NEW BEGINNINGS
01 Nov 2022Descartes
A small vibration on my wrist. I glanced down. Messages waiting. Wondering how I'd managed to get my Remlock suit off without removing my communicator, I remembered struggling half way out the suit in my anger on the bridge of Sam's ASP half a lifetime ago. Looking down at my colour-coded messages, one in red grabbed my full attention. The Old Man was dead. What else could go wrong.
"I have a fast Viper at Jameson, do have anything fast closer? If so, I need to borrow it. I have a funeral to go to."
"Aftet that we can decide wether or not you're coming on my exploration trip."
What else could go wrong?
The Old Man's send-off should have been a quiet affair, somewhere 'around the back of the sun'.
It was a long haul to Sol. I arrived too late. Making use of my permit for the first time I landed to refuel and get the latest news. A small fleet had turned up for the funeral. Several system authority ships had stayed as far away as possible from the usual compliment who, in turn, stayed well away from the more disreputable smugglers, pirates and worse. Each faction pretending to ignore the others as if they were not there. Each watching, making notes and logging ship signatures. I left as soon as I could.
I dropped into empty space to collect my thoughts. I couldn't take it all in. Couldn't believe it. The Old Man dead. The massacre on Sam's ship. Sam's survival. Four (now dead) men looking for me. A wide-awake dream. Connected nightmare? Angry and confused the tears came, then cold, dark nothing.
Nothing - 'the absence of something'. It makes no sense. 'The Universe spontanesouly occured'. Like the even earlier belief, 'In the begining, God created heaven and earth', it makes no sense. If God was already there, then it was not the begining. What was there first?
For the first time in my life, I really understood my name-sake's often mis-interpreted 'First Principles'. Cogit Ergo Sum. I think, therefore I am . . .something that thinks. It was time to make a fresh start. First: confront Sam and get my questions answered.