Greens are good for you
09 Dec 2021Rod Ironshaft
”I'm sorry, say again?” Rod asked, trying to sound convincibly innocent.”That is onionhead”, officer said, gammastraining to keep his voice down.
”I don’t know anything about heads or tails, sir”, Rod said, ”but I do know an onion when I see one. And these are onions. Why, the green colour of this fine produce alone screams majesty!”
”Travesty, more like it”, officer replied. ”That unholy rat poison green glows brighter than the guiding lights of this space station entrance!”
”Well, maybe you should use these onions instead then, you know, to guide people in”, Rod said. ”But do be careful, sir, that kind of action might potentially increase the price of these healthy vitamin bombs.”
The officer rolled his eyes.
As the discussion fell silent, a younger female officer walked by and said: ”Oh. Gamma strain! Just in time!”
”In time?” Rod asked.
”Why, yes!” the woman said and sniffed one green bud, before putting it back into the cart. ”The controlling party leader loves that stuff! He asked me to inform him the second a new batch comes to the station. They are celebrating a local election victory and taking control of this fine station in the concourse bar tonight.”
”That’s odd”, Rod said.
”Why so?”
”Well, as it happens”, Rod said and eyed at the baffled male officer, ”apparently, this stuff is still illegal here.”
”Illegal?” the woman said and released a harsh laugh. ”Not after the change in leadership yesterday!”
”Not?” the officer asked. ”Not illegal? But the federation hates this stuff!”
”Gamma has friends in high places”, woman said and smirked.
”Well, ok then! Happy to oblige”, Rod said and waved his hands to the tech crew. ”Haul it in boys! All 448 tons of it! Tonight we party!”
”Wait, you have your federal corvette filled to the brim with this stuff?” the officer asked.
”Yeah”, Rod said with a sigh. ”Did some jobs for those bloody farmers down there, you know. Groundhogs refused to pay with credits and insisted on giving their produce instead.”
”That cargo hold is going to smell for weeks”, the woman said.
”That is probably nothing compared to the station concourse after tonight”, Rod replied.
The officer winced as in pain.
”Are you alright, sir?” Rod asked in a worried tone. ”You look a bit pale.”
”Just stomach burns, nothing to worry about”, officer said. ”Must have been something I ate.”
”You know what”, Rod said. ”I think you should introduce something new to your diet. My mother always insisted on adding more greens to the plate.”
”More greens?” officer repeated.
”Why, yes”, Rod said. ”The greener the better!” He dropped a strangely greenish onion into the officers hand, tapped him in the shoulder and took a couple of steps towards the lobby lifts. ”Try it. You might like it. It is completely legal. Goes well with Lavian brandy.”
As the lift doors slid open with a familiar and welcoming hiss, Rod turned back to face the officer one last time and said:
”Oh, and by the way, you know what they say?”
”What?” officer asked.
”Greens are good for you”, Rod said with a chuckle, as the sliding doors shut close in front of his face.