I TRIED ALL TYPES OF LUBES AND CREAMS BUT THAT ONLY CHANGES THE PITCH OF THE SQUEAK, SO NOW NOT ONLY DOES MY SUIT SQUEAK WHEN I WALK, IT ALSO WILL PLAY A TUNE. AND THERE YOU GO AGAIN. IS THERE ANYWAY YOU CAN WAIT UNTIL AFTER OUR TALK AND THEN YOU CAN LAUGH ALL YOU WANT? YES, I SAID I USED DIFFERENT LUBES. UMMM, EVERYONE IN THE STATION IS GIVEN SEVERAL BOTTLES OF LUBE WHEN THEY ARRIVE. IT COMES IN A WELCOME BASKET. I'M NOT LYING MOTHER. YES, THEY HAVE WELCOME BASKETS. CAN WE JUST DROP THE BASKET AND LUBE CONVERSATION. THAT'S FINE, THINK WHATEVER YOU WANT TO MOTHER. OH, SO NOW WE'RE BACK ON MY "DEATH." I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED. IT'S EXTREMELY GRAPHIC BUT YET I WAS HEROIC AND MAY GET A MEDAL. OH, SO YOU WERE ALERTED AS SOON AS IT HAPPENED AND THEY TOLD YOU HOW IT HAPPENED? ALRIGHT, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR LAUGHTER AND SNORTING FOR ONE DAY. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE. AND I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT COMMANDERS RUN OUT OF GAS ALL THE TIME. BYE MOTHER !!!!