Data log found in an abandoned spacecraft pt7 - Conclusion
15 Nov 2020Orion Blacksun
<ship's log><Nyarlathotep ORI-07>
<Cmdr Orion Blacksun>
<11 nov 3306>
Day 79
I have finished the route. I've visited all the systems that Montgomery intended to go to and now I'm back at Sol docked in Mars High drinking a well earned coffee. The remaining systems on the route were predictably devoid of the supernatural, all being populated and in the bubble. I'm not complaining. I've had my fill of horror for now. But while visiting these safe systems I've had time to come up with some sort of conclusion, or at least a hypothesis, that fits what I've seen.
Firstly, the Elder Sign, that strange symbol that both Montgomery and I daubed upon our ships without a second thourght. There are descriptions of it in Lovecraft, I saw it in a monolith in a guardian site, and the thargoids react to it. There is certainly something there, evidence of some unified, what? Knowledge? Experience? Influence? that connects the three races and who knows what else.
Thargoid encounters I've had while that was on my ship were unusual. So many of them. Coming up to my ship for a moment then leaving. Now putting aside the fear I felt at the time, the word I would use to describe their behaviour is reverence.
Second, the fate of Montgomery. I think that he probably went down to a thargoid site and stole something, then perhaps the thargoids came after him to get it back. Why they didn't just destroy his ship I don't know but it might be due to the nature of what he stole or else a reaction to the elder sign on his ship. I think that his mind may have just snapped at the end. Clutching an alien artefact while scouts swarmed around his ship he ejected. I hope his end was quick.
And thirdly, most difficult for me to rationalise because of the mental state I was in at the time, was my almost suicide in the neurton star and subsequent encounter with unknown entities. I'm still struggling with this. As to what those ships were, who they belonged to and what they were doing I just don't know. And with the tiny glimpse I had I don't think I can begin to make sense of it, other than to say that there are things out there that we still know nothing about.
I am reminded of an old story a lecturer used to tell when I think of what I saw. He used it to warn students against drawing conclusions from fragmentary data. It goes like this: If I pick up an ant, examine it, and then return it to the nest the other ants ask it "what happened to you?" how can the ant anwser?
That's how I feel. Like something immense has just passed me and I'm left spinning in the wake trying to figure out what happened.
So now what? The expedition is done and I'm back safely. My ships now have a star painted on them and my sanity is shaken. There are certainly follow up expeditions that could be done, to thargoid sites looking for a statue, back to the monkey head to catch another glimpse of the others. But this has certainly taken its toll. I'm in no hurry to totally shatter my mind just yet. My squadron are embarking on an expedition to SagA* and back and I think I'll tag along. Not because it in the opposite direction to the monkey head. Not at all.
This is Commander Orion Blacksun signing off.