Logbook entry

Intrusive News-Thoughts

10 Feb 2022KazukoHimura
I felt that it was too quiet on my ship today, so I threw on Galnet for some noise. At first, everything was typical: Federation leadership overreaching again, the Alliance’s opinions on the partnership with Sirius, Aegis matters, Imperial Senate trying to deal with NMLA fallout… you know, the standard stuff.

But, one news article made my heart leap into my throat.

‘Arissa Rescued from Year-Long Captivity’.

I slammed the throttle down to zero. The only things I could fully make out were that she was in a cryogenic pod, she was alive, and there were senators working with the NMLA. My own thoughts drowned out the remainder of the article, and one of those thoughts stuck out over all others:

That could have been me!

Who knows if the Raiders have hidden connections somewhere in the Keltim Empire League’s benefactors and politicians? Perhaps Nanurjurkass has a few plants in their staff as well? Even worse, what if they were among CEA’s politicians? Or the facility staff?

I felt like I couldn’t breathe at that thought, and quickly turned off Galnet in hopes that would stop the incoming panic attack in its tracks. Unfortunately, the silence only made the intrusive thoughts louder.

How do you think Nanurjuk found you? He couldn’t have traced your location from the black box. There has to be a tracker on your person. When could they have put one in? Could it still be active?

I’m sure the hospital staff would have removed it. They have the technology to find these things.

There could have been a plant in the hospital staff. Think about it: Keltim Empire League could have had orders to leave it in, and you were a ward of theirs.

No, it can’t be. What would they gain from that?

It makes perfect sense! They’d have seen you land, and gone after you! The only reason that you’re safe now is because of the two-pronged retaliation from Kezika and Jubei.

No, please no… I wanted to cry out, but my body wouldn’t let me. I was frozen, gripped with fear, while my brain was firing every neuron it could. Every electric charge that fired was the same horrifying thought, repeating over and over again…

You’re only safe because you’re out here, in the black.

I struggled, but knowing what was happening I hit a specific large button on the control panel. My COVAS blared, reporting a medical emergency. My last semi-rational thoughts echoed in the darkness before fading into the all consuming panic…

Why can’t I just be normal?
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